


Hodnes Laik Kwelnes

by valissa_lexaoel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Related, Eventual Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Grounder Culture, POV Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 37
Words: 80,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5398103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valissa_lexaoel/pseuds/valissa_lexaoel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starting at Season One, story told from Lexa's POV. See beyond the Heda mask and learn more about Grounder culture. Story will continue past season 2 ending, a mixture of canon dialogue and my own creation. Eventual Clexa with other character backgrounds mixed in. I own nothing, I just really connect with emotionally closed off characters ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Posting my first Fanfic here, any thoughts are welcomed! Anyone know how I could get a beta reader? English is not my first language, so I hope there are no major errors that break the story down to much!
> 
> I put translation in parentheses, but I was not sure if that helps or breaks the flow. Let me know if you prefer translations at the end of the chapter or intermingled as they are.

Chapter 1

The sobbing echoed off the stone walls, making it reverberate throughout the room, amplifying the sound to a near deafening tone. She felt her way along the stone, the moisture from the air gave the cold wall a slick texture that felt foreign under her fingers. As the sobbing grew more and more intense, so did her searching for an exit along the walls. She furiously pressed against every dim stone she could reach, trying to find a weak spot, a door, something to guide her out of the square space. 

She moved swiftly, touching everything, feeling cold moss cling to her skin, water drip down her soaked arms, her visible breath releasing in short bursts of mist in the cold air. It felt like forever, but she finally felt the stone knock back at her, a dull thud telling her that there was emptiness behind the wall. She ran against it, kicked and punched it; trying to loosen the stones enough that she could pull them out and free herself and the person producing the sobs. 

She felt her flesh digging in to the stone as she picked and pulled, tearing the stone down one by one until she produce a hole large enough for her to crawl through. Grunting, she pulled herself to the other side; the sobbing stopping the moment she fell gracelessly from the hole in wall to the ground in a pile of broken skin and wet clothes. Her heart beat wildly, reverberating through her body, thumping loudly in her ears, blood pushing its way through her body noisily. Distractingly. 

She gave her eyes a few moments to adjust to the dimly lit room. There was no sound emanating in here. The silence and the darkness combine together to disorient her. She felt like she was falling into a vacuum, a hole where no sound or light could escape and the momentary thought only worked to increase her anxiety. She willed herself to stand up and take a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and steady her internal resolve to continue moving forward. She inhaled deeply as she was taught, concentrating on the way her lungs filled up and imagined the oxygen moving its way through her blood, bringing her heart rate down quickly. Her eyes finally adjusting to the darkness and she could see an arch on the other side that indicated there was a path she could take out of here. 

Not knowing what could potentially lay ahead of her, she looked around her for some type of weapon. Finding nothing obvious in the room, she leans down and picks up one of the stones she had dislodged from the wall, she lets its weight rest in her hand as she decides if a larger stone would be easier to wield over something smaller that wouldn't weight as much. 

Suddenly the wailing that had drawn her in this direction in the first place starts again, louder and more pronounced this time. She keeps the stone in her hand and begins to move cautiously forward towards the entrance of the room, training her ears to try and pick up any additional sounds, how many people might be on the other side? What danger could she be walking in to without any kind of protection? She peers past the arch, and sees a long corridor that ends in a room that appears to be better lit then the one she is in. She takes a few tentative steps in that direction, noticing the abrupt change in temperature dropping significantly with each step. Her damp clothes weight her down and stick to her skin that pricks at the cool air. Her movements feel jerky and slow, like she is wading through mud despite there being no obstacle between her and the room she is heading towards. She breaths out a huff of air and watches it transform into a cloud of cold as its released from her body. Curious she though to herself, it’s to early for this type of weather, how have I missed the preparation season? Where am I? she mused, taking in her surroundings again.

The wailing suddenly stops again, forcing her to pause her internal processing to see what has caused the silence to envelope her again. It takes only a second or two for the wailing to be replaced by piercing screams of pain. She crouches low covering her ears as the shrieks bounce off the walls with such ferocity that it feels like she's being bombarded by a 1000 people screaming their pain at her all at once. Her breathing increases as panic envelopes her. She opens her eyes wide in fear as the realization hits her, she recognizes the voice, the tone, the person that those screams of terror are coming from. 

She quickly pulls herself together, and without thinking runs towards the source of the sound, “COSTIA!” she cries out, her feet carrying her faster then she thought possible towards the room. With no warning, a door slams the entrance shut giving Lexa no time to stop her momentum as she crashes into the door. “COSTIA!” she screams again as she picks herself up from the floor, she begins pounding on the door with every ounce of her strength. 

“LEXA!” the voice beckons, pleading. “HELP ME! LEXA!” Her blood runs cold at the painful screams coming from her lover. She claws wordlessly at the door, trying to break it open with sheer brute force. “HURRY!”, came the pleas, egging her on to continue to try and break down the wooden barrier. 

“COSTIA! Hold on, I’m coming!” She screamed back as the cries of pain grew louder. Tears began streaming down her face at her hopeless realization that she was not strong enough to bend or break the wood to her will. She punched the door once more, feeling hope leave her body as she slid down the door in despair. She looked at her hands, blooded from the stone and wood, her ragged breath cutting through the sounds of Costa screaming in pain. Her body betraying her in the only moment where she needed it to come through. 

“Lexa!” came the ragged response, “Please!”. She could almost feel the pain Costia was feeling through the door, but it was useless, the door would not budge. She slammed her forehead against the door, feeling helpless as sobs escaped her, when she felt a wet puddle growing beneath her knees. She looked down and felt the warm liquid with her fingers. She raised her hand up to her eyes, trying to figure out what it was. It was then that she smelled the distinct scent of metallic. She stood up quickly to look at the forming puddle at her feet, it was Costia’s blood. She stared at it, trying to process how much potential blood there was, when she realized how quiet it had become. When did she stop screaming?

Panic enveloped Lexa once again as she took a step back, and ran at the door, hitting it with her foot. She felt the door bounce back, giving a little as her attempt to place her full weight on it increased. She reared back once more, and aimed her foot at where the latch would be; the sound of the wood splintering gave her renewed energy as she wielded back once more. 

She burst through the door into the room and took in her surroundings quickly. Two small torches hung on the walls opposite her, casting a low glow across the room. In the middle, was a slumped over form, where the shrieks were coming from. 

“Costia, I’m here!” Lexa breathed out, running towards the draped body on the floor, she pawed helplessly at the layers of clothing that were surrounding the figure, trying to discern top from bottom. “Where are you?” she cried out desperately “speak to me Costia!”

“I’m here Lexa.” came the calm reply. But not, not from the body that Lexa was searching. It took a moment for her brain to catch up as she realized the sound came from the other side of the body she was hovered over. Lexa leaned over the body, trying to find her, confusion tore at her mind as she tried to understand what was happening. “I am here.” came the response once more from a small basket, Lexa’s blood ran cold at the realization. “Why didn’t you hurry? Why didn’t you save me?” Costia’s disembodied head asked her, stared back at her waiting for a response. 

“I tried! I tried Costia!” she tried to yell, but her voice was suddenly hoarse from unshed tears. She felt bile rise in her throat at the realization that she was to late, she was not strong enough to save her. “We can fix this” she begged, “I will fix this!” 

Costia’s accusatory eyes stared back at her, “You were to late! You were not strong enough!” Lexa felt as if the room was crashing down around her, she tried to speak, to make sense of the situation, but she could barely breath. “YOU LET ME DIE!” 

“No” she whispered out desperately, “Costia please! Come back to me!”. The body started to rise, and warm red sticky liquid oozed out of it, covering Lexa as she sat there watching the body move towards her, begin to attack her. She initially attempted to fight it off, but Costia’s body, her voice screaming at her; she couldn’t fight back, couldn’t raise a hand against her lover. 

“You were not strong enough Lexa! You let me die!” she repeated over and over again, her voice rising with each repetition. “It’s your fault Lexa! We all died because of you!” The headless body began striking her harder, ripping at her clothes and tearing at her flesh as she struggled to get out from under its hold. “We died because you were afraid!”

“NO!” Lexa wailed, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I tried!” she screamed back, bile once again threatening to erupt from her due to the mixture of emotion and fear. 

“I died because of you!” Costia screamed at her, the sound drowning out her own voice, her thoughts, her ability to move or counter the attacking form above her. 

“NOOOO!” Lexa screamed again, trying to drown out Costia’s accusations, “Please!” she begged, “please stop!”. She needed to stop her from telling her the truth she already knew, the truth she was constantly running from. 

She screamed until her throat felt raw as she sat up, tearing at her own blood stained clothes, ripping at her own flesh; desperately wanting to get Costia’s blood off of her, get her voice out of her head. 

“Lexa!” a new voice cut through the fog of sound that had enveloped her, “Lexa stop!” She felt warm hands pressing down on her, felt light shining through the dark room that had been surrounding her. “Open your eyes!” the voice commanded her. 

Lexa struggled against the hands that were holding her down, still screaming her opposition to the ringing sound of Costia’s words as she struggled to open her eyes and focus on what was happening around her. Lexa felt a hand softly caress her face, trying to calm her down as the same voice cued gentle coaxing words to her. She leaned in to the gentle caress and allowed her eyes to focus on the world around her again. 

“You are safe, Heda.” The voice whispered again and again to her, wiping the sweat from her brow as she she came into view. Lexa stared wide-eyed at Anya, blinking through the realization that she was indeed safe. She must have ran to her room upon hearing her screams again. “Costia’s soul reaches out to you again?” she asked quietly, already knowing the response. 

Lexa nodded mutely, feeling the numbness of realization hit her. She stared blankly at the wall, remembering how it felt to fight her lovers body; remembering how it felt to hear her screams of torment and pain. She shivered reflexively at the memory of the cold fear that had enveloped her in her nightmare. 

Anya sighed at her reaction, she pulled her forward so their foreheads touched and Lexa closed her eyes at the intimate gesture. Letting her body relax as she forced her breathing to slow down and match Anya. “You cannot continue to let the dead haunt you. You must be strong now, Lexa.” She whispered to her softly, letting the words still the room. “You have a war to win, people to lead. You can avenge her death after you bring the Azgeda (Ice Nation) down. ” 

“Her murder.” Lexa corrected her, “Because of ME!” she hissed out through clenched teeth, feeling the tears threaten to fall again. 

Anya pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes once more, “You were not fully Heda then, you were still Lexa of the Trikru.” She reminded her, “You were weak, young.” Lexa nodded remembering, it felt like a lifetime ago when she was just 15. She wiped away an errant tear that had managed to sneak out of Lexa’s left eye. “You cannot be that girl anymore”, she smiled as Lexa matched her gaze, “You do not have the luxury of mourning the dead, no matter how much they call for you. You are Heda now, and you must be strong.” 

Anya held her face in her hands, waiting for Lexa to get herself together. “What if…” Lexa begins to ask, doubt written plainly on her face, before she is cut off by Anya’s finger on her lips. 

“No one can see you as weak. Mask your emotions Lexa, just like you were taught. “Hodnes…” (Love), she paused before reciting the familiar phrase, “laik kwelnes” (is a weakness), one that Heda cannot afford.” She watched patiently as Lexa grit her teeth and and narrowed her eyes, relaxing her face and hiding any feeling she may have behind the carefully constructed facade. “You do not have the luxury to feel.” she whispered, bringing their foreheads together again, “You are Heda. You must always be strong.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized how close the Season 3 premier is. I had hoped to have this wrapped up before then, but looking at what I have pre-written, that might not happen. So I am going to bump up my chapter postings to twice a week to see how close I can get to having this done before-hand. Part of the reason is that I don't have the ending fully finished, and I don't want what happens in season 3 to cloud this particular storyline! I am shooting to post on Monday's and Thursdays. 
> 
> Grounder life is all AU, besides Lincoln, we have really only seen how they act/react with Arkers around; life for them is slightly more complex then that. 
> 
> As usual, let me know your thoughts on how this is progressing for you!

~About one year later~

“NODOTAIM!!" (Again!) He roared, pushing her back hard, causing her to stumble. Lexa caught her footing and reared back, her muscles screamed against the movement as her blade crashed into his. The reverberation from the hit was enough to force the steel to bounce back, allowing her just enough time to plant her feet before he swung his blade hard and strong at her head. 

“Gustus!” Lexa yelled, surprised by the force of his attack. “I need a break!” She growled out as he lunged forward, she shed his attack while retreating two steps back, her body putting up her natural guard, without her even processing it. 

“Do you think your enemies would give you breaks?”, he lunged again towards her right side giving Lexa ample time to thwart his blade as she leapt back towards her left; then lunged forward without missing a beat. Her left foot catching his right as she dragged it forward and up. “You get no breaks in war” he grunted as her foot forced his knee to bend, tilting him off balance and nearly toppling him over.

“Good thing I am trying to avoid more wars” Lexa hissed as he swung his arm back and landed a heavy blow squarely at her side. She failed to block the full brunt of the hit, and needed to retreat back a few steps to regain her breath. 

“Even you, as Heda, won’t get very far if you cannot convince this clan that you can lead them in battle.” Gustus puffed out as he dusted himself off, dropping his sword to the ground so both his hands were free, signaling a much needed break was happening, “That you will kill to protect your people”

Lexa rolled her eyes discreetly, sheathing her sword at her side, “Can and will are two different questions, Gostos”, she smirked her response, knowing full well the nuance would irk him. They watched silently as grounders around them practiced fighting, a demonstration of a clans capability. Off to their far right a small group of this clan's leaders were watching her and Gustus, as well critiquing the ensuing arms practice. 

They had been at it for hours, Gustus refusing to back down, each blow was one of full strength and intention. Since Lexa could remember, he was never gentle on her. He was always pushing her harder, using his own brute force to mold her body and mind into the perfect warrior. It did not matter that these exercises were merely for show, he did not know how to do anything unless it was at 100%, it was a quality that she valued in him despite her protests. She knew that his insistence at pushing herself beyond her zone of comfort made her better, stronger, faster. 

She felt a slow bead of sweat move its way down her back, the sudden pause in movement allowed her body to register the timid breeze that was filtering through the valley. Her body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and dirt, causing her clothes and hair to stick to her. She was matted and dirty, exactly how she liked to be. She shuddered slightly at the gentle tickle of sweat as it made its way down her spine. Using the back of her hand she tried her best to move some random strands of hair off her face, but only succeeded in further smudging the mud across her face. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that she would have to bathe and be primped and polished again. She would have to sit still while braids were intricately woven throughout her hair. The was always the worst part, having to sit impassively while random strands of her hair were pulled in all directions. She would much rather be connecting with her people, hearing their stories, helping them as best she could. Maybe no one will notice my absence tonight, she wistfully pondered as she surveyed the mass of bodies around her, there were certainly enough people to get lost in. 

She let her eyes wander proudly across the Grounder army that represented her, this was her personal force that she had spent the last year curating. She knew all of them by name, having fought in the Ice War with many of them. They will continue to travel with her as she spends time at each of the 12 clans homelands. A mission of both good will to enter in a new age of peace; but also strategic in its purpose. She needed the rest of the clans to see how impressive her force was, in hopes that, unlike the Heda’s before her, they would unite with her. Twelve clans under one flag, her flag as Commander, forming the largest Kongeda (coalition) that has existed. 

She bit back a small smile as she watched the youngest of the clan she was visiting learning how to use their own version of weapons to defend themselves. They gave heartfelt warrior yells as their little hands held on to carved sticks, fierce determination stamped on their faces. Warrior training, like any other training, started as soon as a child could stand and hold a weapon. Different clans had different rules and approaches for how they trained their young, but most taught every child how to at the very least defend themselves, then picking the most elite for life long training and to be full time warriors. The pride of most clans.

She watched as one of the smallest struggled to keep the toy sword upright as another child continued to hit it. After a few moments of useless struggle, the small girl dropped the sword and pounced onto the larger boy, knocking him down. 

“I remember when you were that small and fiesty.” Lexa turned slightly, surprised by the intrusion to the gentle silence that had enveloped her. Her eyebrow raised slightly at Indra who nodded back as she approached. What is she doing here? Lexa wondered, her eyebrows knit together in a small scowl.

Gustus huffed lightly, laughing “Heda was never small!” He smirked as Lexa pushed him gently, unable to hold onto the grimace that had formed, “she has always been my big baby” he chuckled some more. His rare playful side came out in private only and Lexa could never help but join in his smile or laughter when it did come out. 

“Hush” Indra scolded him, although Lexa could make out the smallest trace of a smile fighting to break through on Indra’s face; she tried to glare at Gustus who was working on keeping it together, before continuing her point. “I used to have to pull you off of the larger boys to stop you from fighting all of them, so intent on defending some branwoda.” Indra gestured to the small girl who was pumping her fists in triumph at the boy who had curled into a ball and was begging for her mercy. “Then you would infuriate me by telling me you wanted to be a healer, do you remember that?” She glanced at Lexa, who didn’t take her eyes off the group of children.

“I do…” Lexa responded quietly, remembering the tantrums she used to throw when Indra would pull her from working with the healers to continue sparring, then would push her to work harder during sparring practice, accusing her of holding back. “I had seen so much death, I wanted to contribute to peace instead.”

Indra nodded slowly in agreement, “look at the peace you are creating now, as Heda. As our best warrior”. Lexa grimaced slightly at the pride that Indra had in her voice. 

She never wanted the mantel as warrior, she did not want her legacy to be one filled with violence. She had bigger dreams then that, ones that she knew she could not voice openly; even to her closest confidants. “I am what my people need me to be", she responded flatly, "we cannot continue to fight each other if we are to become stronger”.

“You cannot attain peace without war, Heda.” Gustus added, “Your warrior strength has helped mold your dream into a reality.”

“Warrior strength?” Lexa scoffed quietly, “Must we always forget about a healers strength? A teachers strength? The farmers in this very clan? How strong they must be to provide food for so many?” It was a common argument between the two of them. Gustus assigned a higher value for those who valued conflict over resolution, Indra preferred to kill before questioning. She couldn’t blame them, it was their way. It was also why they had so few healers in each village outside the capital, or why the best farmers were from another clan entirely. “Without each other, we are incomplete! Each clan needs the other to advance” Lexa clenched her fists in frustration, turning briefly from the group of children as she surveyed the fighting happening around them. “How can I build a stronger nation if everyone is to busy killing each other?”

Gustus shook his head, drawing her attention, “You have come very far, Heda. You lead the Trikru and the Floukru through the Ice War, ending an impossible war at great sacrifice. You have strengthened the Trikru. Gained alliances through diplomacy instead of conflict, something no other Heda has been able to do. We are starting our second year of touring the 12 clans, and already you have gained much support and alliances for your campaign.” Indra nodded in agreement as Gustus continued, “but do not forget where the strength comes from. For yourself, for the people you lead.” 

Lexa nodded mutely, knowing that there was nothing that could be added. The argument was never ending between them. “My strength Gostos, comes from my people, and the future I see for them.”

Gustus’s patience was wearing thin, he turned to face her, sizing her up before adding: “The war may be over,Leksa; but your fight as Heda is just beginning”. He picked his sword up and walked away, leaving a substantial huff in his wake. 

Lexa watched his retreating form silently, waiting for Indra to also chastise her for speaking out. “You enjoy teasing him far to much” Indra stepped next to her, watching as Gustus pushed a Grounder out of his way. She had a small smile on her face as she watched him leave. Despite being two of her closest confidants, and the closest thing to family that she had left; they had their own intricate relationship with each other that Lexa never fully understood; one steeped in complex competition.

“What brings you here, Indra?” Lexa asked as she turned towards her tent. She was physically exhausted, and she did not want to fight with both of them today. It was hard enough when Gustus was in a grumpy mood, adding Indra to the mix would send her over the edge. 

“I cannot come and see you, one who I raised as my own, without a reason?” Indra asked as she followed along, indignation in her voice. 

Lexa stopped and turned to her, narrowing her eyes to study Indra’s face better. “You, would not come all the way to the Sintaimkru’s territory without reason. You would not leave TonDC just to visit. Speak, so that we both may carry on with our night.” Lexa did not wait for a response, she merely continued walking through the mass of warriors. The light was fading, and she knew there was still a feast to be had before she could fully rest for the night. 

“You are still upset with me then?” Indra asked as they passed through the tent flap. Lexa whirled around, forcing Indra to stop mid-step before she crashed into her. “I merely suggested it would be a good merger! For the good of the clans.” 

Lexa snorted through a muffled laugh, “merely suggested?! One does not merely suggest Heda to merge with another clan leader, Indra! You know better then that! Now there is talk amongst all the clan leaders, all because of a mere suggestion!” 

Indra shrugged her shoulders, an uncharacteristic move for her, “we need a way to move past the Ice War, Leksa. Do not punish the whole clan for the actions of its leader. You merging with the Azgeda’s clan leader would cement long term peace.” 

“I will NOT merge with the person who murdered Costia!” Lexa whirled around, trying to contain her anger. How could she even think this was a possibility? Lexa seethed at the mere suggestion that she spend even a moment with that monster. It was through sheer will and manipulation that Lexa did not destroy her with her own hands herself when the Azgeda clan fell at her armies feet. 

“I would not ask you to!” Indra snapped back. Lexa turned, her mouth open with the angry rant dying at her lips. “This is what I came to tell you. The Ice queen has been removed from power in response to the demands of her people. There will be a new leader of the Azgeda’s. I have come with a heavy heart in hope of arranging a merger between the two of you, to take place in two years time, when the leader will have been chosen, and has had time to lead.” Indra handed her a parchment she had been holding, falling silent as Lexa quickly glanced over the proclamation. 

Lexa rolled her eyes and shook her head. She fell onto her throne before eyeing Indra again, “Just came to visit me, hm?” She pinched the bridge of her nose, squinting her eyes shut as she tried to maintain her composure. “I suppose..." she breathed through the end of the sentence, "I get no say in this?”

Indra nodded slowly for a moment, appearing to weight her words carefully. “I remember when your parents died. You were so small, so young.” Indra sighed wistfully, “I saw a great spirit in you Leksa, a great warrior that would one day lead not just TonDC in my place, but the Trikru. Do not forget that you were Anya’s second for a reason!" Indra kneeled at her thrones side, gently lifted Lexa's head up to meet her eyes. Despite herself, Lexa felt her anger thaw slightly as she the genuineness on her face. "And yet you would fight me constantly, because you did not want that same pain that you felt at your parents death to be felt by anyone else.” 

Lexa turned away, not wanting to remember the suffering she had felt at their deaths and the loneliness that had since followed her. She focused her eyes on an object across the room, practicing her breathing, a coping mechanism she had learned to control her emotions, before turning her attention back to Indra, who quietly watched and waited. “It is good that you did not listen to the delusions of a child”, Lexa quietly responded.

“When the spirit of Heda chose you, Leksa, I had no doubt that you would be amazing.” Indra paused unexpectedly, Lexa looked up to see emotion written plainly on her face. She swallowed dryly a few times, not accustomed to seeing Indra so emotionally exposed. “But, I also mourned for you. For the life that I had hoped for you. To find love, to be free to choose. To follow your head, or your heart, or whatever path you wanted.” 

Lexa nodded, knowing what she meant, “as Heda, I do not get the privilege of love.” she whispered.

“As leader of the Trikru, Leksa could have chosen love. As commander, Heda does not have that luxury.” Indra stood to leave, pausing briefly at the entrance of the tent before leaving, “The spirit has chosen you for a reason, Leksa. You are going to achieve many great things. But Heda must always do what is best for her people, before she can do what is right for her.”

Lexa watched her leave, staring at the entrance for a few moments before turning her attention to the parchment that she was left with. She crumbled it up as best she could and threw it aimlessly, disgusted at the proposition. She would figure out another way before she would allow herself to give the Azgeda power once more. It was not the idea of an arranged merger that bothered her, deep down she knew that she would end up with some stranger, uniting for strategy and not love or passion. But with the Azgeda? They had caused enough damage to the coalition, and to herself. 

She walked to her water basin and scooped up cool water in her hands, cleaning the day off her face and neck. She stepped out of her tent, taking a few deep breaths of fresh air. The sun had set and she could hear that the preparations were under way for a commemorative feast to take place. She emerged cleaner then she was before, although she still felt like she carried the grime with her. She walked slowly towards the outskirts of camp, venturing near the tree line to get some distance between her and the camp.

She looked over the tents, lit by numerous camp fires. Despite the days heat, the night brought on a cooler air that made the fires just enough to make sleeping out in the open comfortable. She felt her shoulders instinctually un-tense, out in the dark void, she could relax and take a step away from being Commander. The heavy weight of responsibility being a constant burden that sometimes made her feel like she was suffocating; of having to always have the answers, having to constantly be vigilant. Out here, in the darkness, she could breath. 

Lexa let out a deep breath, as she surveyed the land and sky around her. Perhaps the God’s had a different plan, Lexa mused to herself, letting her eyes and thoughts wander to the stars in the sky above. She knew that she should find complete fulfillment in her people and their journey, but her heart yearned for more. Perhaps the stars or the Gods could provide the answers that she seemed to lack. Lexa silently pleaded the stars to answer her, for some kind of hope, somewhere high above her a particularly bright star winked at her in response.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time Jump! One more chapter and we should be in more familiar territory. 
> 
> I am compressing a few chapters together to make posts more efficient and to move through the story quicker. I do not think ALL chapters will be this long, and hopefully you don't find them to tedious. 
> 
> Hopefully you are looking forward to some nice slow burn with Clexa, and some tie in's with the rest of the Sky and Grounder crew! 
> 
> Thoughts are always appreciated, Kudos and comments warm my Grinch heart!

2 years later

She watched from her chair, as her generals argued back and forth. She listened to passioned pleas arguing their point shouting over each others voices. Shifting uncomfortably on her throne again, she struggled for her body to find a comfortable position despite having spent the morning in contemplative silence in preparation for the meeting. Her new attendant had offered to assist in freshening her up prior to hearing each of her generals views and making a decision on this new threat that had appeared. The freshly done braids were tighter then usual, they pulled at her roots, distracting her slightly as she fought the urge to rip apart the intricate design that was done. This coupled with the shouting in the small space made it especially hard for her to calm her body and mind down enough to sit still. 

“Osir beda kill em hogeda! (We should kill them all!)”

“Osir beda scout em first, learn chon emo laik (We should scout them first, learn who they are).”

“Emo laik maun men! emo beda die! (They are mountain men! They should die!)”

“Osir could learn kom em (We could learn from them).”

Her head spun as the voices swelled in the small space. She closed her eyes briefly, allowing herself to try and hear the loudest of the chants. Murder, kill, destroy, save, help. 

One voice above the others reached her ears. She was not yelling to be heard, she was not pushing her weight around. She merely gave her statement above the roar. “They burned your village. They attacked your people. They must learn, Heda” 

Anya stared directly at her, ignoring the buzz of emotion that was happening around them and waited for her reaction. She did not want another war. Another enemy. They were struggling as is against the Maunon (mountain), and now another enemy has taken space on her land. She had formed the strongest coalition of clans; but that still didn't feel like it was enough against the Maunon. 

She put her hand up and waited as the room quieted down. She scanned the room and looked at the expecting faces all waiting for her decision, her face solid, not revealing any emotion. Long hours of practiced concentration had turned brash ideals into careful confidence projecting in each decision she made, cementing in the minds of others her ability to lead. More then anything since becoming Heda, she had learned the danger of under-estimating the situation she was in. Turning her attention to Anya she weighed which questions she should start with “Onya, How many did your scout see?” 

“Their force is small, less then 100, Heda. We have counted at least 10 graves, they do not know how to survive.” Anya responded cooly, smirking as she talked. Lexa narrowed her eyes for a moment, not liking how brash Anya was about the whole matter. She should know better then to take clan size as the only consideration when evaluating strength. "We tried to negotiate terms, but they attacked us before we could agree on anything." 

“It would take such a small force to destroy them, we could do it quickly.” A young girl to Anya’s left spoke up out of turn. She was rewarded with a small glare from her first as she shirked back down, grabbing the tips of her braids in a desperate attempt to hide her nervousness. This is why I do not like seconds to be in these conversations, Lexa thought to herself, glaring at the young girl.

“We cannot afford to run in blindly”, Lexa bit back at her, unhappy with the young girls response. Being blood thirsty was a sign of youth; she had much to learn as Anya’s second. "They are clearly impulsive in their actions. Making them hard to predict or understand and incredibly dangerous.”

"Heda," Tristan stepped forward from the group, "allow me the honor of taking my force and getting rid of these vermin once and for all."

Anya visibly bristled at his statement, "you dare to encroach upon my clans land?" 

"How can we even trust this information?" Tristan bit back.

Anya bristled at his accusation, "You will pay for your..." 

"Do you think such an empty threat means anything to me?" Tristan cut her off, "This is not a trivial matter!" Tristan spit out in her direction, though he didn't turn to face her. Anya reached for her sword, making it two steps before her second was able to stop her from attacking Tristan, who already had his blade out as well.

"Daun ste pleni! Both of you!" (That is enough), Lexa called out, silencing the room once again, the two shocked into a silent pout at being called out. She weighed her options before speaking up again, “you have a prisoner still?” 

“Ja, Heda” Anya offered a small nod in response “he is weak and has given us much information with minimal work”. 

“Send him back” Lexa nodded, pulling her dagger out and began playing with it absentmindedly, a habit she had developed as a form of concentration. Something about the warmth of the wooden handle, and the coolness of the blade helped her feel centered despite anything else going on around her. 

“Heda?! We cannot!” a cacophony of noise enveloped her again as protests rang out from everyone in the room. 

Lexa raised her hand waiting once more for the room to fall silent once again, “send him back, with the sickness”, she raised an eyebrow as recognition fell upon them. “Onya, prepare your gonakru (warriors), you will leave tomorrow at dawn.” She surveyed the room of generals, “den oso na zoo raun mom trikova, pas daun kwelnes (then we strike from the shadows, when they are weakest)” she added to the room as nods of appreciation came her way. “I want to speak to their leader, or any survivor’s that are left.”

“Heda, we should eradicate them all!” Anya interjected, “They must pay for their transgressions!”

“They will pay, jus drein, jus daun! (blood must have blood!)”. Lexa replied quickly, “I need to know what we are dealing with if more are to come. We must understand this clan and know if they are maun men, or something else.”

With that, she waved them off, having given them the verdict they were looking for. She knew it was a combination of fear of the unknown enemy and territorial protectiveness that caused them to demand blood first. It was the way of the Trikru to react first and ask questions later. The room emptied of all but Anya, who stood waiting for her commanders orders. 

“Why did you not tell me of their aggression sooner?” Lexa eyed her 

“I had it handled, Heda” Anya shifted from one foot to the other nervously, “I did not think it was worth bothering you.”

Lexa raised her eyebrow at the statement. “You are growing sloppy Onya, I am still your Commander and expect to be informed of all movements in my territory.” Anya nodded mutely, clasping her hands in front of her and bowing her head in respect. 

Lexa put her dagger back on her side as she stood from her seat. She crossed the room and gently took Anya’s hands in her own. Leaning forward, they met their foreheads in silence, their customary greeting. “It is good to see you.” Anya whispered quietly, Lexa merely nodded, allowing the silence to be her response.

“How is your second coming along?” Lexa asked as she separated herself from Anya and walked towards a table full of maps and scrolls. “She speaks before thinking.”

Anya rolled her eyes slightly, “she has the spirit of her people, and has proven herself many times in battle.” She watched as Lexa’s eyes wrinkle slightly at the information, but does not get any other response. To many battles, Lexa muses to herself, staring blankly at the table.

“She is too blood thirsty” Lexa finally responds, picking up a scroll absentmindedly. 

“That is the way of our people, Heda.” Anya bit back, “we do not show weakness. Jus drein..”

“Jus daun” Lexa answered for her, sighing softly. “I want more for our people Onya. I want peace.” She put the scroll back down and paused for a moment before turning to face Anya fully. “This coalition will not stand much longer if we do not make headway against the Maunon. I cannot have more people, my people, continue to sacrifice themselves. There must be a better way.” 

Anya shook her head softly before responding, “Don gaf branwoda, strisis.” (Don’t be stupid, little sister)

Lexa looked up shocked at her response “Ai don gaf sen em in!” (I don’t need to hear it!) Lexa bit back, “watch your tongue!” She added as Anya put her hand up.

“Shof op, strisis.” (Be quiet, little sister) Lexa held back her tongue, waiting for Anya to finish. “You have come a long way since you were my second. You are no longer the girl I knew who had to much uncontrolled spirit. But you must stay strong to keep our people united. Without you, there is no coalition.” Lexa nodded her understanding as they both fell silent again. 

“The sky lit up again last night” she stated flatly. 

“Ja Heda” came the soft reply, “the Goddess causes fire in the night sky. A warning perhaps?" 

Lexa nodded slowly, bowing her head; By the Gods, Lexa thought to herself, what more could rain down? She turned to Anya, “More will come Onya. We must be ready for them.” 

"I will not let you down again" Anya responded quickly, knowing what Lexa needed to hear, “I will make sure you have nothing to worry about, you made the right choice sending me in.” 

“Tristan is still bitter that you beat his son. But do not mistake my faith in you as permission or forgiveness for your behavior. Prove him wrong, Onya, and regain my trust and faith in you.” Anya nodded mutely, giving Lexa time to processing what might need to happen next.

“I hope I am not disturbing you Heda?” a voice announced itself from the entrance of the tent. Lexa snapped her head up, ready to punish whoever had interrupted her work, but quickly stopped herself from saying anything. “I saw all the generals leaving, and thought this might be a good time to announce myself.” 

“Echo” Lexa grimaced inwardly at her arrival. “What brings you this far south?” 

Echo nodded curtly to both Lexa and Anya as she stepped further into the room. “I thought it was time I came to see how things were progressing with the Maunon, I need something to report back on where our men are disappearing to.”

Lexa bristled at the statement, yes they have not made very much headway against the Mountain, but to come and check on progress was to come and question her capabilities as commander. “Echo, have you met Anya? She is going to lead a new assault against a group we think may be associated with the Maunon”, Lexa changed the subject, grateful for Anya’s existence in the room. 

Anya nodded and extended her arm out, to which Echo walked past to approach Lexa. “I am not interested in new threats, Heda. I need to know how you plan on getting my people back!”

“Our people.” Lexa corrected her, not budging an inch. “WE are a coalition now, Echo. It is our people that are facing the Maunon threat together, not just your people anymore.” 

Echo took a deep breath, seeming to steady herself slightly, she turned and smiled warmly at Anya, “I would like to see this new threat, may I join you in your approach?”

Anya quickly glanced at Lexa, waiting to see what she should respond. Lexa nodded once, keeping her eyes trained on Echo, what is she planning to do now? she wondered. “Ja, it would be an honor to have you join my force” Anya answered hesitantly. 

Echo shook her head, smiling softly, “I will not be joining your force, merely staying on the sidelines to see what you are dealing with. Consider me an impartial observer.” She offered back, “An envoy from the Azgeda”.

“There is nothing impartial about you, Echo” Lexa laughed at the audacity of the statement. “Is there anything else you might need before you are on your way?” 

Echo turned to face her and closed the distance between them, she lowered her voice to just above a whisper, “about the merger…” 

Lexa put her hand up, stopping her mid sentence, “This is not the appropriate time or place to discuss terms, Echo.”

“It doesn't have to happen, you know” She offered, moving back towards the door, “There is still time for us to discuss a different solution. One that could benefit both of us.” 

Lexa shook her head, “you know that I do not have that option. What is done is done, unless the legends come true and a better answer falls from the sky, nothing can change what has been put into place; it will go forward as planned once the Mountain falls”. 

She nodded her head resolutely, “then we are trapped”. With that she left them alone in the tent, both staring at the tent flap and her departure. 

“Heda…I…” Anya started to say something, before Lexa cut her off, nodding her head. 

"Is he here?" Lexa crossed to her throne, taking a seat once more and letting her head fall to her hand, rubbing the bridge of her nose absentmindedly.

"Ja, Heda." Anya walked toward the tents entrance, "I will get him for you." She exited quickly as Lexa called out for an attendant to bring some food and drink to her tent while she waited. Anya returned a few moments later along with the food. 

Lexa watched as a Grounder confidently walked in and knelt at the foot of her throne, she fought the urge to roll her eyes at the formal gesture, which looked awkward coming from someone like him. "Linkon, it is good to see you again, dear friend".

Lincoln smiled warmly as he stood, "It is an honor to be called to serve you, Heda." Lexa’s wandered up and down his strong frame, appraising him briefly. She noted new wounds, his hand was of particular concern to her, as he kept is shielded. She could see he was carrying himself differently, how much damage did they do to him?, she thought to herself.

"I have been told that you have spent time with the Skaïkru." She watched him nod slowly, tentatively before she continued, "tell me what you have learned of them." She reclined in her chair, and waited for him to find the words to begin.

Lincoln looked down and away briefly, "they are...not the best warriors". He quietly murmured, giving Anya a side eyed glance. 

This quick glance was not lost on Lexa, she knew that Lincoln would not speak freely as long as his clan leader was here, "Onya, leave us." She watched her nod quietly, then leave quickly without a word. 

Lincoln’s shoulders dropped briefly as they were left alone. She stood and crossed the space, extending her arm out, letting Lincoln grasp her forearm in a Trikru greeting; he relaxed into the familial warm welcome. “Speak to me not as your commander, but as your friend” Lexa directed as she released his arm. Lexa pointed to a chair that was near a table with the food on it, directing him to sit. He silently reached for the chair, trying to force his body not to betray him, but Lexa could easily spot the stiffness in his movements. He sat and raised his eyes at her, expectantly. 

“You are still living outside of your clan?” She asked quietly, pulling another chair out to join him.

“Ja, Heda”, He answered, glancing away once again. He was his clan’s best healer, but he had chosen years ago to leave his primary village and live outside the clan structure after his mother had passed on. Lexa knew that it was easier for him to live alone in isolation then to try and conform to what his clan, and his father, expected of him. She envied that about him, his ability to walk away from those expectations and live the kind of life he wanted. He kept his people first, but he also lived a life that allowed him to not have to bow to the demands of warrior life. 

“Linkon. I have heard…” Lexa paused, trying to pick her words carefully, “disturbing reports about your behavior.” She watched his reaction, looking for minute details that would give away his thoughts or feelings on the matter. Like any good warrior he had been trained as she had to mask away anything that could give away information. Enough time spent staring at each other, and Lexa and Lincoln could read each other fairly well.   
“You are…protective of the Skaïkru.” Lexa stated flatly. Both knew it was not a question, but Lincoln nodded once in confirmation, allowing her to continue. We are not that different, you and I, Lexa mused to herself, we have always wanted the choice to take different paths in our lives. She reached for a plate of food and offered it to Lincoln, who took it and waited for her to take a bite of her own before digging in himself. They ate in comfortable silence for a moment. Breaking bread before discussing sensitive or important terms was a tradition that Lexa enjoyed best. “Tell me the story once again”, Lexa asked between bites. 

Lincoln paused a moment mid-bite, “I would think you have grown tired of that story.” 

“It’s a good story” Lexa replied smiling.

Reclining back in his chair, Lincoln folded his arms across his chest before continuing, “there is a legend in my village, of a great man of strength and power; who united waring clans and freed many people; who’s spirit would come back when the time was right to once again bring peace upon the clans. He was a fierce warrior who made difficult decision to keep his people together. He lead and won a violent war, where many lives were lost, and became a legendary commander. He was such an incredible warrior that he could destroy people with merely his gaze.” Lincoln took a bite of an apple, chewing reflectively before continuing, “our teachers speak of his great works and the impact he had. How strong his spirit was to bring hope to so many who had lost it; he brought a great peace to his people as a mediator and a warrior, the statue that outline’s our village were built in his honor.” 

Lexa grimaced at the abbreviated version of the story that Lincoln was telling, “it was his spirit that your father hoped you would take.” 

Lincoln nodded, “it is his greatest disappointment that I do not live up to my namesake.” 

“You have told me that this man of Lincoln, he was not just a warrior?” Lincoln nodded as she continued, “I believe you follow in his spirit more then your father realizes” Lexa offered, pushing the plate away from her, “you are the uniter, the healer, the pacifist that our people need, Linkon. It is this insight that I need from you now.”

He leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on his knees, “It is my pleasure to serve you Heda, in any way I can.”

“I have always valued your insight, you see things that others do not. You understand the value of life, despite our people’s insistence on death.” Lexa looked away, trying to chose her words carefully. “Tell me then, what value do you see in a clan that attacks your own people?”

“They are not warriors, Heda” Lincoln repeated again, rubbing his face in exasperation. 

“Who is their leader then? Surely they have someone who can be reasoned with?” Lexa pushed.

“I do not think they do. They are disorganized, fighting amongst themselves for simple decisions, they have no tactics, no real shelter. It is like they arrived unprepared for survival, there is one that is loud and aggressive, they call him Belomi, he is violent with no plan or forethought and makes decisions that are based on his emotions, I believe he leads them the most…” Lincoln trailed off, losing himself in thought for a moment. 

“But?” Lexa pushed, knowing there was something he was holding back.

Lincoln met her eyes, smiling slightly before continuing; “they are also smart, compassionate, and resourceful.” He pulls out his notebook from under his jacket and opens to a well worn page, “they have taken this metal structure and built a wall around it. It surrounds them totally but easy to penetrate. They also have another plangona (woman warrior), they call her Prenses, I believe she can be reasoned with” He points to a picture on the page of the grounder camp, before flipping it over to show another image, he gently caresses the image on the page before continuing to the next page, “I have tried to count their weapons, and their provisions. They do not leave their camp very often and I worry that they are unprepared for…”

Lexa placed her hand on his forearm, stopping his train of thought, “who is she?” She points to the drawing on the previous page.

He blushed briefly, covering his mouth with his hand before responding, “she is call Okteivia.” he answers quietly.

Lexa stared at the image on the page. They did not look that different from them, her features were so similar; with some war paint and braids, she could easily pass as one of their own. “You care for her?” she asked, turning the book back towards him. 

He nodded without turning his eyes from the page, “I believe that there is much that we can learn from them” Lincoln responded passionately, pointing at the image in his book “and they from us, if we only gave them a chance…” 

“You know that I cannot let them get away with their transgressions!” Lexa responded quickly, waving him off briefly. “Our people will demand retribution.”

“Retribution, yes! But massacring them?” Lincoln pressed.

Lexa sighed deeply, feeling the weariness in her bones, “It is out of my hands” she responded, hating to see the dejected look on his face. She watched as he hung his head in his hands. Why is there never a better option? Lexa wondered to herself. 

“I cannot just…” Lincoln paused searching for the right words, “let her die.” He hung his head slowly, crumbling the book in his hand. 

“I must do what is best for my people, for your people, Linkon” she answered softly “and you know what would happen if you warn her, them of the attack. Our people will not understand your behavior or your intentions. He nodded without looking up, his shoulders sagging under the immense weight of what he knew was going to happen. “Go.” She commanded quietly. 

Lincoln snapped his head up, his eyes wide with confusion, “Heda?”

“Go.” Lexa stood up, pushing the chair out from under her, and crossing the room to grab an empty bag of hers, she waited for Lincoln to match her. “Save her, Linkon.” She thrust the bag into his hands, “Run, Linkon. Go see Luna, she will help you in a way that I cannot.” Lincoln took the bag from her hands, confusion written plainly on his face. “I cannot stop the oncoming attack, you know that as Heda, I must carry out our laws; those people will die.” Lexa crossed the room towards the entrance, dragging him along with her. 

“My people…?” Lincoln began protesting, pulling back from her slightly.

“Your people will believe that you deserted them.” Lexa stopped turning towards him, “only you can decide what is important to you. You can either stay and fight with your people, or you can take her and run.” 

Lincoln stared at her, his breath coming out uneven as adrenaline was coursing through him. She could practically feel his pulse bounding off of him even as his features did not reveal anything differently. She waited for him, to decide, to do something that she could never do. She held her breath and watch his eyes, seeing him decide on a course of action. She nodded and pushed him out the tent entrance, “Ste klir, lukot” (be safe, friend), she whispered more to herself then to him, as he was already running at full speed into the woods and out of earshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is interested, I am creating a playlist to go along with this story that I will be updating and curating as it moves along. You can find it on Spotify:  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/valissa7/playlist/57hYjHD3lZc862H7PeyKu0


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major apologies for the delay in posting! I was traveling through Mexico and had really terrible internet connection for the majority of the time, I kept trying to post, but I could never get the connection stable enough to get it to work. 
> 
> I will be back to posting regularly, maybe an extra chapter or two to catch up from the last 2 weeks.

“HEDA!” 

Lexa awoke with a start, “What now?” she growled out as she quickly pulled the fur pelt off her and made it to the door of her tent before her name was called again. She had barely attempted to lie down before she was being dragged out again to deal with another matter. Her patience was wearing painfully thin lately. 

“Chek au Heda!” a women pointed towards a far off valley in urgency, hopping up and down with the action, she looked like an impatient child.

She looked in the direction that the women was pointing as a large grey cloud rose up from the tree line. She squinted at it, trying to discern the sky from the growing cloud, how far away from camp is this? She thought to herself, trying to figure out the distance in her head. There was no sound, no rumble; what could make such a cloud?

Warriors around her began to run in all directions pointing at the rising cloud, excitedly calling each other to arms. Some grabbed weapons, others ushered their family to their tents, while others still excitedly chanted and pointed; knowing that such a sight could only mean one thing for them. “Chil au” she cried out at the mass chaos that had erupted around her. Pointing at a group that had grabbed their weapons in preparation to run out and join the expected fight in the far distance, “chil daun!” she growled out, stopping everyones action immediately. Her pulse raced as she fought to keep her mask on. Onya was out there, whatever made that cloud was where she and the people she sent with her would be. She could only assume the cause came from one place, was done being gentle with these Skaïkru. 

Her mind ran with possibilities of what it could be, They burn villages with their fire, leaving children with no home; they enter my territory and attack with no provocation, they attack at a peace meeting that they requested; and now this?! Could this be the mountain? Have they grown so bold? 

Every act was one of war. Every action was one that Lexa could not take lightly. They were an unknown enemy, and one that showed no fear. She had a duty to protect her people, and right now she was not fulfilling her duty very well. Her people were being captured and turned into Reapers or worse, and now they were being blown up. She turned slightly to her left, never taking her eyes off the growing cloud, “Trestan", she called out, knowing he wouldn't be far after such a cloud had appeared. She waited for his reply before turning to him, "send your scouts, find out what happened. Do not come back until you have answers.”

He merely nodded his understanding and turned shouting orders at his men, stirring action back to life around her. She glared at the cloud, they will pay for their transgressions, they will pay dearly. 

She turned and entered her tent, blood pumping through her veins causing her adrenalin to course through her body. Fury coursing its way as realization hit that a small group of Skaïkru were besting one of her own, one that she had put faith in to in a room full of generals. Faith that may see her tenure as Heda seriously tested. 

In the privacy of her tent, she allowed herself to feel a moment of fear for what was happening. A cold shiver worked its way down her spine as she ran her hands through her hair. It had been less then a moon cycle since the sky had opened up and dropped people down. Her people had been careful, sending scouts out to watch their actions, learn about this new threat. The reports that came back gave the impression that they were children, lost in the forrest. They did not know how to take care of themselves, they were savage and delirious. 

And yet, at every turn they defy and destroy. She had been warned to late, brought into the conversation after a village had been destroyed. Any chance of approaching this clan as a potential ally had evaporated. Any chance of learning who they were before engaging in a war with them was gone. They were now an enemy of her people, and must be dealt with in the harshest of terms. 

Despite the reports of them being uncouth, she had been weary. If they were the first of the Maunon to live on the surface, if somehow they were working together; she knew they would be more dangerous then anyone was giving them credit for. And yet, they came from the sky and not the ground; there were legends that gave her hope that they were more then what they appeared. 

But those were stories, passed done from generation to generation; meant to instill some kind of disillusioned hope. Even if she wanted to believe, she couldn’t afford to risk her people for some silly hope that this Skaïkru would come down, blessed by the Goddess herself, from the sky to help them. How many generations now had hoped, had waited, had patiently watched the sky's for some kind of answer? How many Heda's before had sacrificed in the hopes that the sky would open up and return to them the people from their clans?

Linkon had come with talk of peace and hope, even after they had burned down a village. She was intrigued, what kind of clan does an act of war and then demands peace? Onya insisted that it meant they were weak and demanded to go. She trusted her to handle the matter, seek terms of peace and come back with answers. She should have known better, Onya was thirsty and impatient, she was making reckless decisions without consulting her. Now she found herself at the brink of yet another war, with an unpredictable enemy. They could not fight both the Maunon and this new clan, her people were disappearing, dying. Something needed to give. 

Nearly a day later she was still pacing in her tent waiting for answers. “Heda!” a young scout ran into her tent without stopping to announce himself, he quickly dropped to the ground and dropped his head at the realization and waited for Lexa's reaction, her personal guard running in after him a moment to late. 

Lexa glared at the guard, “Your news better be good” she snarled her response, barely keeping her anger in check, she had thought through every possible scenario in her mind over the last few hours. Her concern growing exponentially with each passing minute, the worry mixed with fear became anger. Anger was the hardest emotion for her to contain and control, for her people to contain and control. And because of this, anger was the one emotion her people had grown to respect and fear. It was anger that both saved her people, and caused the largest problems. 

“Ja Heda!” she could see him debate if he should stand or remain down on the ground, her guard standing behind him, ready to defend her at a moments notice “the cloud is a result of the the bridge we cross at being destroyed! Somehow they knew we were coming. They have bombs that took it out,” He responded quickly without looking up. “the whole area is destroyed, and at present uncrossable”.

Lexa roared, “how is this good news?!” In a moment of blind fury she flipped the nearest table sending all of the contents that were on it flying across the tent. Lincoln! He must have warned the whole clan. Has he really betrayed her instead of just running off with this love?" Lexa fumed at the possibility of betrayal. She hoped that he would not have been so foolish. 

“Well…we…we lost very few Heda" he stammered and squeezed through his response, his eyes wide with fear. "Al-already they are working on a way to cross again, we should be able to continue in a days time.” He stumbled through, backing up slowing, trying to inch his way towards her tents entrance. 

“Bring me Trestan” she growled out as she attempted to calm her features. After a deep breath, her fists shook as she barely contained her fury, the only giveaway left to her explosive emotion. She watched him run out, calling for Trestan as he ran. This was unacceptable behavior, and she knew that; but no one would fault her for showing aggression right now. 

A moment later, he entered her tent, head bowed in reserved restraint. “Heda” he stated quietly, waiting for orders. 

“Trestan, it appears Onya has failed in her duties.” Lexa took a deep breath and felt herself calm down further as the oxygen flowed freely into her lungs, she didn't miss the smirk that appeared on his face at the news, however. “I need you to take command of the situation. Take your warriors, add them to her numbers” he nods his approval turning to leave. She reaches up and grabs his shoulder forcing him to stop and turn around, “Bring me back a trophy of their sacrifice. Make them pay.”

“Ja Heda, ai badan yu op en nou moun (Yes Heda, I serve you and no other)” He answered before turning and leaving, she recognized the same look of fury in his eyes that she knew was in hers. 

She nodded blankly at his response, turning to survey the mess she had made as he left. She heard the soft ruffle of her tent flap opening a moment later, but didn't bother to turn. “Heda” came the soft voice, “may I clean this mess for you?” 

Lexa nodded mutely as she moved to her chair, and a young attendant came in. She was frustrated with herself for losing control. She knew better then to let her emotions control her actions. She let her anger get ahold of her to quickly today, let her mask fall in front of another. She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the beginnings of head pain taking hold of her again. She closed her eyes at the sound of the table being turned upright, she needed to think in silence. “Can you bring me some thing for my head pain, please.” She asked without opening her eyes. 

“Ja Heda” came the soft response, followed by the flap of her tent being opened. She sighed softly, she missed her home in Polis. She had spent to many summer months visiting the camps of her people and gathering oaths for her army. It was long and tedious work that required her diplomacy skills as a commander to be utilized to their fullest. Her only pleasure came at seeing the 12 nations coming together, trade routes being established and talks of a potential everlasting peace at the end of this war campaign. But it wore her down, she longed for the days when she could enjoy some of this hard fought work. When she could rejoice with her people, and there was no unknown threat to dismantle her work. 

She got up and walked over to survey the mess she had made. Leaning down, she picked up a small necklace that had fallen furthest from the rest of the contents. She stared at the small pendent, emotion welling in her chest. “Costia” she whispered softly. 

It was in these moments that she felt most alone, and most responsible for her people. She alone carried the burden of Heda, she alone knew what was at stake if the coalition fell apart. For so long, her people had fought, caught up in endless wars and senseless slaughters. Now they were working together, uniting through mergers that were never thought possible; mergers for love instead of just political gain. For herself, she had hoped to find a partner to share the burden she carried before the merger with the Azgeda could take place. That hope's flame distinguished after to many nights alone, fighting wars and generals; alone with no one able to stand at her side, no one strong enough to want to fight alongside her. No one strong enough to break the merger agreement set in motion so long ago. 

She felt the softness of the leather glide through her fingers, imagining it was her hair that she was running her hand through. Costia appeared in her life just before she became Heda. She was so different in comparison, she was soft where Lexa was hard; she was trained to save life, where Lexa was trained to take life. 

They had both known the dangers of being together, and still Costia had worked hard to break her down and get her to drop her warrior training; to see beyond the facade. It took years to become a formal arrangement, but their spirits had long ago combined. She had been the only one that Lexa had trusted, the only one who had seen through the years of grueling training and had seen the real Lexa. Despite the torture, she was also the only one to never betray her. Placing her people, her Heda above her own life. Now Costia was gone, and it was because of her; despite the years that had gone by, she still felt a hole in her heart where Costia had been. It was the hardest lesson she had learned, the danger of letting her heart lead her decisions. 

She was more careful now, smarter; refusing to let herself make the same stupid mistake of believing that she could have a life with the love of someone else. She would never again risk the life of someone else out of love. She felt the guilt settle in her stomach once again. Weariness enveloping her bones at the realization of the additional deaths that were about to be added to her toll. She alone carried the burden, she alone shouldered the deaths, could hear their pleas for vengeance, their cries of pain and sorrow. She knew that soon enough, their cries would once again reach from the cleansed fires that released their spirits, and would haunt her sleep for years to come.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been three days since Lexa had sent a second group to take down the invaders. Two days since she had heard news that they were able to bridge the gap from the bomb, and were zeroing in for the assault. She trusted her generals, but it was unheard of for them to go this long without updating her. She paced slowly, absentmindedly, having stared at the maps for hours already, planned out routes and avenues for additional attacks; or methods of escape, there was nothing left for her to consider until more news came in. 

She was growing restless. It should not have taken this long for an attack of this scope, they should be back already, the sickness only lasts a short time and they needed to have taken advantage of that already. 

She stopped pacing and stared out over her camp in the direction of where the cloud had originally formed. If it was the Maunon, they may have killed or captured her people already. This possibility consumed her the most, kept her up at night; and now had her pacing outside her tent again for the millionth time that day. She knew there would be a well worn path by the time the day came to an end.

She felt a small tug at her coat. Blinking a few times, she shook herself out of her reverie and looked down to see who had touched her. She smiled at the sight of a young child, offering something in her little hands. “Chit ste em yongon?” (What is it little one?) she asked, stooping down to come to her eye level. 

She smiled nervously and offered her hand to Lexa again. “Gon yu, Heda” (for you, Heda) she offered meekly, a slight blush spreading on her already rosy cheeks. 

“Chit ste em strik bird? (What is it little bird?)” Lexa watched as she opened her hands to reveal a charcoal colored stone, in the child hands the stone was big enough to require both hands to fully hold. Lexa smiled at the gesture, letting the stone fall into her waiting hand. It felt cool and smooth in her palm, she let her finger slide across its polished surface before looking up at the expecting eyes. “Gon me?” (For me?)

“Gon your worries” (for your worries), she offered in response. “Ai don hon em op gon yu kom pour your worries” (I found it for you to pour your worries in to), she gestured towards the rock again. 

A worry stone? she smiled at the act, closing her hand around it, “mochof strik bird, I will use it wisely”. She cupped the girls chin in her hands and softly kissed her forehead. The girl squeaked in response then turned, receiving a small tut from Lexa as she ran off. 

She ran her thumb along the smooth stone again, feeling the weight of it in her hand. She could not help the smile that formed as she watched the young girl join her friends. These children, their future, was why she fought so hard as their Heda. To keep them safe so that they may grow strong and help lead her people in the future. Perhaps in one of them, the next Heda could be found.

A commotion from below the ridge drew her attention from the group of children. She turned her eyes towards where they were pointing. To her horror she saw more metal falling from the sky, Monsterous pieces screaming in the distance. What does the Goddess reign down now? She wondered as the cold swell of fear enveloped her, Reinforcements? New clans? What new dangers were now landing. 

Gustus ran towards her, weapon at the ready. “We should prepare to take cover Heda, we do not know what kind of danger falls from the sky.” Lexa nodded without facing him, both of them watching as smaller chunks broke off and fire lit up the sky. 

Lexa turned to him as the sky continued to fall all around her, “a bounty, on any Skaïkru that survives their fall from the stars. I want them alive Gostos. One of them may be the key to.…”

“Fables Heda! The Skaïkru cannot be trusted!” Gustus huffed cutting her off with his response.

Lexa put her hand up, “Pleni! Our people need something to believe in. Truths or not, we must proceed carefully. Find me Skaïkru, let me worry about the rest.”

She watched the village, full of life and hope and promise was now replaced with a palpable anxiety. One again alone in the responsibility for the thousands of souls under her command. Through heartbreak and brute force, her people were finally living and working as one; she knew it was time for hard choices to once again be made. She had visited as far as she could reach on her land. Had conversed with the Floukru, who moved her voice and messages swiftly on their large boats. Had shared with the Sankru in their desert oasis, always looking for the fabled city of light, a legend that she knew to well. 

The Azgeda were still her biggest threat despite having ended that war in victory a long time ago, and a merger between leaders still pending. They feared very little in their tundra wasteland, and they made sure to flex their muscle whenever they could against her people. They alone had refused to join her, they alone had refused to bow to her command. 

Now, however, they all had a common enemy. The mountain had hidden many secrets that only her people, the Trikru had truly known. Their reach was ever expanding, and now they were tearing apart families from all nations with no repercussions. Thousands were missing, turned into reapers or disappearing in the night, never to be seen again. It was this threat that help finalize her plans, unite the clans. Even the Azgeda could not deny the benefit of attacking as one force.

Her people were afraid. Afraid of the mountain, and now afraid of the sky. It was up to her to maintain the unity and give them hope to replace their fear with. 

Suddenly far off in the distance an explosion appeared out of no where. The sound was deafening as it reverberating against the mountains walls and seemed to bounce back and forth across the valley and its trees, it lasted far to long to just be a bomb. As she steadied her feet the blast finally seemed to subside and end. She gripped the stone in her hand so hard, her fingers turned white with the pressure as three of her men ran towards her bowing their heads in respect, knowing full well that orders were about to be delivered.

“Prepare my men, we leave at once.” She ordered entering her tent. She grabbed the nearest pack and started hastily shoving maps into it from her table, focusing not on what she was packing but on keeping her facade in place. She needed to get down there and find out what was happening, why no one had reported back and what that explosion was. She needed to protect her people.

“Heda, where shall we tell them we are going?” one of them asked her from the entrance of her tent.

“To War.” She replied simply, passing past her and exiting her tent to welcome the unknown enemy with open arms and a sword at the ready.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, we sneak closer and closer to Lexa and Clark meeting. Hopefully you are still with me and enjoying the storyline. 
> 
> Chapters might be a bit smaller now, I feel like my first initial ones were quite verbose and I don't like the idea of continuing that trend. I am spending more time cutting things down now, and working my way to my version of season three. Which I am more excited about, to be honest, because I don't have to worry about the timeline or trying to stay close to canon! 
> 
> Thank you for your Kudo's and Comments!

It took no time at all for her men to prepare their things and be on their way. She knew where she would head first but despite leaving immediately, it was still another two day journey from where they were now. 

She had spent the last 2 weeks with the Sintaimkru, learning about their farming and horse rearing techniques. Despite having to cut her visit short, they had gifted her with some majestic horses to add to her army, and enough food to feed her entire army for the winter months. They were one of her favorite clans because they spent more time in peace then any other clan. They were in a unique position to have protection from all the surrounding clans due to their ability to produce tradable goods. As such, it was a welcomed respite to just be in the moment with her people instead of negotiating terms as she had to do with the other clans. 

She rode behind her men as they made their way quickly to meet with Indra at one of the larger villages in the Trikru region. She would set up camp there and win her campaign from a village she practically grew up in. While she loved living in Polis, a familiar anticipation filled her at the thought of being ‘home’ once again. It had been far to long since she had felt Trikru earth beneath her feet and inhaled the familiar mossy smell of the forrest that was once outside her door. 

They had seen more Skaïkru reign down as large metal chunks landed across Trikru land. Like the first time the Skaïkru appeared, these strange metal chambers housed people, reinforcements perhaps to the smaller clan on the ground. She had sent out scouts to ascertain how many more Skaïkru had landed, how much bigger was their force. She cursed their seeming ability to multiply by dropping out of the sky. 

“Gostos, what news of what rained from the sky?” she asked without taking her eyes off the warriors ahead of her as he caught up to her at the back of the pack. 

“It rains flesh Heda”, he huffed out his response, his voice gruff with lack of sleep. “We found one, destroyed, their bodies strewn across the land and a massive hole where they landed. One has landed with Skaïkru inside but the scouts indicate that clan has all but left the metal box they landed in. There is one more, larger, where there are more Skaïkru, I do not know if we will ever stop counting their numbers.” He bowed his head slightly before continuing, “it seems though, that not all who fall from the sky live” he looked at her, smiling at the Skaïkru’s misfortune.

Lexa nodded ignoring his glee, visualizing the carnage that had been described to her. Metal and bone mixed together. She could only imagine the devastation they were feeling at the apparent loss of so many lives. Even though they were her peoples enemy, she still felt pity for the massive loss of life. “And of the Skaïkru that was turned into us?” 

“Just one, Heda. He is being taken from the Sankru and transported” Gustus smirked at the knowledge of what will await the man when they arrive, “he will be awaiting your arrival.” 

Lexa nodded once in confirmation. After putting a bounty on the heads of any Skaïkru, a Sanskava reported having one captured within hours it seemed of the bounty being placed. Despite the protests from those around her demanding death in retribution for the pain they were causing; she knew that capturing as many as they could alive could provide more information into their strange culture, customs, and ultimately their weaknesses, then simply killing them.

She was anxious to get there and start putting things into place. To many questions were still left unanswered. Now with one in their custody, she needed a way to get it to talk without risking misinformation. While she had people who were adept at ‘coaxing’ information out of prisoners, she felt that a little more finesse would get them more valuable information in less time. The question was how to do it. 

They rode in silence for a while longer as she weighed her options and strategy. “How many were lost in the battle?” she asked Gustus quietly.

“All 300 or so. We are still looking for survivors.” he replied solemnly. “We do not know how many the Maunon took, there was hardly anything left to count of those who did perish. I will know better once I can get a look at where the battle took place” he offered absentmindedly flipping the horses reins from one hand to the other.

Lexa nodded, absorbing the information one more time, “Any news…” she hesitated, afraid of the answer again, “of…Onya?” she looked at the tree line to her left, seeing a large buck run through the woods, away from the walking army. She tried her best to look unaffected, but she knew that if Gustus took one look at her he would be able to read through her passive demeanor.

“None” he answered flatly shaking his head but not taking his eyes off the group marching ahead of them, “we found Trestan not far from their camp. His body is being transported to his people, so that he may pass on.” Lexa nodded, keeping her eyes fixed ahead as she imagined Anya’s body having to go through the same spirit releasing ceremony, “it is only a matter of time before we find her, she is a fierce warrior. If anyone could survive, it is her” he added quickly, sensing her unease after throwing a glance her way. 

She nodded silently, trying to shake the fear from her weary bones. Is there any good to be had from today? She let out a deep sigh. “How Gustus?” she shrugged and shook her head, “How did this all go so wrong?”

“They burned them, Heda”, Gustus spit out in a sudden fit of rage, his anger betraying his usual calm reserve, “there was nothing left but charred remains.” His body shook with reserved rage, causing the horse he rode on to perk its ears backward at the sudden tension it felt upon its back. She watched his horse prance slightly as he tried to gently sooth it calm. 

Lexa felt a lump forming at her throat that she struggled to swallow against. She knew that her face did not betray the heartbreak that she was feeling at that moment, but maintaining composure in moments like these was still a challenge. She had sent them to die. She had underestimated their enemy, and now 300 of her warriors had died. Sacrificed themselves at her command, leaving families and friends behind to mourn them. She swallowed dryly a few more times, calming herself and letting them marinade in silence before chancing a response, “tell me more about what was reported. Do we have more information on their commander.”

“Their commander has proven to be a worthy adversary, cunning, vicious even” Gustus sighed heavily “The last we heard, a man and women were leading the small group."

Lexa turned to face him, "the same who attacked Linkon?" 

"Ja Heda, and who attacked Onya at the bridge." He added, swiping a bug away from his face absentmindedly.

"A man?" Lexa sneered at the statement, "that boy is reckless, he cannot be reasoned with. He is to be held accountable for what he did to Linkon" Lexa ordered as Gustus nodded in agreement. "The women? The one they call Skaïprisa, what have we learned of her?"

Gustus shook his head, stroking his beard as he responded, "She remains a mystery, Heda. We do not know much more then what Onya told us. She came speaking of a desire for peace, to create some kind of truce and learn from each other. But then, she attacks…” He trailed off. 

Irritating Lexa, she waited impatiently for him to continue. “And?” she growled out, annoyed that he was forcing her to even ask.

Gustus chuckled lightly at her impatience, “her spirit…” he paused reflectively, “She reminds me of you.” She bristled at his statement, and choose to ignore the smirk that was now plastered on his face. 

Lexa glared at the road ahead as Gustus droned on about their preparations, perhaps, she wondered hopefully, this Skaïprisa can be reasoned with. It was useless hope, she knew that, yet she could not stop the small flame of possibility that has lit in her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big heartfelt thank you to Sarah___13 for reading through this chapter, and helping me fix those pesky grammatical errors that I have so many of!

They arrived with little fanfare two days later; there wasn’t much room for celebration in the middle of a war. Much to Lexa’s surprise, another Skaïkru willingly walked into the very camp she was at. Both descriptions of their capture were strange to her, they merely gave up with no fight. She hoped because of this, these two would be different than the Skaïkru that she had been hearing so much about. This intrigued her, she had been thinking more creatively about how to approach them. She was enjoying the rare opportunity to challenge the way they would be getting information from them. One thing was certain, they knew nothing of her people or their ways, and she hoped to use that to her advantage.

Indra stood at the entrance of the village, surrounded by warriors and the familiar green surroundings of the woods and the metal wall that kept TonDC safe. Lexa felt her shoulders relax at the sight and familiar smell of the trees and brush that surrounded the camp. She smiled warmly at Indra who was flanked by her most loyal warriors, their stark black contrasting deeply against the green foliage around them. She couldn't help but thinking how the contrast made the surrounding woods feel brighter.

She gracefully slid off her horse dropping the reigns as another grounder quickly approached to pick them up and guide her horse to the stables. As she approached Indra, she held her forearm out, clasping her’s in a warm embrace. "Heda, you bless us with your presence again."

She nodded, keeping her eyes trained on the ground as Indra turned to follow her into the village, "I return with a heavy heart, Indra".

She looked up after they passed under the village gates to see hundreds of smiling faces welcoming her warmly. "It seems Heda's heart is always heavy these days." Indra replied absentmindedly. "Not only have the sky's opened up in a fierce storm, but we have metal coming down as well. This is a challenging time indeed."

Lexa warmly accepted a gift of flowers from a young woman as they approached Indra's quarters. It still embarrassed her to have people she grew up with fawn over her like that. “Your people have eagerly anticipated your return” Indra offers, seeming to sense Lexa’s awkward hesitation.

Lexa surveyed the expanse of the village around her, it was a mixture of concrete building and makeshift huts compiled together from various scrap metal that expanded out from the town center. The familiar scent of meat being smoked filled the air and caused Lexa’s stomach to protest loudly at its emptiness. Suddenly she realized how parched she was from the long ride, and how heavy her coat felt. She preoccupied herself by gripping her sword as it swung at her side as they passed through the crowd towards Indra’s home at the top of the center of the village. "What of the prisoners? I understand we have two?"

Indra nodded as she motioned for her to pass through the entrance, "they are being held in the tunnel. I have made sure that no one has talked to them."

Lexa took a seat at the wooden table, stretching her legs out from the long ride as she watched Indra take some water and pour it into two cups. She offered one to Lexa, who drank deeply from the fresh water. Her throat welcomed the fluid. She slipped her coat off and proceeded to unclip her gauntlets and slip off her gloves. She was feeling more refreshed from the long ride and was eager to hear the updates that Indra provided as her tent was being set up just on the  
outskirts of the main square. It would be easier for her to not be at the center of attention here, considering the reason why they had come.

___

Sometime near nightfall, shouts from outside Indra's hut drew their attention. They both rushed outside to see what was causing the commotion. Gustus and two guards had their arms out, trying to stop the rush of people that were heading towards them, all yelling at once. "Chil ou!" they demanded of the group.

"What is the meaning of this?" Indra yelled out as Lexa stood back, watching.

The crowd parted slightly as Nyko walked through, carrying a body in his arms. He said nothing, as he laid the young boy, his nephew Artigas, at Indra's feet. Lexa's eyes searched the small body covered in blood and mud, before turning to Nyko, who was covered in the same. What fresh hell is this? Lexa fumed her hands in tight fists at her side as she carefully studied Nyko’s face.

"Explain this!" Indra's voice teetered on the edge of softening at the sight of Nyko, she gently coaxed Nyko to continue by catching his eye and nodding, he seemed transfixed by the young body that he had laid at their feet.

"Two came" Nyko did not look up, "looking for Skaïkru. They set fire to our winter provisions, drew us out and corralled us as they searched the camp." Nyko looked away briefly as he cleared his throat. "They attacked us, we..." His voice caught in his throat again for a moment, Lexa felt tears stinging her eyes with the threat of falling as she watched his throat bobbing, fighting to suppress a sob. "One of them. He had a look..." Nyko looked up, catching her eyes, "he was not human but an animal, murdering anything that moved. We…” he paused, looking down briefly before continuing, “We were unarmed”.

Lexa walked to him, and put her hands on his shoulders, giving him a moment to collect himself, "How many?” she asked quietly, trying to keep the gathering crowd around them from hearing and getting amped up again.

Nyko stared back at her, shaking his head as tears began to fall, “18” he offered through gritted teeth. She felt his shoulders tighten as he clenched his fists in order to regain control, "18 woman and children" he said in a clearer voice, "including my own.” he practically yelled into the crowd.

At this, the crowd reared back up in anger, demanding retribution. Demanding justice.

Lexa’s head swam at the news, 18 she thought mutely, watching her people crowded around, their anger growing exponentially. 18 of my people, she suddenly felt as if the world was caving in on her, the feeling of bodies pressing in, pushing further against each other, scrambling to be seen and heard, overwhelmed her. She fought the urge to claw her way through the crowd, and instead turned and left through a space that Gustus made for her. She needed to clear her head. Needed to put distance between herself and the frenzied anger that was growing amongst her people.

She walked briskly into the woods, letting the sound of anguish dim with each step. She focused on her breathing, keeping it even as she looked for a familiar tree line that she used to go to as a child. The sound of the crowd was quickly replaced by the sound of the surrounding forest.  
Reaching her target location, she softly dropped down the small overhang, feeling her knees give out as she touched the ground.

She clutched at her heart, overwhelmed by the loss of life. A quiet sob escaped through clenched teeth at the knowledge of the carnage that seemed to follow her people. She inhaled loudly, trying to calm herself down. Hunched over, she let another sob escape as she pounded the ground with her fists in anger. No tears fell, just the angry sob of despair that escaped her lips once more; she inhaled a shuddered breath, exhausted by the exertion, before she sat up on her haunches.

She stared out at the dark expanse of the forest, willing herself to calm down, to let go of the suffocating weight that seemed to be pressing down on her chest. What was once her home, her safe space, was now invaded by death and despair. She felt like she was living a nightmare, seeing the pain on the villagers’ faces, the fear and despair. She had tried so hard to save them from anguish, and she was failing. All she wanted was for them to live in peace, the people who raised her, gave her hope, and believed in her; she wanted to thank them for that faith by giving them some peace in their lifetime. She sat there for some time, in silence, her mind blank as she watched the leaves slowly move in the breeze.

Somewhere to her right, a twig broke, diverting her attention. “Who’s there?” she called out  
as she quickly stood and prepared to face whatever was walking her way, her hand on the hilt of her dagger.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to sneak up on you” came the terse response as Echo stepped out from under a canopy of brush. “I didn’t think it was possible to catch the great Heda unprepared.” Lexa was certain that Echo was smirking, but couldn't make out her expression in the dark, “I couldn’t help noticing you out here on your own.”

Lexa tensed, wondering how much she had seen or heard. The last thing she needed was for Echo to see her vulnerable. She watched her slowly wind her way towards her before responding, “what are you doing out here?”

“I heard about the attack on the village, I thought I would come to see if we could help.” She stood just below Lexa in what would be a river in the spring, as Lexa stood on the small embankment.

“Now?” Lexa narrowed her eyes, searching her features, “Now you want to assist? Where were you when we actually needed your assistance?” she coolly asked, watching as Echo reflexively rolled her shoulders back at the accusation. She didn't want to give her anymore potential information then she already had.

Echo nodded, never taking her eyes off Lexa as she inhaled deeply and breathed out a deep sigh, “It was…” she looked away, trailing off trying to find the right words.

“What did you see?” Lexa suddenly realized that Echo was probably at the initial attack that Anya and Tristan had launched, had probably seen firsthand the explosion that she had barely been able to catch a glimpse of. She may know what happened, and where her missing people are.

“Not much to be honest, we were already falling back by the time the explosion happened.” She shrugged half heartedly, “It was not a fair fight. This clan…” she took a step up to try and climb  
the embankment, Lexa reached her hand out on impulse to help her, “This Skaïkru, they are much more dangerous then I gave them credit for.”

Lexa watched her sit down next to her, letting her feet dangle uselessly as she peered up at her, nodding for her to join. Lexa rolled her eyes at the action, but sat down next to her. “They continue to defy me at every turn” Lexa responded bitterly.

Echo nodded, staring at the trees as they swayed gently. Neither broke the silence that had fallen, each engrossed in their own thoughts. She finally broke the silence by clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, “Do you remember when we first met?” she asked suddenly, turning slightly to face her.

Lexa couldn’t help a small smile at the memory, “you tried to catch me off guard. I remember it quite well”. She rolled her eyes slightly as she recalled the image in her mind.

“I dropped down from a tree, thinking an aerial attack would be the best way to introduce myself to Lexa, Triku warrior and the great and powerful Indra’s second” Echo used her hand to mimic what she had done, splaying her fingers out as she slowly moved it closer to the ground.

“And I sidestepped your aerial attack, and had to scrape you off the ground” Lexa watched as Echo let her hand hit the ground, making a smashing noise. “It was a fairly feeble attempt.” Lexa added, watching her hand on the ground, her middle finger suddenly lifting up as if it was the head of a dog.

“For a normal human, it would have worked” She added pretending her hand was some creature as it slowly moved across the expanse between them and began to climb her thigh. “How was I supposed to know that you were the new commander? You deployed some kind of trickery keeping it a secret for as long as you did.”

Lexa snorted at the memory, “Heda or not” she raised her chin defiantly, “you could never have ambushed me”. Echo’s thumb softly caressed the back of her hand causing Lexa to suddenly freeze at the unexpected action. She slowly dropped her eyes down to watch long fingers turn her hand over and softly move across her palm. She felt her eyebrow raise on its own at the tender action, unsure what to make of it. “Still, I got more information out of you and your clan as Lexa, then I ever would have as Heda” she smiled softly at the memory, letting the gentle caress warm her slightly. It was nice to do this, talk. Almost feel normal.

Lexa turned to look at Echo just in time for her to close the distance, placing a soft tentative kiss on her lips. Lexa’s eyes widened in terror, her mind going blank at Echo’s action. She leaned back, out of the kiss as she tried to come up with something to say. Echo pulled back abruptly, her eyes wide as her mouth gaped like a fish. “I…” her head shaking slowly as Lexa’s eyes matched her actions, “I thought…” she had never seen Echo at a loss for words, “since we were…we are…you know…” she trailed off, her hands moving in a circular motion as she tried to explain herself.

Lexa nodded slowly, trying to figure out a graceful way to remove herself from this horrible situation, “Echo. I…” she trailed off, completely lost. “I don’t feel. That way.”

Echo dropped her head in her hands, her cheeks a deep red hue, “I just thought it would make this easier.” She shook her head, her hands falling back into her lap uselessly, “Lexa. I want out of this merger.”

Lexa shook her head, “not this again, Echo. You know very well that is not an option.”

“I had no say in any of this!” Echo scowled at Lexa’s blank stare. “Suddenly I am being delivered to the commander on a platter, as if being leader of the Azgeda after what Nia did wasn’t hard enough, but now I am being forced into this fucking merger!”

“Then perhaps the Azgeda need to find a new leader” Lexa responded curtly, eyebrow rising slightly as she was slightly offended at the implication that she was not worthy of being someone Echo wanted to merge with.

She watched Echo recoil out of the corner of her eye. “What if I love someone else?” Echo spit out, her shoulders hunched in frustration, a crease forming on her brow.

Lexa’s head snapped up at the question, could it be possible? She wondered to herself. She could never stand in between true love, it would be the only way they could cancel the merger without facing extreme repercussions by both their clans. “Are you?” she questioned carefully, trying to ignore her beating heart, this might be her only way out.

Echo dropped her head slowly, wincing as if in pain. “No.” She responded quietly, “but I could be…then what?”

Lexa tried to keep her disappointment off her face as she realized that they were both still trapped. Stuck in a political deal that neither one wanted, but couldn’t figure a way out of. She would be forced to merge with Echo in order to cement a union with the Azgeda clan. “When it becomes more then a possibility, then we deal with it. For now…” she shrugged as she stood and stretched her weary body, turning to head back to her camp, “it appears we are both trapped.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note on the timeline: 
> 
> Lexa is just arriving to TonDC after the Delinquents went to war with the Grounders and the remaining 48 (along with Anya and whatever Grounders remained) were captured by the Mountain Men. 
> 
> We know Echo was in the area at some point because she ends up being caught by the Mountain Men before Lincoln and Bellamy break into Mt. Weather. So when she is speaking to Lexa, she is in the area, but was not part of the group of grounders or delinquents that were taken from the drop ship.


	8. Chapter 8

Once she had realized her plan, it was only a matter of putting the pieces into play. She had returned from her unexpected conversation with Echo, exhausted. However, it made the gears start working, and by the time she was back in her newly set up tent and laying down; she had put together a new strategy for dealing with the prisoners. 

Now, she sat straight in her chair, letting Indra and Gustus argue over her proposed plan, they alone knew what she was planning to do. She knew the risks she was taking, but she needed to hear more from these people, understand them better. That required them to approach this in a different way, a step away from the usual torture tactics.

“NO!” Gustus roared “absolutely not! I will not leave you in a cage with them! They cannot be trusted.” He pounded his fist on the table, emphasizing his point. “Just, allow me to interrogate them, we can get the information you seek that way.”

Lexa rolled her eyes at this display, “do you not believe that I can handle myself against these weaklings?” she waited patiently for an answer, watching as he huffed his response and threw his hands in the air.

“Lexa, that is not at all what we mean.” Indra replied exasperated. She watched her bring her hands to her face and rub her eyes slowly. Indra, like Gustus, always struggled with maintaining her emotions, jumping quickly to anger and distrust. She is a strong warrior who still sees her as the young girl she took in so long ago. “Why not have someone else take your place?” She asked quieter, having already resigned herself to whatever her Heda wanted. 

Lexa paused for a moment, considering their words. “They will not be expecting the commander to be the one.” she stated simply, offering no other explanation. “I must meet with them”. Suddenly, Lexa could see the bodies, hear the moans of the 18 from the village who were gunned down, their cries demanding justice growing louder, “hear from their mouths why they murdered our elders”, their pleas for justice echoed in her hears making it hard to maintain focus. She felt blinded by their cries, “OUR CHILDREN!” she roared suddenly, trying to drown out the sound that only she could hear. This caused Gustus and Indra to take an unexpected step back and bow their heads in agreement. She inhaled slowly, letting her body relax with every intake of breath, her face once again stoic despite her anger, their sound dulled to a quiet roar of displeasure. 

Indra nodded slowly, “it is decided Gostos. Heda will enter with you, we will wait for her cue.” 

Gustus huffed his acceptance before turning on his heel and leaving without another word. Indra hesitated at the door, “What is it?” Lexa asked wearily, she had to much to accomplish and did not want to deal with the pushback one more time. She began to take off her coat and work on her armor as she patiently waited for a response. 

“I do not mean to question you, but Heda” she tentatively took a step forward, her eyes searching for some kind of confirmation. “Are you sure that I cannot take your place?” She was asking one more time, even though they both knew the answer. 

“They will see me as a weak child, Indra. You however, will appear to them as the warrior you are.” Lexa explained, placing her hands warmly on Indra’s shoulders. “Go. We have much to prepare.” Indra nodded curtly in response as Lexa squeezed her shoulders warmly before she turned to leave.

Lexa took a few tentative steps, feeling her gait and adjusting it to try and bring her caste down from Heda: leader of the 12 clans and commander of the Woods nation; to Lexa: healer and member of the Trikru clan. 

She sighed softly, knowing it was time to take the war paint off and create a new mask to put on.  
___

They entered the cage, she behind Gustus, limping along slowly, head down. Her men grabbed the first prisoner, who she had been watching through the bars for a few days now, and began to beat him in anger, they desired justice, revenge for what happened. She could not blame them.

The other man, stood and begged uselessly, “stop we came in peace, we came in peace! Please!”

Gustus bristle at their declarations of peace, his lip curling slightly under his beard. She smirked under her shroud, waiting for him to speak for her, “you speak of peace, while you send an assassin into one of my villages!” His deep voice rolled across the cell, causing everyone to stop. 

“What are you talking about?” He demanded, pulling uselessly against his chains.

“Blood must have blood” Gustus pulls out his knife and drops it in the middle of the cell, “One of you will die, here today, by the others hand. I will hear the terms of surrender from the man who lives” Gustus turned to her giving her simple directions, “let me know when you are done”, when you have heard enough he added silently. He turned and left, leaving her with them as she settled into a curved corner of the space, keeping herself facing the entrance just in case. 

“They want us to turn on each other”, the one who called himself the Skaïkru leader was the first to break the silence. Her skin pricked at his simple assessment, it was as if he refused to acknowledge what his people had done.

“They want justice.” She was getting impatient. How long would it take for one of them to pick up arms? All of their actions had lead her to believe they were blood thirsty savages, and yet here they were. Silent. Staring at the wall. 

“Lives have been lost” he bit back at her, “on both sides” he added as if she didn't know the cost. As if her clans weren’t mourning each person that had died at their hands; as if she didn’t wear the burden of the blood shed. 

How dare he speak this way, she seethed internally but kept her mask on, turning only slightly to watch the snake spit out his words. “Thats why we need to end this war!” He tore at his clothes in frustration. The sudden action causing her to jump slightly in anticipation of an attack. She marveled at how little control they had over themselves. They were like children throwing tantrums, instead of like men, accepting their choices. 

She kept her attention on the leaf in her hands, waiting for one of them to finally take action. She watched as the calm one stood and made his way to her. She was not afraid of him, he was weak, they had made sure to provide no food or drink to them in preparation of breaking them down. He crouched down next to her, his stench offended her sense. She wanted nothing more then to tear his throat out for what his people had done. Two villages had now suffered at their hands, not to mention the 300 or so warriors that had been burned. 

“What is your name?” he asked uncertainly. 

“Lexa” she replied quietly, meekly, letting her body language match her status. She glanced quickly at him then back at the ground, waiting to see what he would do next. Trying not to breath him in.

“Lexa? I’m Thelonious. and this is Marcus.” He nodded towards the other man, who was staring bleakly ahead. “Your commander spoke of an assassin? In a village?” 

“Yes”, she bit through her anger, fighting to keep her voice even, “18 of our people were murdered. Elders, children” she turned to see the two men sitting before her, wanting to see their reaction. 

“We had nothing to do with it” the one in the corner grimaced, his face imploring her to understand. 

“It doesn't matter”, she responded quietly, letting the words hang in the air, as she turned toward them once again. “The commander thinks that you did. One of you must pick up the knife. It is our way.” She looked away briefly, remembering the faces of the children she had seen, the elders that had celebrated with her just a few months past. They were harvesting, preparing for winter for not just their clan, but others as well.

“And if we refuse?” he countered her, defiance in his tone. 

She considered them briefly for a moment before answering. Those who were slaughtered, were not armed, they did not attack. They did not deserve to die. “Then the commander will use it to slit both of your throats” she whispered back, letting the answer hang in the air.

A moments hesitation crossed both their faces as they turned to look at each other once more. They all stared at the knife laying in the center of the room, her own fingers itching to pick it up and find vengeance for her people. Instead, she waited, listening to one speak of peace and the other speak of hope. Strange, these two, she thought to herself.

“There has to be some other way to resolve this, something that we have not thought of yet” the man of hope, Thelonious, spoke up, leaning against the wall.

“There isn’t” she bit back, immediately regretting saying anything. She checked her posture and inhaled quietly, trying to stay relaxed in her corner. She looked down at the ground again, hoping they would not notice her response. 

“She’s right. They’re not budging.” the man of peace, Marcus, responded to the air. She could see despair taking hold, his body language telling her that he was losing whatever internal conflict had been waging since she had stepped into the room. It would not be long before one of them sheds blood. 

“We can offer them a trade” the man of hope leaned down, whispering in the other mans ear. “These people are primitive, I’ve seen how they live. Our technology, our medicine. All we’d ask for in return is peace.” She leaned in slightly to listen, what kind of technology do they have that could help them. Perhaps there is more to this clan then her scouts had been able to gather. How different were they then from the men in the mountain, how similar?

“If we truly want peace”, he sighed heavily staring at the knife before turning his attention back to the other man, “they told us how to get it.”

“Through murder?” Thelonious replied, glancing at the knife again. 

“Through sacrifice.” He let out a deep sigh, letting silence enveloped them again. He was understanding their way now, his role in the future. Sacrifices must be made, he was the one who she could work with; the one who could potentially bring an end to this war. Suddenly, he stood and made his way towards the dagger, picking it up. She watched his body language carefully, looking for the tell tale signs of a strike to take form.

“Marcus, what are you doing” Thelonious asked, watching him from his crouched position, his arms lying restlessly at his side. 

Marcus paused looking at the knife in his hand, “if we don't make a choice, then we’ll both die”, he asks, looking at her for confirmation. Lexa nodded mutely, not adding that she would probably kill them both anyway, as retribution for the many deaths their people have caused.

She could see desperation in his body, it laced his voice, “And the killing won’t end.” he stood and turned towards the man of hope. “There is only one way out of this” he states flatly, his thumb running up and down the handle. Lexa sits up in anticipation, ready for whatever may happen. Waiting for the man of peace to go back on his word, to kill one of his own; to kill for his own survival over that of his people.“You have to kill me. You will have to do this, its our only choice.”

What was this insanity that was happening before her. He is choosing to kill himself versus live, she thought to herself, trying to understand his motivation. All he had to do was kill the man who speaks of hope, so he may live for peace. Sacrifice one for the lives of many. It was the way of her people, the only way she knew how to survive

“Kane. No.” Thelonious bit back through gritted teeth. She could see his muscles tense, his eyes wide in anticipation of an attack.

“They respect strength”, Marcus shook his head, beseeching him to understand, “let us show them ours.”

“I said no, you did not order the massacre” Thelonious answered him. Lexa’s ears perked up at this response as she processed what she was learning. They both claimed to be leaders of their clan, but how can one clan have two commanders? They both claimed upon being captured that they could discuss terms of peace, yet another had already called for a peace meeting and attacked her people. And still, neither claimed to know of the attack on one of her villages, neither knew of the massacre. How can there be so many commanders, and yet none have control of their people?  
“Not that one” he whispered. Lexa cocked her head slightly at this, what other massacre’s are they responsible for? She wondered, is there an end to their killing?

“Marcus you don't need redemption.” He softly beseeched his friend, “the choice we made not the Ark was about survival. We did what we had to do so that the human race could survive.”

“The human race was already surviving”, exasperation filled his voice, she felt like he wanted to shake the other man into understanding.

“Then we did it for our people!” Thelonious yelled back, frustration lacing every inch of his voice.

“Yes and now we must do this. It’s the only way.” Marcus responded softly, his eyes begging for understanding. He seemed to understand the gravity of the situation they found themselves in, he seemed to understand that their actions require consequences. 

“Not going to happen” he responded resolutely, not budging an inch. 

“Your a good man, Thelonious.” She looked up to see Marcus, the man of peace, take a step back, “I wont let you die for me”. He lifted the knife and slit his wrist, before dropping down in pain.

The man of hope leapt to his aid, grabbing at the other’s arm. There was panic in his quick jerky movement. None of this made sense, why would he save him when letting him die meant he could live? 

“Help us please!” he yelled at her, begging for assistance “Please!”. She hesitated for a moment, watching him desperately try to stop the bleeding while searching her eyes for some kind of recognition. She reached into her bag and pulled out some cloth, throwing it at him. She watched as he hastily tried to bound the wound, just barely missing the correct pressure point. 

“I told you we didn’t come all this way, to die.” he whispered quietly, as the other man’s eyes fluttered slightly.

Lexa had seen enough, she knew she could use these men to stop additional bloodshed, to get the Skaïkru to leave, to go and be some other commanders problem. A slight hope began to light itself in her chest, perhaps war was not needed this time to save her people. Perhaps there was another answer for the people who dropped from the sky. She leaned over to try and see the wound better, she could bind it better and save him she thought mutely. 

Suddenly Thelonious reared up, grabbed the knife and put it at her throat. It was a position that she had rarely found herself in and still she fought the urge to roll her eyes at his stupid actions. “I chose to live!” he growled out against the protests of the other man. 

He pulled her tight against him, the cold blade touching her throat. It took no more then a second for her men to appear, rage and anger in their eyes. She inhaled deeply, letting the oxygen flow through her muscles, feeling them tense slowly as they prepared to spring into action. 

“Em don sad klin” (He made his choice) she told Gustus, “Dison laik ain” (This one is mine). Just as quickly as he had grabbed her, she spun him around. Grabbing his wrist and twisting it down to release the knife. She kicked his knee out letting the momentum of her wrist grab carry him down. He fell to the floor with a thud as she used her leg on his chest to stop him from fighting back, and pressed the knife against his throat. He nodded his submission as the other man realized what was happening and begged for his release. 

She stood quickly and turning to her people, removing the cloth from her head. “Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in” (I’ve heard what i needed to hear).

The warriors flanking Gustus bowed their head in respect “Ja, Heda” they said in unison, she handed the knife back to one of them as Gustus held up her armor for her to take. She snapped it back on, relieved at the feel of the weight of responsibility nestling itself back on her shoulders. 

Recognition took hold of the two, “you’re the commander”, the man of peace breathed out incredulously. 

Lexa turned to survey them both, weighing her words carefully. “I’ve learned much about you. Its clear your intentions are honorable, your desire for peace is true.” She saw a flicker of hope fall across both of their faces at her words as their shoulders relaxed. “Later we will talk” One of her men grabbed Marcus from behind in preparation for her next statement, “In the meantime”, she points to the man of hope, “your friend will be used to send a message.” 

She watched impassively as her men beat him into submission. He would be a useful tool. Her man dragged him out, she gave one more look towards the man of peace before turning and following Thelonious out, ignoring Marcus’s pleas of protest. 

They pulled him out to the light, he was half conscious, his head lolling from side to side as they dragged him. Laying him down on the grass she waited for him to raise his head once more, indicating he was alert. Around them, her people were fighting, preparing to march. She reveled in their strength, their unity at the impending war that is coming their way. She proudly surveyed the men and women around her, flesh meeting steel and iron, the groans of strength surrounding the fields they stood in. 

“You will deliver a message” she spoke to the man of hope without looking at him. 

“Please” he sat up slowly, imploring her with his words. “Please, listen to me”. 

She held her hand up to silence him. “Tell your people, they have two days.”

“Two? To do what?” he asked wiping the blood from his nose with his sleeve and wincing at the pain. “How will I find my people?, I don’t know where I am, or where to go!”

“To leave.” she turned slowly, cocking an eyebrow at him as she waited for confirmation of his understanding. “Prepare yourself to leave, my warriors will escort you as far as entrance to your clan.” 

“Leave? Where will we go? What will we do?” He begged her. His weakness was disgusting, it soured her mouth to even watch him beg. 

“You have two days to leave, or we will kill each one of you” she responded once more, before turning to leave him, “the massacre must be answered. Blood must have blood”.


	9. Chapter 9

“Bring me the one called Marcus Kane” She ordered, staring over the field of warriors preparing to leave. It had been a full day since Thelonious had been dropped at the edge of the Skaïkru territory. She had ordered warriors to prepare, to call for additional arms to come and add to their strength. She was not going to be caught unprepared this time by underestimating these sky people. She had no idea how large their force was; she would throw everything she could at them in hopes of wiping them completely out of her territory, or at least forcing them to lay down their arms. 

A few moments later, he fell noisily at her feet, his hands bound as he struggled to get up. “Marcus Kane of the Skaïkru”, she looked down at him and scowls at his hands, nodding to her warrior to unbind them. She watched as he rubbed his wrists, surveying the activity going on about them. He stood next to her, staying silent as he waited for her move. “Sanch!” she called out, waiting for food to be brought to them. She watched as Marcus was handed some meat and bread, taking some for herself “Mochof” she nodded as her attendant turned to leave. Somewhere in the recess of her mind, she remembered the last time she broke bread with someone. She closed her eyes briefly to wipe the memory of Lincoln away, and focus on the task at hand.

She saw him eye the food warily, watching as she took a bite herself, then followed her movements. “Thank you”, he breathed quietly, clearly enjoying the food. “Mochof” he followed even quieter. She whipped her head at hearing her language come from his lips. 

“Pro” she responded, nodding her head at him, her face staying firm in its usual stoic reserve. He smiled broadly at her, clearly pleased with himself. “You learn quickly, Marcus of the Skaïkru; we have much to discuss.”

“Just Marcus, if you don’t mind.” Lexa nodded once her response, watching him continue to enjoy his food for a few moments. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, sighing deeply as his stomach began to finally feel full. Lexa ate moderately, quietly enjoying the rare breaking of bread with someone who was otherwise an enemy. “What have you done with Thelonious? Why are you keeping me here?” he asked finally. She raised her eyebrow in response, finding it strange to be questioned by anyone; let alone by an outsider. “My friend? The one you took out of the cell?” he continued, trying to explain, his mouth still half full of food. 

“I know of who you speak. I do not need to explain to you my actions.” Lexa responded flatly, taking a long drink of water.

“Please”, he responded, shaking his head warily, “is he still alive?” 

“Yes, Marcus. He lives. That is, if your people have not killed him themselves.” She watched his eyebrows raise in surprise. “He has been sent back, to your people. He will deliver a message for me, in hopes that we can avoid unnecessary bloodshed.” Lexa sighed her response, tired already of this exchange. 

Marcus for his part, nodded enthusiastically. “This is what I have been saying! We can come to terms, an agreement! We can learn from each other, provide for each other.” 

Lexa eyed him warily, “your people have caused much bloodshed. Have destroyed many lives.” 

“We had nothing to do with that massacre, I promise you” he quickly countered, standing firm. 

“Do you accuse our people of lying?” Lexa responded calmly, the only movement on her face was her eyebrow raising. 

Marcus ran his hands through his hair, “It must be a misunderstanding, there has to be an explanation for this. My people wouldn’t attack children!” 

Lexa watched as he tried to work through possible solutions. She waited patiently for his display to be over before turning and calling for Nyko to come over. “Naikou” she pointed as he calmly walked up to meet them, “Naikou is one of our finest fisa” She watched as he shook his head, not understanding. “Healer” 

“Ja Heda” Nyko offered, calmly bowing his head as he eyed the stranger warily. 

“It was his village that was attacked.” Lexa offered as understanding formed on Marcus’s face. Nyko bristled visibly at her words, anger emanating in waves from his normally calm persona.

“I…” he hung his head before continuing, “I’m sorry.” He looked up pathetically, as if the mere apology would be enough. 

“Two came,” Nyko calmly replied, though his hands were in tight fists at his side, “looking for your people. One called Fin, one called Mofi.” Marcus shook his head softly, his eyes betraying his acknowledgment, her skin bristled slightly in response. “Fin murdered my family, my friends. Our children.” 

She watched as tears filled Nyko’s eyes, her heart tugged for him again, for her people. Her mask covered any emotion she might have been feeling, but her eyes were fierce with fire. She inhaled deeply before speaking. “You are a guest, Marcus. Take some time to heal. Hopefully you will learn who we really are. We will speak again in a few days.” She turned to leave, indicating for Nyko to follow her.

“Wait!” Marcus called back to her retreating form as his guard walked up to him, grabbing his hands to tie them up. She paused but did not turn to face him. “How long?” He asked feebly, “For how long am I to stay here!”

Lexa turned to face him before responding, “Until I need you again” turning, she left him once again. 

She walked back towards where her tent had been, it had been packed away in preparation for moving closer to where the battle would be. She stayed silent as Nyko followed a few feet behind. She walked past the village buildings, towards a large expanse of the wall. They exited through a side entrance, the guards watching inquisitively, but not raising a hand to stop either of them. 

She walked out beyond their wall and up a large hill, it wasn't for another 20 minutes until she slowed down. Nearing the edge of a small drop off, she finally squatted down and looked for a place to sit that had minimal debris. She didn't bother to turn and look at Nyko as she sat staring over the bluff, she could feel his presence behind her. For now that was enough.

She let her eyes wander over the scenery. Off in the far distance was the lake that she had visited so many times as a child. She had spent many summers swimming in that lake, learning how to fish, how to dive deep to its depth, and eventually how to use its waters as a tactic against her enemies. 

Nyko finally took a seat next to her, letting out a small huff as he hit the ground, breaking her revery. He took out a small pipe from his pocket and began to silently fill it with herb. She glanced briefly at the action, then let her eyes scan the horizon again, looking to her left, she just barely caught a glimpse of a white head, “Lincoln’s statue” she quietly murmured, more to herself then to him. 

Nyko nodded his head, looking at the direction she was facing before offering the pipe to her first. She wrinkled her nose at the pipe, but smiled softly at the gesture. She hated the way smoking made her feel, the way it slowed down her ability to think, to process. She shook her head once and watched him retract the pipe to his lips, lighting it quickly and inhaling deeply. 

She allowed her gaze her to wander again, over the green and blue expanse. She inhaled deeply, letting the rich air fill her lungs. Nyko was breathing deeply as well, but filling his lungs with a very different type of air. 

“Should we be at the statue?” he asked gruffly, exhaling all at once. 

Lexa turned to look at him fully for the first time. Taking in the gruff but gentile man before her. “Are we settling a dispute?” she asked, a small smirk on her face. 

He shook his head, “Not between you and I” he replied, a slight chill in his voice.

Lexa let the statement hang there, her face once again impassive. “No. I suppose not between you and I” she said slowly. She suddenly missed the Nyko she knew, the carefree man who could gently turn a word or a phrase into something with deeper meaning, who could make anyone smile or laugh no matter how terrible things seemed. She felt the need to somehow reciprocate, to bring a smile to his face once more. “I am so sorry, Nyko.” She shook her head, swallowing dryly, “for your loss.”

Nyko shook the pipe out, banging it softly against his palm as the last few embers shook out. His gaze wandered briefly toward the statue. She followed it, picking out the white stone among the green canopy easily. “Do not feel sorry for me, Heda.” She turned to stare at him, watching him carefully, “Once you find the perpetrator and we have the the cleansing ceremony, Artigas will finally be at peace with his family.” 

Lexa didn’t know how to respond, how to help him deal with the anguish he must be feeling. “He would have made a fantastic healer.” She simply stated, turning her attention back to the surrounding forrest. 

Nyko laughed lightly at her comment, “he had no interest in being a healer. He wanted to be a warrior, like his father.” he sighed softly, putting the pipe away. “As much as I tried to convince him otherwise” he smiled sweetly at the memory, “but he was just like my brother.” 

Lexa mimicked the smile “then he would have made a good warrior.” She nodded once, her lips pressing together as if to cement the statement into fact. 

Nyko sighed softly, “he was a wonderful boy.” 

“We will get retribution Nyko. They will pay for what they have done.” Lexa ground her teeth slightly as she narrowed her eyes. 

Nyko ran his hand down his beard, his green eyes twinkling slightly, “They do not need to pay.” He stated with some finality, “only one needs to pay.” He fully faced her, reaching for her hand before continuing, “there are good people in that clan, Heda. People that are not like the Fin who attacked us. You have a responsibility to…” 

Lexa pulled her hand away, bristling at the statement, “I do not care about those people, that clan. I am responsible only for our people. Our people demand retribution, as Heda, it is my job to enact it!”

Nyko nodded slowly, stroking his beard again. “You…” he responded quietly, “are more then your title, more then the commander; as I am more then a healer.” Lexa stared at him blankly, how can he say this? she wondered, how can he fight for the very people that killed members of his clan? “I have met one called Okteivia”, he saw her unintended reaction to the name, “You have heard of her I take it?” 

Lexa nodded mutely, “from Lincoln.” she replied simply, watching him nod along with her. “You have much faith in your fellow brother.” 

“With good reason, Heda. If even half the Skaïkru are like her. Then we would do well to unite with them. She fought fiercely to save him from the Reapers, saving me in the process. They would make fierce allies against the Maunon.” He continued matter of factly. 

Lexa picked at the grass, finding a particularly long blade, she picked it at its root and placed it in her mouth. She sat pensively, sucking on the blade of grass, chewing on it slightly to let the sweet taste envelope her mouth. She stared out at the vast expanse of land before her, Trikru land, her land. Land she has sworn to protect. She sighed deeply, frustration growing even more at her seemingly increasing lack of options. “If only…” she stood finally, needing to feel blood returning to her legs again, needing to feel movement once more, “if only it were that simple, Nyko.” She glanced once more at the beautiful peaceful landscape before turning sharply, heading back to the village, back to inevitable war.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time they had gotten back to TonDc, she had run through every imaginable scenario in her mind. If there was a way to spare death, she would need to bring a massive force and get into their heads. If she could scare them into surrendering, she could save not only their lives, but those of her warriors who could do little to stop the bullets from their guns. No matter what, every decision that she made from here on out would be heavily scrutinized by the generals in each clan. She was on thin ice, and she could feel the pressure of the moment expanding and contracting with each step. Her only hope was in a quick victory. 

She sat on her horse, amongst her people. The energy around her was palpable. Every Trikru was ready to defend their people, their honor, ready to get retribution for the massacre. They chanted together as one voice, eager to meet their enemy in battle. They would fight as one people, move as one sword and one arrow. 

They began to move out from the village and its temporary tents and structures Each warrior willing to meet death in hopes of bringing peace to those who no longer had life. She sat on her horse as she watched them march towards the Skaïkru village. The ground practically rumbled with each of their steps. Even in the pitch black night, she could see the mass of bodies moving before her, and feel their heartbeat pumping adrenaline through their veins. These were were people, she would not take their lives into battle lightly. 

Her scouts had arrived earlier, able to move quicker without armor and through aide of horse. They fed back information on the movements and actions of the clan, giving her information on where the best position for battle would be and how the Skaïkru movements worked. She was surprised to learn that they had not moved from their village. They were stuck, trapped, with her army coming soon to completely envelope them. Perhaps the man of hope did not give them my warning, she thought blankly to herself. Why else would they stay to fight. Hide behind feeble fences and walls? 

By the time she arrived to the edge of the sky peoples village, her tent had already been set up and her generals were quick to surround around her, prepared to take orders. She moved quickly into the tent, and stood at the top of the table that held the topography map of the Skaïkru structure. She quietly surveyed the table, searching for weak points that they could take advantage of. Finally, as the last general shuffled in place, she looked up at the group before her, “It has been two days, and they have not heeded my warning.”

“We should kill them where they stand!” Indra responded over the buzz of the room, “we can take advantage of the darkness and be done with this Skaïkru mess before first light.”

Lexa shook her head, putting her hand up to quiet the murmurs of agreement around her. She was true to her word. She had given them until sunrise, she would wait until them. “We will give the Skaïkru an opportunity to enjoy their last night alive. Spread out, light the torches. We will wait until sunrise and attack here” she points on the table that has their camp played out, “and here, first” she received affirmative murmurs in response. “Go, spread the word”. On her command, everyone shuffled out of the tent and began shouting orders to spread out the torches, she followed her generals and watched the general chaos take form into an organized distribution. 

She surveyed the dark expanse before them, inhaling the cold night air as she was handed her own torch. She let out a small puff of air, how quickly things had moved, suddenly she was standing on the eve of war with another clan, a involuntary tug of memory hit her suddenly. She remembered standing at the outskirts of the Azgeda clan, her army around her. She shook the memory from her mind as she lit the first torch. 

She leaned her torch out towards two other warriors holding similar torches themselves. She gazed around her as torches began to light, each one lighting two more. She knew the visual effect this would have on the Skaïkru. She knew the fear that it would spread, like ice in their veins. This was by far one of her favorite tactics to instill fear and doubt to her enemy, it was beautifully simple in its design, but powerfully impactful. Each torch represented a warrior willing to give his or her life up. On either side of her, the hill was covered in torchlight. Her warriors clad in black were still barely visible against the pitch black expanse. She felt a shiver of excitement run through her, it was almost time. 

An hour later, as the peak of the sun started to rise she heard her name called, “Heda!” Gustus walked to her with Indra by his side. “They wish to speak to you, the Skaïkru are sending a representative” 

“To beg for mercy” Indra sneered, contempt laced in her voice. 

“Bring him to my tent, I will hear their terms of surrender.” Lexa turned towards her tent ignoring Indra’s scowl. She was pleased that they would so easily fall, that bloodshed was going to be avoided. A small sense of relief began to wash over her, I can do more with a clan that surrenders then I can with a clan of dead bodies, she thought to herself as she opened the tent flap.

“Her” Gustus corrected before she could pass through the tent. “The one they call Klark, the Skaiprisa, is coming to speak to you.” 

Lexa turned, “Klark?” She felt a small chill overcome her, she shivered despite herself. She had heard much of this woman devastating effect on her people, she was finally going to be able to judge for herself.

“Ja Heda” Indra nodded, turning to look at the expanse of metal that was starting to come into view with the early rays of the sun. “She is the one who caused the death of Onya and Tristen”, she looked down as she mentioned their names, a small lurch in her stomach at the acknowledgement that Onya was probably lost to her forever. “We should kill her before she even makes it to your tent, Heda” Indra’s anger was about to boil over. It was her village that had seen the senseless deaths, it was their vengeance that she sought. 

Lexa tensed at the realization, the slayer is coming here to surrender, “if they wish to surrender, so be it. They will pay for their deeds Indra, I will make sure of that.” she turned and entered her tent, grateful for a silent moment to contemplate what this all meant. Why did they not run if they were not going to fight? How few options did they have, that this was easier for them? 

She moved slowly to her throne as a handful of warriors entered and positioned themselves around the structure. Indra came in and threw a glance her way, her eyes betraying the anger that she was working hard to keep in check. They said nothing to each other, but Lexa could easily read Indra’s intentions without having to speak. She wanted bloodshed, she wanted to destroy what was left of the Skaïkru and bring peace once more to her village. 

Lexa sat on her throne, and waited for the arrival of the one they called Klark.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting double chapters today, since the previous one was a bit short. 
> 
> Soooo.....FINALLY. They meet! 
> 
> Hopefully you guys are still with me and I have not strayed to far from what you know/believe to be true about the character. As always, I look forward to any thoughts that might be shared!

Lexa sat in her chair, Indra by her side as other warriors covered the perimeter. She felt an odd anticipation fill her as she watched the tent entrance, waiting for it to move and reveal the savage warrior that had caused so much death and destruction. She listlessly picked at her dagger as she waited, attempting to calm her nerves. The cool blade normally would have helped center her, but today it just served as a reminder of the lives lost; and the lives that were about to be. 

As the flap moved, she unwittingly held her breath at the sight before her. A young women entered, strong will radiating from her person. She had blonde hair and piercing blue eyes like Lexa had never seen before.They seemed to swallow her whole as their eyes met. She allowed her gaze to run up and down her form, she was gaunt yet toned, and her face betrayed a fierce battle recently fought and her body betrayed a consistent lack of nutrients. She looked nothing like the demon she had pictured her to be. She was light, everything about her seemed to vibrate with something Lexa couldn’t quite put her finger on. She had never seen someone so beautiful, and so full of death and despair. Death certainly picked a beautiful form to show herself she thought to herself and Clark stopped and stood before her. They eyed each other quietly, each sizing the other one up before speaking. She felt an unwelcome ease enter her, something about this woman knocked her off her center. 

Lexa stared down at her knife before speaking, “You’re the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive” it was not a question, but a statement of fact, that she did not expect a response to. 

“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us” she bit back, surprising Lexa with no only her tone, but the sheer fact that she responded at all. Her voice was slightly husky, worn and weary from days of battle. A strong spirit is held within her Lexa mused to herself but no one can speak to me this way, especially a Skaïkru. 

Lexa twirled her dagger before stabbing her armrest in frustration, “Do you have an answer for me?” She watched her jump slightly at the question, confusion momentarily played across her face, she enjoying teasing Clark a little more then she probably should. “Klark, of the sky people?” 

“I've come to make you an offer” Clark offered back, blue eyes meeting green. 

“This is not a negotiation.” Lexa bit back, appalled at the implication that she would negotiate anything, let alone with someone like her. 

Indra spoke up first, begging for her death, one that she as Heda knew was surely coming. Her hesitation couldn't be helped however, there was something intriguing about her though, something that gnawed at the edges of her vision. She comes here, at the hour of the demise of her people to negotiate terms? Who did she think she was, Lexa began to feel her pulse quicken slightly as she felt Indra’s rage emanating the room, what power did she think she held over people? Lexa held up her hand, silencing Indra’s pleas as she waited for Clark to respond, she needed to focus on making decisions based on reason not passion right now. 

“I can help you beat the mountain men” she offered simply, her gaze never wavering, her shoulders pulled back as a sign of strength. 

Lexa paused for a moment, intrigued by the offer. What could they know of the Mountain? she thought bitterly. They who talked of peace and hope but massacred without hesitation, how different are they really? What could they do to bring an end to the Maunon plague? “Go on…” she pressed. 

“Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather. Kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine.” Clark lit up suddenly, her anger causing her to vibrate slightly, passion evoking itself through every inch of her being. Her rough voice betrayed a hurt that Lexa couldn’t quite place. 

Lexa felt shocked for a brief moment, wondering where all this passion was suddenly coming from. She was intrigued, “How do you know this?” She cocked her head slightly, trying to take in the figure standing before her. Her mind racing at the possibility, could my people still be alive? How many were being tortured inside the mountain? 

“Because…” Clark’s eyes flickered away slightly, “I saw them. My people are prisoners there to. I was one of them.” Her voice had a new edge, one of wavering pain. She couldn’t help the tug that seemed to come from newly invisibly attached string that ran between her and the blond.

She looked away to try and break whatever she was feeling as Indra spoke up again.   
“Lies!” Indra breathed out through gritted teeth, “no one escapes the mountain”.

“I did” Clark bit back just as fiercely, no fear in her voice. “With Anya!” Lexa’s mind snapped to attention at hearing the familiar name, a cold chill ran down her spine “we fought our way out together.”

“Another lie!” Indra responded quickly before Lexa could react, “Onya died in a fire. You killed her!” 

Clark suddenly reaches in her hand in her pocket, out of the corner of her eye she sees Gustus and her guards all reach for their weapons, waiting for Clark to make a move. She keeps her gaze on Clark however, finding her blue eyes. Slowly, she takes a single braid out of her pocket. “She told me you were her second” Lexa turned her gaze sharply from the braid to meet Clarks eyes, “I am sure she’d want you to have this” she says warmly, moving forward slowly as she hands the braid over gently. 

“We don't know its hers” Indra growled out as she watched the exchange. Her body bristling with barely contained anger.

“Shof op Indra” Lexa ordered, staring at the braid. She would recognize that soft brown hair, that intricate design anywhere. It was one that Anya had taught her many moons ago. There was no doubt in her mind that this was Anya’s, but how did she get a hold of it? She could have captured her, cut it off of her as a prisoner, Lexa’s initial thoughts went to subterfuge. She ran her thumb against the braid one more time, No. She realized How would she know to cut the braid? To keep it close and bring it with her? 

Lexa swallowed through the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, she felt her chest constrict unexpectedly at the new revelation. She kept her eyes on the braid, not trusting herself to look at Clark before continuing, it suddenly made sense why they had yet to find her body. “Onya was my mentor” Lexa felt some strange need to offer an explanation to Clark, sensing the warmth and hurt that seemed to emirate from the blond, as if she too mourned the loss of Anya. “Before I was called to lead my people.” she added, gripping the braid tightly, she closed her eyes briefly, allowing herself a moment of private grief. “Did she die well?” The question was irrelevant, she asked it more to clear the somber atmosphere that had enveloped her out of no where.

“Yes” Clark responded softly. Lexa fought to keep her mask on. Deep down she knew that this would be the end result of Anya’s life, but hearing it stated out loud did not make the pain lesson. “By my side” she added “trying to get a message to you.”

Of course she died well, she thought to herself, she did not know another way to go. She allowed her gaze to finally wander over to the blond, carefully taking in her features. Clark’s voice rang true and strong, confident even; but her body betrayed her. “What message?” she asked, allowing a small sense of curiosity to take hold. Why would Anya pick a Skaïkru to deliver a message? she mused to herself, carefully watching her.

“The only way to save both our people is if we join together” she responded, her voice growing stronger. She couldn't help but briefly admire the determination on the blonds face.

“Those who are about to die will say anything” Indra responded for her, stirring her slightly out of her revelry. 

“I am still waiting for an offer, Klark.” she gently put the braid down, and sat erect in her chair, waiting for a response. She stared at dark blue pools of determination, her eyes begging for Lexa to understand, to accept the offer and save her people. But Lexa would not be so easily swayed, she had to much riding now on the end result of this situation. 

“The mountain men are turning your men into Reapers. I can turn them back.” Lexa watched a cool calmness fall over the woman before her. She couldn't help but be intrigued by such an audacious offer. Everyone knew that Reapers were no more men then they were savage beasts; how could one dispel the demon that filled them once the Mountain had let them go? Her people thought they were a plague on her land, but Lexa felt there was still a human soul inside, a Trikru warrior yearning to break free from the chains. 

“Impossible” Indra’s anger betrayed her once again, causing her to lose control, she lashed out at Clark out of no where; “teik ai frag em op” (let me kill her). Strange, thought Lexa, she does not shrink back in fear at all. Lexa sat back, absorbing the words she has said. 

“I’ve done it, with Lincoln” she confidently added, though there was an edge to her voice that Lexa couldn't help but catch on to. 

“That traitor is the reason that village was slaughtered by your people” Inra reared back and propelled herself forward, stopping just short of Clarks face. She saw the tell tale signs of a warrior about to attack as Indra pulled her sword out, ready to use it.

“Indra! Em pleni!” (Enough!) She stood suddenly, needing to gain control of the situation again. She watched as Indra stalked across the room, not arguing, but not taking her eyes off of Clark either. The temperature in the room shifted slightly as anger continued to permeate from Indra’s silent submission.

She takes a few steps from her throne, Gustus following right along with her. She needed to see her better, see her eyes and read Clarks face, “You say you can turn Reapers back into men?”

“Yes” Clark responds confidently, jutting her chin out slightly to prove her point. 

Lexa nodded at the gesture and statement, “then prove it. Show me Linkon.” She demands, searching Clarks eyes for confirmation. 

Clark nods slowly, blue eyes betraying her confident reserve slightly. Lexa just barely caught a glimpse of fear at her demand. But Clarks shoulders dropped slightly as she released some tension that she had been holding. 

“We have to go to my home.” Clark hesitantly offered, her eyes searching for Lexa’s confirmation. 

Indra stepped forward once again, “into the lions den? Absolutely not!” She turned to Lexa, “I cannot allow you to walked into their village to be ambushed!”

“No. Not that camp.” Clark rolled her eyes slightly, and Lexa bit her cheek to stop smiling at the action. She didn’t need to turn to see Indra’s response, she knew full well how she would look at the rude gesture. “The dropship, where we were first at.” 

Lexa nodded, walking back to her chair to grab her jacket, “we leave at once.” She turned and started walking out of the tent, passing Clark without so much as a second look. She paused briefly at the entrance not looking back, “Klark of the Skaïkru, lead the way.”


	12. Chapter 12

Indra grabbed a handful of warriors to follow them to the location that Lexa had tried to avoid seeing. She had heard of their home, had heard descriptions of the remains of the battle. Going and seeing the charred remains of her people was something she wasn’t sure she had the stomach for right now. She set her face firm as they walked out of the makeshift camp, Clark leading the way. 

They walked in silence, the only sound was their footfalls as they clomped their way through the foliage. Clark looked back every once in a while, keeping an eye on Lexa as she silently followed as if trying to size her up. Gustus forever at her side, grunted nearly every time it happened. She was secretly pleased to be able to watch the blond walking ahead of her, she was not the warrior she had expected. She appeared soft, but like any animal; Lexa could see a barely contained passion within her. She was desperate to save her people, but she was also smart, and this combination intrigued her the most. 

For her part, she was still trying to figure out her own unexplainable reaction upon meeting Clark. It wasn’t something that happened immediately or suddenly, but the more they followed the blond, the more she felt something different. A nagging feeling that seemed to tingle in the back of her brain, refusing to show itself or shut up. Something strange was happening to her, to the people around her. It was as if some cosmic shift had happened without her permission, had changed something unexpectedly, and out of her control. She couldn’t explain the feeling, couldn't name, couldn't stop it. It was completely out of her control. She hated it. 

As they approached the space, she noticed a different scent in the air. It reminded her vaguely of a fire pit that had been left to burn itself out. A white ash seemed to cover the radius, everything was covered in an odd soot. She didn't recognize the first body that she stepped over, it looked like a burnt log had rolled into the path. It wasn't until they came closer to the gate that she realized what she was surrounded by. She felt her stomach lurch forward as if it was trying to flee the scene. An eery calm seemed to surround the space, as if 300 warriors were watching her steps even from beyond the grave. There would be no need for a fire cleansing ritual here. Each warrior had died by fire, their souls cleansed to re-enter the world if they so chose. 

As they came to the entrance of the ship, she could hear some noises within the metal structure. Clark paused, and looked back at her “this way” she nods towards the clothed entrance. Lexa is filled with a combination of disgust and anger, which she expected to have; but also fear and apprehension. Who are these people who could so easily slay 300 of her warriors? There was no honor in the way they fought. She felt a cold chill run slowly down her back as she fought to keep her face from betraying her feelings. They fought unfairly, killed senselessly, just like the mountain. Gustus kept his eyes on her, trying to read her feelings on the situation. She worked hard to keep her face blank from expression as she tentatively walked towards the structure. If this clan was as fierce as their fighting style seemed to exhibit, she needed to keep her mask on as much as possible around them.

It did not look to different from the makeshift homes in TonDc, or many of the surrounding villages in the Trikru region. She glanced at the thick metal walls and tried to envision the carnage that had occurred here. She shook her head once to clear her thoughts, she needed to focus on the task at hand and not allow herself to drown in reverie. 

She watched Clark walk to a ladder, and placing her hands on both sides, look up the rungs and let out a deep sigh. Why is she holding her breath? Lexa wondered as Clark put one foot on the bottom rung. “He’s just up here” she offered as she continued to climb. 

Gustus had two warriors stay and wait, as he sent two up before them, just in case it was an ambushed attack. She watched as everyone climbed and disappeared into the hole above them, a muffled crying could just barely be heard. 

Gustus reached his hand down, offering her assistance as she reached the top of the hole. She stepped into a circular room that was already full of bodies. She looks around the room and recognizes Lincoln chained up with a sobbing woman laid on top of him. She glanced to the corner of the room as a body shifted and just barely held her surprise in, Nyko? her eyes questioned, what are you doing here? she wondered.

She narrowed her eyes, concentrating on Lincoln’s body, looking for any sign of life. She could feel the tension in the room grow as everyone did the same. She looked for a steady rising and falling of his chest, an uneasiness filling her as she realizes that he is no longer alive. She looks at Clark and can clearly see how surprised she is as she realizes that her words are no longer true. She looks questioningly at an older woman, her eyes pleading for something.

She keeps her hand on her sword, watching as the Skaïkru try and communicate to each other without speaking, their body language and eyes revealing everything. A trickle of anger starts to well up in her chest. How dare they she thinks to herself, gripping the handle of her sword tightly. She feels the tension in the air, as her body relaxes. She will have to kill the Skaiprisa and the rest of the sky people here. For some reason, she finds herself hesitating, catching Clarks eye, she feels a small thrill run through her body that she can’t quite explain. She watches as the man on the ground slowly reaches for a gun and knows that she has hesitated to long. 

For all the crimes against her people, and for daring to lie to her, this Skaiprisa will have to pay. She gives a slow nod to Indra who had been studying her, waiting for the order. “Kill them all” Indra growls out as they all pull out their weapons, each person ready to defend themselves in the small metal structure. 

Everyone but Clark, the woman sobbing over Lincoln, and the man in the corner are armed and pointing their weapon at someone else. Indra has her sights set directly on the older woman, who is branding some kind of humming metal stick, while Nyko glares at the man in the corner. Gustus and the other two warriors cover the man with the gun. 

Lexa has her sword nearly out, her natural stance at the ready to fully unshield it as she waits for Clark to make her move. The sight of the gun so close to her people makes her nervous and she swallows dryly. She has seen the devastation this weapon can yield, and in such a closed space, she worries about its devastating effects on Indra, Gustus, and Nyko. “Please, you don't have to do this.” she begs quietly, her hands out in a defensive position. 

“You lied” Lexa’s mind reeled at the possibilities that could have been if she had been speaking the truth, but now, they were at a standoff. She chastised herself for being foolish enough to believe Clark. No one could save a man once he had become a Reaper, why would these sky people be any different. “And your out of time.” The sun is up, and you must pay for your crimes, she stared at Clark, watching her every move.

She sees her eyes fill with tears as she struggles to find the words to save herself, to save her people. But there is nothing that can be said, they had their chance to flee and they didn't take it, now she must stay true to her word and destroy them. 

Suddenly, the older woman turns quickly and shoves the metal rod against Lincoln’s chest. Something like a lighting bolt jumps out and enters his body as his rigid frame contracts against the pressure as she lifts the rod up and watches him. What is this magic? Lexa wonders, her eyes wide with astonishment, they hold lighting in their hand? She watches as his body relaxes slightly, the room deadly silent. 

“Hit him again” Clark commands, and the woman lifts the stick slightly and presses it down on his chest once more. She can see the electricity course down the stick and enter his body in blue and white streaks. Before his body can relax from its contraction, he gasps hard, drawing breath once more into his body. 

She stares at his gasping form on the ground, his eyes shut tight as he tries to draw in more breath. She tries to understand what just happened, what she just saw. How is this possible? I saw him laying here dead, and now he breaths. Lexa’s eyes searched for some kind of explanation, a plausible scenario that she could grasp. It made no sense to her. She watched in amazement as they brought back not just a reaper, but the dead himself. Her mind reeled at the possibilities.

“Lincoln” the crying woman whispered, her voice drenched in hope. 

He turned to face her slowly, his eyes searching for something on her face, “Okteivia” he breathed out. 

Realization hit Lexa like a stone, pieces of the puzzle started to fit together. This was Okteivia of the Skaïkru, who she had heard so much about. Of course, it made sense that it would be she that would be sobbing over his body. She was as Octavia reached out for him and softly touched his face, tears once again falling as Lincoln’s breathing slowly returned to normal. 

She peeled her eyes away from the scene in front of her and turned to face Clark for the first time since it happened. She was at a loss for words, but Clark matched her gaze hope clearly written across her face. She did not know what this meant, or how this had happened. They had tried, for so long to bring her people back from what the mountain had done to them. To make men out of Reapers. Could it be that this women had the power to bring hope back to her people. Had found salvation for those who were taken from her. 

She turned without a word and climbed back down the ladder, she needed time to process what had happened, and what it would mean for her and her people.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I will be dropping a few extra chapters over the next few days as I try to complete the backlog on this story. I'm debating if I should continue with season three in the same process (translating Lexa's POV to what the actual show is offering) and start a second story with what my view of what happens after Clark walks away from Camp Jaha is. 
> 
> Any thoughts or comments on this are mightily appreciated!

They made their way back to camp. She lead the walk back not waiting for any of her people to follow. Gustus as always caught up to her quickly, matching her stride at her side, head bowed slightly as he reached her. “Orders, Heda?” He questioned.

“Bring the Skaiprisa, I will speak with her in my tent. Let the others go back to their people.” She paused reflectively before continuing, looking up from the path they were on. “Tell the army to stand down. Wait for my command.” He nodded twice before turning back towards the rest of the group behind them. 

She reached her tent in half the time that it took for them to get to the metal ship. She couldn’t have put enough distance between herself and the field of death quick enough. She walked in to her private space, her guards barely having time to salute her before she had passed through the flap of her tent. 

She finally let out a gust of air, feeling that for the first time since she had stepped into that metal building, she was able to breath. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her two index fingers, trying to relieve some of the pressure in her brain. She squeezed her eyes in concentration, trying to make sense of the images in her mind. 

“Is that our ship?” Clark made her way to the table that held the typography of the land they were on. 

Startled, Lexa nodded not turning around right away. Giving herself a moment of composure, she inhaled deeply before turning. She slowly made her way over towards the table, watching the blondes movements carefully. Her people had such faith in her, and suddenly it clicked in as to why. She felt an unfamiliar rousing in her stomach, as if it was trying to hold on as the world shifted under her. She stared at Clark, trying to gather her thoughts, she seemed to be enveloped in an odd light, something that seemed to emanate from her, one that she had not seen in such a long time. Not since…she shook her head lightly to draw the thought out of its place. Lexa walked around the table where Clark stood, gawking at the map. 

“Its so. Ornate. You have everything here. How long have you been watching us?” She asked, finally raising her eyes. Lexa gave no response, merely stood and watched her. 

“Lincoln’s recovery was….” Lexa fought to keep her composure, “impressive.” She watched Clarks face closely, “no ones ever survived such a fate before.”

Clark raised her eyebrows before answering, “its not complicated really, we just have to keep them alive for the drug to leave their system.” Lexa stared impassively, not knowing what she was speaking of exactly; but not wanting to give that away. “I know we can do the same to others.”

Lexa stared back giving a moments pause before answering. “You may have your truce.” She answered flatly. Thinking through her plan quietly.

“Thank you!” Relief washed over Clarks face as unshed tears sprang to her eyes. Lexa was slightly startled at the emotion that Clark showed. Memories of Octavia sprang to her mind once again, how easy it was for her to show emotion. To not hide behind a mask.

She was thrown once again by her personal reaction to emotion being showed so freely, staring into blue eyes. Will my body ever stop reacting like this? she wondered silently, why does she have this effect on me? “I just need one more thing in return.” Lexa paused briefly to allow Clark a moment to understand her next words. 

“Tell me” She replied, her face indicating her willingness to give anything to stop the bloodshed.

“Deliver me the one you called Fin. Our truce begins with his death.” Lexa waited for Clark to stop shaking her head, for recognition of the request to take place. She waited patiently for her to understand what was needed. 

Raw emotion overtook Clarks face. She took an involuntary step back at her request, “No” she whispered quietly. 

“It is the only way.” Lexa responded flatly. “The choice is yours Klark.” She made her way to her tents exit, pulling the flap open. “My men will escort you back safely.” Clark turned to face her, her mouth opened in an attempt to respond, but nothing came out. “You do not have much time to decide Klark, make your choice wisely.” 

“I won’t let him be murdered” Clark responded softly, not meeting Lexa’s eyes as she passed through the tent flap.

“He made his choice, Klark. He killed innocent people” Lexa responded, searching for her eyes, trying to make her understand the gravity of the situation they were both in. “Now you must make yours”. She closed the flap, and walked towards her chair to wait for her decision. She hoped that Clark would be smart, that she would bring him to her to pay his debt. 

She sat in silence, letting the sounds of life outside her tent bring a sense of calm to her unease. She replayed the look of terror on clarks face, the way she seemed to shudder at her request. Why was this so hard for her to consider? Sacrifice one to save many, it was the smart decision, the one that would allow them to avoid unnecessary conflict. She shook her head, she needed another way to connect with these people, this clan. 

She bit the tip of her nail on her left thumb mindlessly as she thought through potential plans. She weighed her options carefully. She needed a way to speak to them, while not risking her position as the commander. The smallest hint of weakness would cause massive upheaval in her coalition. something she could never risk. 

She stood suddenly, hit with a brilliant idea and made her way quickly out of the tent and across the field.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for missing my posts yesterday. Work caught up with me and I did not have a chance to post anything!

She found him, sitting with a group of children. Their laughs rang sweetly across the field, the stark difference in their innocence paled to the preparations for war that were happening around them. 

“Lexa!” Kane smiled warmly upon seeing her. The children gasped slightly at the lack of formality in his greeting, then burst into a fit of giggles.

She narrowed her eyes and grimaced inwardly before responding, “Walk with me, Marcus.” She turned and began to walk towards the outskirt of the field as far from the young ears as possible and waited for him catch up to her. 

“I noticed your army is still here.” he stated breathlessly. 

Lexa nodded once, turning to survey the land before her. “It appears there is more behind your Skaiprisa then I had originally thought.” She turned to look at him, his face betraying his confusion. “Klark.” She watched as recognition took over his face. “She is…” she searched for the right words, “quite impressive.” She frowned slightly at her choice of words, but didn't add anything else.

“She is?” he asked, then quickly correcting himself, “She is.” nodding affirmatively along with Lexa, a small smile gracing his face. 

“She has offered something that I find hard to turn down, it has opened the doors for the possibility of a truce” she stated, watching his reaction. 

“This is great news!” He exclaimed, excitement rolling off of him in waves. He is a strange person, Lexa thought as she watched his features change. He wants to so desperately save his people, but he can’t seem to think through his actions. “Does this mean I can go home now? Back to my people?” he asked, rocking slightly on his heels. 

“Have you enjoyed your time here?” she ignored his question, turning away from facing him and redirecting it towards the field again. 

He nodded, “I am thankful for your kindness.” he softly responded, “your people have been very kind, despite” he hedged briefly, his tongue gliding across his teeth, “everything going on.” 

“My people” she turned squarely with him, “are not monsters, Marcus of the Skaikrü. We must make hard choices in order to survive. It is all we know.” She placed her hand on her sword, not as a hostile gesture, but merely as a habit, before leaning back on her heels. “It was my hope that you would see that, and help me translate it to your people.” 

Kane nodded slowly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, why does he fidget so much? she wondered as she watched his hands go from his eyes to his sides, then back to rubbing his chin. “I have no doubt that we can learn much from each other. I sincerely believe that this truce is the best decision.”

Lexa shook her head, “it can only happen, Marcus, if there is an answer for the death of the 18.” 

“What do you mean?” he scrunched his brow slightly.

“The truce will stand once Fin’s life has been forfeited. My people will not allow it to happen in any other way.” She answered, matter of factly.

“I don’t understand?” he asked.

“If Klark does not hand over the one called Fin, the truce will not stand and your people will be destroyed.”

The same look of horror crossed his face as it had Clarke’s, but on a smaller scale, he was quicker to recover. “Are you sure there is no other way?” 

Lexa merely nodded in response, letting everything sink in. A few moments later, she finally stated, “My scouts are watching your people” she raised an eyebrow slightly, “they move guns up to the wall.” She keeps her gaze steady, her mask in place, “I offer a generous peace, and they prepare for war.” 

“With all due respect” He cocked he head slightly, trying to maintain her gaze “When we are threatened, our first instinct is to defend ourselves. In that, we are very much like you. Give my people more time.” He watched her intently, as if trying to read her thoughts before adding, “Please”.

She thought about his offer, about how quickly things had escalated and gotten out of hand. However unnatural the conditions felt, the sky people did not fight fair, they did not follow any standard rules for war and could quite frankly, not be trusted. “Time to strengthen your defenses?” she responded, watching his reaction carefully. 

He took a tentative step forward, his hands reaching out towards her as if to grasp an understanding between them, “No. Time to understand the generosity of your offer”

Lexa stared back at him impassively for a moment before responding, “Indra believes that there can be no understanding between skai people and tri people. That we are born of different worlds.” 

He nodded his head as she finished, “Indra is right, we are born of different worlds, but we…” he paused briefly, his passion getting in the way of his ability to speak, “We have to share one world now!” 

Lexa eyed him carefully before turning to walk away, “This is our way, Marcus. Your people leave me no other choice.” she shook her head slightly, “and my people will not except anything less then complete revenge for the lives lost.”

“Skaïkru en Trikru ogether” (Sky crew and Tree crew together). Marcus begged, his eyes wide with fear as he searched her face for some kind of confirmation. “Maybe we can learn to understand each other. All i’m asking for, is a little more time”

Lexa turned to stare at him, taking in his words. “It is out of my hands, Marcus.” She answered simply, averting her eyes from his gaze.

“I am still Chancellor, I can fix this. Please! Let me speak to them! I can give your people the justice they seek.” Marcus begged, his eyes wide with fear. 

Lexa measured him carefully, noticing the light sheen of sweat that had appeared on his forehead. So far, her faith had not been misplaced she thought. “Ok.” she said simply, turning away from him again as she began walking back towards her tent. 

He stood dazed, “ok?” he asked, confused. 

“Ok, Marcus. Go. Convince your people to do what is best.” She nodded once, turning to meet his gaze. “I must warn you, however, if you fail to speak sense to them, the consequences will be catastrophic.”


	15. Chapter 15

She had sent two riders with Clark, with express directions to return the murderer unharmed. He must pay for his crimes the only way her people knew how; his life must be forfeit. Now, she sat waiting for them to return. She had decided they had until the mist cleared, hoping the clearing of the day would give the Sky people the clarity that they needed. 

Gustus stepped into her tent nodding as she whipped her head up. “It is time, Heda.” 

She stood and walked out of her tent, Gustus following behind her. “Where is he?” she asked to no one in particular. 

Gustus pointed down the hill to Marcus Kane, his hands being unbounded in preparation for him to leave. She watched as he was roughly pushed forward, his gate tripped up by the force. She watched him leave, ambling along in a sort of half run, half walk. She looked over the clearing, the mist was lifting slowly, it was time. “Sound the horn.” She ordered as his head disappeared finally from her sight, she turned and went back to her tent to wait for the riders return. 

She hated waiting. Hated sitting for a definitive answer. She could deal with a yes or a no. It was the maybe’s that killed her. That caused her to sit listlessly. She was mildly aware of the horn blowing, signaling the command for the riders to return. Hopefully not empty-handed. 

Minutes dragged by that felt like hours before Indra stepped into her tent wild eyes full of frustrated fury, “Heda, they are refusing to give over the boy”. She leaned back in her chair and watched her pace across the tent. Lexa couldn’t help but see the panther in her as she stalked the tents floor. “We should destroy them where they stand now, Heda! They must answer for the lives they have taken! They are making a mockery of you!”

Lexa raised her hand to silence Indra as the two guards she had sent to retrieve Finn entered her tent. She paused, reflectively giving Indra a moment to collect herself once more. “Only the boy” she paused looking Indra in the eye, “can pay for what the boy has done.” she turned her attention to the riders, “is this true? Do they refuse to turn him over?” 

“Ja, Heda.” One of them replies, bowing his head. “They claim to be ready for to fight for his life.”

She needed a way to stop the bloodshed, to take advantage of what the sky people could do for her, for her people. If it could mean the end of the mountain men, the end of her people disappearing and a final unity of all clans, anything was worth that price. 

“Heda, they make a mockery of you! You have shown them enough weakness” Indra declared, her hand on the hilt of her sword, “Let me show them how strong you are!” 

Lexa turned away from her, her mind churning through possible solutions. No matter what scenario, any mercy she showed them would end in her death. She saw no other way. “We will wait for Marcus to speak sense to them.” She stated flatly, watching Indra bristle at her statement. 

“He will do nothing to change their outcome” she countered quickly.

“Prepare your men. We will give them until morning.” Lexa stood, moving towards the map on the table, “keep an eye on the camp, if someone so much as breathes outside their wire walls, I want to know about it” 

Indra nodded pleased and left, calling the group of generals together just outside her tent and giving out orders. Lexa sighed deeply after she was finally alone, a mixture of anxiety and anticipation mixing in her chest was making it hard to breath. 

“You hope for to much” Gustus said suddenly from the entrance of her tent.

Lexa whipped around, surprised by the sudden intrusion, his ability mask himself when he wanted to not be heard always kept her on her toes. She quickly masked her face, maintaining a stone look as he crossed the space slowly. “I have no other option but to hope to avoid the unnecessary deaths of my people.” 

“Do you really think that Marcus will change the outcome?” he asked warily as he gently pushed a stone on the map. “He is weak. Like they are weak. By aligning with them, you will appear weak as well”

Lexa ground her teeth to keep herself from answering, she felt the muscles in her jaw clench tightly at the accusation. After a moment of silence, she finally responded. “Was it a weakness to unite the clans?” she asked bitterly.

“Of course not”, he answered quickly, “but to unite with outsiders?” He shook his head, “you are pushing the boundaries of even what Heda can do. There is already talk of concern, if this talk reaches the Azgeda…” 

“You let me worry about the Azgeda” she bit back quickly. To quickly, it was clear he was getting under her skin.

“Death has no cost. Life has no worth.” he said quietly, “if they are to unite with us, then they must learn our ways.” 

Lexa knew he was right. Knew that if there was to be a truce that Finn must pay for his crimes against her people. It was the only way. And yet the sky people fought for this murderer, were willing to sacrifice themselves for his safety. “If they were all willing to die to save one man, what would they do to save each other?” she wondered aloud as Gustus dropped the stone he was playing with and watched it roll on the table. 

“I worry for your safety” He said softly, in nearly a whisper.

Lexa smiled warmly, reaching out to hold on to his arm. She waited until he turned to face her, concern written in his eyes, “what is there to worry about when I have you by my side Gustus?” She watched him nod, and could see the faintest traces of a smile under his beard. “Now, I am hungry, can you have them bring some food in?” 

He bowed slightly, before turning and exiting the tent. 

She could hear the flurry of activity outside the tents walls as she crossed to her private space. She sat wearily on the bed, letting her bones settle slightly at the action. She could hear the tent flap opening, and a tray being set on a table on the other side, but she didn't bother to get up. 

She wanted to sit in silence, to meditate for a few moments and clear her mind. She kicked her boots off and scooted back on the bed, laying down quietly on top of her furs. Relaxing her hands across her stomach, she closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing as she tried to block the rest of the world out. 

She let her mind wander, envisioned her home in Polis, the concrete walls, the bright colors. She thought of its contrast to TonDC, metal and color combined with the stark contrast of green and brown woods. A small smile graced her face at the two memories, the distinctions between both homes were stark when contrasted against each other, but they were home. 

She furrowed her brow slightly at the sudden intrusion of Clarks face. Perhaps she thought, I can take Klark to see Polis someday. She surprised herself, why would she take Clark to Polis? Their people would be at war soon, there would be no turning back. Why then, was she suddenly thinking of blue eyes and light blond hair? She furrowed her brow even deeper at the growing gnawing in the pit of her stomach. It was as if her body was trying to tell her something about Clark, some unknown clue that she had missed upon their meeting. She walked through their conversations in her mind, trying to remember any details that she might have missed that might help clue her in. Finding none, she frowned slightly. A gentle tickle in the back of her brain seemed to tell her to look again. She let out a frustrated puff of air as she tried to clear her mind and meditate. Slowly, and without her realizing it, she fell into a gentle sleep, dreaming of blonde hair and fierce blue eyes. 

She was startled awake quite suddenly by Indra calling her name. “Heda! There has been movement.” 

Lexa ran her hand across her face, trying to calm the sudden spike in anxiety. Her flight or fight response fully activated, she looked wildly around the room trying to understand what had happened. She cursed herself for falling asleep as she scooted herself down the bed to put her boots on. “Are they sending the boy?” she asked through the tent, grunting softly as her left boot got stuck at her heel, she pulled the armor hard and smiled as her heel made a satisfying thump at the bottom of her boot. 

“The opposite” Indra responded from the other side of the barrier, “they are moving him from the camp to where I can only assume is going to be the ‘ship’ that we went to”. 

Lexa sat up in her bed, her face furrowed at the news, this makes no sense, she questioned to herself, why would they move him there? “They must know that this move is pointless.” she said quietly, “They must know we will catch him there” she stood and made her way to the center of the tent, she nodded at Gustus who must have came in with Indra but had not made his presence known, “they must want his capture to be outside of their village.” 

Indra shrugged her shoulders as she pressed on, “there is more, the one called Abby wishes to speak to me.” 

Lexa sat in her chair, her hand on her chin as she listened to Indra, “a diversion, I’m sure.” 

“What would you have me do?” Indra asked, standing tall and firm. 

“Send out a small group of warriors, retrieve the boy.” Indra nodded her agreement, “Go. Meet with Abby, see what she wants.” Lexa looked up at Indra, watching her reaction carefully. “I trust your intuition Indra.” Indra nodded and turned to leave, “Just!” Lexa called out before she walked out of her tent, “if you could avoid unnecessary bloodshed, that would be most practical.” she added, watching a small cloud cover Indra’s features. 

“Gustus, go with and retrieve the boy. Make sure that he arrives alive. And unharmed.” she added before watching him turn and leave. 

She reached for the plate of food that had been left, and grabbed some bread from the plate, taking a bite and chewing pensively. What are you doing, Klark? she wondered to herself as she swallowed the bite, her mind racing at potential explanations for the turn in events.


	16. Chapter 16

It was nearly dark by the time Indra and Gustus had returned from their respective missions. She listened patiently as Indra relayed her encounter, something about this Abby had spoken to her and Lexa was pleased to hear that Indra had spared her life. Gustus reported that the boy handed himself over. No different from the way Marcus and Thelonius had. She was most confused by this turn of events, having expected the sky people to go to war to protect him, it was a pleasant to know that he had willingly handed himself over to spare his people. Perhaps there was reasoning with this clan after all.

She had ordered the preparation of his punishment, wood for the fire was to be collected, then the tools to collect repayment for the long debt of lives that he had accrused. The clasps for his hands, the ceremonial knife to be used to cut off his tongue, and the oval scoop to be used for his eyes. She would waste no time in carrying out his punishment. If she was to bring him back to the village, the boy would be cut to pieces by those who grieved, prolonging his torture. She hoped to be done with this business quickly, letting his passing be the last blood that would be shed between the two clans. 

By doing it here, there would be less people willing to step forward to cut him. Less pain for his to have to suffer through. While a poor substitute for the loss of someone from the clan, death by a thousand cuts allowed those who were in mourning a physical way to deal with their pain. It helped avoid additional bloodshed between villagers as one family tried to get retribution with another family. Without such an extreme form of punishment, inter clan wars would increase as everyone took revenge upon themselves. It also served as a heavy deterrent from future clan on clan crimes. 

It was her job to carry out the unfortunate task of this punishment, but that didn't mean that she wanted to see another human suffer; even if he had murdered so many of her own. She would be the final stab, the one to end his life completely and give him grace from the pain. If she was lucky though, he would pass well before it came to that. 

She stepped out of her tent. Dusk had came and went and nightfall had settled in its place. Her warriors had torches lit, lighting the black space up with an amber glow. She surveyed the work being done to secure the post and grimaced inwardly at its location. It stood facing the Skaïkru camp, giving them complete visual access to their ceremonies. It was not her idea to have it set up this way, but she didn't argue against its location either. If it was up to her, she would have kept this matter private, she knew already that neither clan trusted each other; this would not help matters. 

“Bring the boy” she ordered to no one in particular, her eyes trained on the singular pole that ominously stood, waiting.

Gustus moved to her side and pointed towards a lone figure walking out of the Skaïkru camp, blonde hair blowing with the speed in which she approached. She watched as warriors parted slowly for her, a sea of black parting for a blonde beauty, she whimsically thought to herself as she watched her reach Indra. She said nothing as she strained to hear what was said between them. The blonde pushing against Indra’s spear, a small trickle of red appeared on her shirt, displaying the intensity of her intent to reach her. 

“Let her pass” Lexa called out, watching Clark push once more against Indra’s blade. She was impressed with her resilience, her refusal to back down. She waited for Clark to reach her before speaking in a quiet tone, “You bleed for nothing” she stated flatly, trying to get Clark to understand, “you cannot stop this”.

“No, only you can.” Clarks eyes begged her, piercing blue implored her to understand. Suddenly her people’s cheers could be heard, she knew that the prisoner was being brought out, Lexa refused to turn to face him, watching Clark’s horror play across her face. “Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful.” Her voice dropped nearly an octave as she reached out gently, “Show them you're not a savage”. 

Lexa was caught slightly off guard by the emotion in her voice, the pain in her eyes. But this was beyond her now, even as Commander. She needed to avenge innocents death, and she needed to keep her people together. Perhaps that was all they were, savage, ruthless, death carriers; but it was what allowed them to survive. “We are what we are” she answered, her eyes imploring Clark to understand her hands were bound. All around her, warriors were shouting for vengeance, for retribution, she could not stand down now. 

“Then I am a killer.” Clark bit back, her voice desperate, “I burned 300 of your people. I slit a mans throat and watched him die”. Lexa watched as desperation and fear was replaced with anger and sadness. A sadness that Lexa understood as a life of unfair decisions and desperate choices lead them both to sacrifice themselves for those around them. “I’m soaked in grounder blood”, Clark’s eyes shone brightly against the flames around them, glossy from unshed tears, her request was simple, “take me”.

Lexa watched all this emotion play out, she was slightly taken aback by the passion from the blonde. It did nothing, however, to change the facts of the case, “but Finn is guilty” she repeated quietly. She could do nothing to change his course. His fate was sealed, he murdered in cold blood, the reasons why mattered not; justice must be paid. 

“No!” Clark suddenly exploded, causing Lexa to jump back slightly at the outburst. “He did it for me!” Tears welded up in Clarks eyes again as her shoulders slumped in defeat. Lexa’s heart broke silently for the poor women in front of her, “He did it for me!” she cried out once more, pure emotion cutting through the air. 

Lexa’s eyes searched Clark’s, hoping for her to understand. This was the only way, the easiest way for all of them to move forward. There was no other option if she wanted to move forward in peace. “Then…” Lexa holds her mask on, despite Clark’s begging threatening to stir something inside her, “he dies for you”, she answered simply.

Silence filled the valley suddenly. It was deafening in its intensity. Skaïkru and Trikru watched, waiting, anticipating charging the air with a new sense of electricity. She watched this woman before her, marveling slightly at her ability to pull from within her emotions she was not familiar with. What was it about this Skaiprisa that made her want to be better, do better for her people? What was this strange pull she felt towards her? She watched Clark composed herself taking a few deep breathes, “can I say goodbye?” she asked, emotion catching slightly in her voice. There is something there however, something in the way her eyes glisten slightly. Some strength that draws her in and chokes her slightly with its unexpected strength.

Lexa saw her hand twitch out of the corner of her eye, the odd way she is holding her arm, hardly moving it. The sudden hope in her eyes. Recognition takes hold as she realizes what Clark could have done, what she is about to do. She simply nods her approval, knowing how difficult this will be for the blonde. She maintains her distance, watching her approach their prisoner. 

She watches Clark quickly close the distance with the boy, grabbing his head and pulling him in for a kiss. Something in her stirs at the action, what is this feeling? she wonders to herself as she watches, her head cocked slightly in analysis. She cannot hear their words can only watch as Clark hugs him tightly, tears streaming down her face. 

She thinks of Costia. Not consciously at first, but the image of her face creeps up into her consciousness. She watches Clark hold him close, and she remembers. She never had that opportunity. To say goodbye to Costia. To hold her before her last breath is drawn. Costia was innocent, and yet she paid for her sins. Her heart shifts as she draws in an uneven breath, watching his head drop slowly onto Clarks shoulders. 

Clark takes a step back, her eyes squeezed shut, her hand soaked in blood. 

It takes less then a minute for her warriors to react. She hears them cry out, see’s Indra raise her spear high above her head, ready to throw it at Clark. “It is done.” Lexa holds her hand out, as if to create a force field between Clark and the oncoming onslaught of warriors. Lexa looks at Clark, who stands in shock, her body swaying slightly under the weight of what she has done.

Off in the distance someone is screaming “NO!”, the anguish in that voice causes a small chill to make its way down her back as a brief reminder of her own anguished cries for Costia, as if they were reaching out to her from the dark depths.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it seems that there is no real opinion on how I should continue this storyline. So I am going to keep this as my interpretation of The 100 storyline, and start a new one on my interpretation of what happens after season two ends. 
> 
> Hopefully, this works for you! 
> 
> Also, I truly appreciate the Kudo's as well. Knowing that people are reading, and liking it enough to come back and read some more, really warms my heart!

No one moves. Lexa is minutely aware of a breeze blowing softly through them, but she can’t feel it. Instead, it feels as if the air is stifled, hot in the wake of what has been done. She shakes her head softly to try and clear the air around her, before taking a step towards Clark. Gustus moves with her, his hand on his dagger, ready to take the blonde down at the slightest inclination. Lexa is not worried however, she has seen that look before. Has born it herself once, after Costia’s death. 

She moves slowly towards her, her hands outstretched slightly, as if wading through the dense air. When she reaches Clark, she says nothing, merely wrapping her hands around her warm shoulders and turns her towards her tent. Clark does not resist, she walks along with her. Her eyes blank to the world around her. Indra turns towards her warriors, pushing them back silently, ordering them to fall back amidst a protest of angry cries. 

“Get her mother, or Marcus Kane.” she directs to Gustus, who stood at the entrance of her tent, unmoving, blocking her ability to move forward. He was clearly displeased at what had happened. She couldn't be sure if it was at himself for allowing Clark to come so near to pulling a dagger on her, or at Lexa for allowing Clark to enact a punishment that was reserved for her people. Either way, she knew that she would have to figure out a way to bridge Gustus and Clark’s relationship later. She needed them to like each other just as much as she needed Indra and Gustus to get along.

He nods imperceptibly and moves aside, giving her just enough room to walk through. It takes no time for her to walk Clark through her tent, with soft coos, she manages to wrench the dagger free from her bloody iron grasp. The first flicker of acknowledge crosses her face briefly, but is quickly masked again behind dead eyes. 

Lexa watches her closely, gently moving a strand of hair away from her face as she whispers her name, “Klark. Klark?” nothing. She frowns at the inaction. “Klark, I need you to sit.” she gently moves her to a box, letting her body slowly fall. 

She grabs a rag from off the table and places it gently in Clarks hand, waiting for some kind of reaction, but receiving none. She lets out a sigh, running her hand through her hair absentmindedly. This will not do, she thinks to herself, this will not do at all.

“I recognize that look”, he says softly as Lexa gently tucks the same strand behind Clarks ear again. It never ceases to amaze her how such a large man could hide himself so seamlessly in the shadows when he did not want to be seen. His face showed a wary concern for Clark as he looks her over. “I saw that look upon your face when we found…”

“Don’t!” Lexa hisses out quickly. For some reason, hearing Costia’s name right now seemed like to much. As if it would destroy whatever fragile hold both she and Clark were holding on to. Lexa moves from the catatonic girl, frustration creeping through her wary bones. “When she is ready, we will deal with the repercussions of her actions.” she states, before walking past Gustus and out into the fresh air. 

She nearly crashes into Indra, who quickly steps back, apologizing, “Heda!” Lexa grunts softly pushing past her, she needed to clear her head. “What of the prisoner?” Indra asks to her back.

She pauses, looking up at the sky and inhaling deeply. “Cut him down.” is all she offers.

“She needs to pay for this.” Indra demands in a low voice, her eyes shifting out to see if any of the warriors around them were listening. “She has denied my village its retribution!”

“He has paid for his crime” Lexa answers flatly.

Indra visibly recoils at her statement, “his death has not paid for the crimes he had committed. Our people will demand answers, they deserve answers!” she spit back.

Lexa grabs her staff that was leaning against her tent, feeling the warm wood as she ran her hand across the carefully crafted piece. She tried to imagine what to do, what the smart thing is to do and how each possible decision could impact or effect her peoples future. All she could think of was the pain and the suffering that seemed to never end. She was angry that there seemed to be no end in sight to the torment that her people faced. Why does every decision lead to torment? she fumed to herself. “Cut him down and wrap the lifeless form. No harm shall come to the body. Am I clear, Indra?” Her voice lowered nearly an octave as her eyes burned into Indra’s, waiting briefly for Indra to shrink back slightly and nod twice her understanding. 

Its as far as she can think or process right now, she walked past Indra, not bothering to wait for her to respond any further. She walks towards the tree line using the staff in hands haphazardly to help pull herself up. As she neared them, warriors moving out of her way, saying nothing but offering a simple nod as they moved. The whole world is upside down, she thinks as she looks out over the sky peoples camp. How can one woman cause so much chaos? 

From her position on the hill, she can see two figures running up from the camp. She watches Gustus wave them through and can only assume that its the woman named Abby and Marcus Kane. They are pushed through the crowd of warriors quickly, she could see the fear on Abby’s face as she approached the tent. She fights the urge to run her hand across her own face. She doesn't want to give anything away right now, and rubbing her carefully placed war mask would definitely give something away; especially while she's surrounded by her people who were watching her carefully. Instead, she stands motionless, watching her tent, waiting. 

She turns her eyes up towards the heavens, looking at the stars above. Strange that the sky seemed to have cleared suddenly, letting the stars twinkle shine through despite the previous haze that had covered both the land and sky. She glances at the moon, its form half visible. She stared at it, scrutinizing it closely. How much has this moon witnessed? she thought to herself, how many crimes done in the cover of darkness has it seen? What must it think of what humanity has done to itself. Do other nations fight as we do? Shaking her head, she forced herself out of her revery. No time for that tonight, she needed to focus on the task at hand. “One thing at a time” she said to herself, under her breath as she walked back towards her tent. 

Gustus sees her make her way down the hill, quickly disappearing into her tent. By the time she reaches its borders, he steps out and nods once to her as Indra appears from the side, her hand still on her weapon. She takes a deep breath and enters the tent a few steps behind Gustus with Indra at her side

She pulls open the heavy red curtain, letting her eyes quickly adjust to the light. She searches for Clark and is pleased to see her standing now, catching her gaze, her face red from tears that she was struggling to swallow and hide. Silently, she walks past her to her throne, and waits until she is seated and movement in the room has stopped. “Blood has answered blood. Some on my side say that is not enough.” she feels Indra shift to her left slightly at her statement. “They wanted the murdered to suffer as our tradition demands, but they do not know that your suffering will be worse.” Clarks eyes drop slightly, getting a hazy look as she seems to get lost in her own thoughts. “What you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days.” she adds, knowing full well the feeling that Clark has, and the struggle she is about to go through. She knows only to well the torment that is about to fill every moment in Clarks life. “Still, there will be restitution” Lexa continues, pushing past as Clark appears to clear her own head, her face stoic once more. “The body will be given to the people of TonDC. “Murderer and and murdered will burn by fire. Only then can we have peace”. 

“No. no we have done enough” Kane responds, “the boy should be buried by his own people”. 

“Enough?” Indra responds for her, “we were owed the pain of 18 deaths. We were owed our righteous kill.” She can feel Indra’s anger rising with each breath, “My village deserves justice.” 

“You don’t want justice.” Abby responds, voice hoarse with unshed emotion, “You want vengeance.”

Indra steps forward at the insult, “You have not seen my vengeance.” she growls out, hand at the hilt of her weapon once again. 

Lexa hardly hears the argument taking place, she is lost in Clark. Watching her carefully, gauging her as she stands before her, in between Kane and Abby she appears so young, so fragile. Clark’s eyes suddenly meet her own, and for a brief moment, Lexa holds her breath. She feels that pull again, as if they could communicate without speaking. Two Commanders sharing the struggle of leading their people. Forced to make choices that offer not fair resolution or alternative. 

“We’ll do it.” Clark speaks up, taking a small step forward. Clark surprises her by agreeing to do it. This woman is full of surprises, Lexa thinks to herself as she watched the emotion remove itself from Clarks eyes. “But when its over, we talk about how to get our people out of Mount Weather.” Clark demands, “all our people”. 

“We want the same things, Klark.” Lexa responded softly, she felt for the pain that she had seen in the blondes eyes, filling the lovely blue with a strange blackness that only she could recognize. She knew all to well the horror that would await her dreams. 

“Good” Clark jut her chin up slightly, pulling whatever reserved strength she had, “when do we leave?”

“Now.” Lexa responded, not taking her eyes off the blond as she stands up, ready for this emotional meeting to be over, “Choose your attendants” She walks past Clark who sniffles her response quietly, she keeps her staff in hand, as she prepares to give orders for her men to prepare to leave. 

She did not wait for Clark to exit the tent, instead turning to Indra and Gustus, “prepare the horses, my tent, and half the warriors, we leave at once. We will leave half the men here to watch over the ski peoples actions. I want guards and sentry’s positioned.” Gusts nodded silently once before turning to leave. She turned to Indra, “grab the body, wrap it and prepare it to leave with us.” Indra growled slightly her response turning to walk away before Lexa grabs her arm, “no harm comes to the body.” she raise her eyebrows, watching Indra’s face carefully. Indra simply nodded, averting her gaze as Lexa let go of her arm. 

This is going to be a long night, Lexa thought to herself, as she looks towards Finn’s body that was now laying on the ground, a young woman gently cradling his head in her arms while she sobbed softly.


	18. Chapter 18

They left as quickly as they could get everything prepared, but it would still in the early hours of dawn before they reached the outskirts of TonDc. Her people would gladly march all night long to get home, but the sky people were not the same. They would have to stop and let the sky people rest, or risk one of them collapsing in exhaustion. A small group of her warriors, a few carts of supplies, and a handful of sky people who Clark had decided would join her ranks, all trudged along the well worn path. She could clearly see exhaustion had settled on the sky peoples bodies, even if their backs were to her. 

A young girl named Raven had not left the bodies side since it had been wrapped up and placed on the cart, she sat next to it and watched the lifeless form carefully as if it would suddenly spring up and speak. She did not speak, merely glared at any of her people who dared approached, and Clark who walked quietly behind the cart.

What she was most displeased with was the inclusion of the boy named Bellamy to Clarks personal guard. She had voiced her disagreement to him coming, but Clark was adamant to have him by her side. She swallowed her opposition, knowing that she would find another way to have him pay for what he did to Lincoln, who had also suddenly appeared. She had not approached him yet, nor he her. She was surprised that he was here, some part of her had hoped he had fled to the shores and was tucked safely with Luna’s people. She knew deep down though, that he would never abandon his people, nor would he abandon his love. She would need to figure out a way to deal with his betrayal to Indra and her clan, but now was not the time for that. 

They continued to walk along in silence, her eyes rarely leaving the blonde ahead of her, she watched as Clark’s body suddenly stopped and went rigid. She squinted slightly to try and get a better glimpse of the figure, then traced Clarks eye line to the empty brush on the side of the road. Bellamy seemed to notice the sudden action as well, and asked her something that she couldn't quite make out. She watched what appeared to be a heated debate carry on between the two, Clarks body tensing slightly once again. Gustus at her side sighed heavily at the sudden slowing down that was happening before them. 

“Nou get yu daun, Gostos” (Stop worrying, Gustus) she said without taking her eyes off the blonde ahead of them, “bilaik yu don tel ai op otaim, alek alliances laik riske” (like you always tell me, all alliances are risky).

Disha ste nou the same as uniting the tua clans” (This is not the same as uniting the twelve clans) Gustus replies in a low voice “Disha Skaïkru nosam. Emo're mo like the Maunon than osir” (The sky people are different. They more like the mountain people then us) he reminded her again as his eyes perpetually scanned the tree line for threats, “Em could kill so congrauo” (This could kill our coalition).

Lexa smiled inwardly at his concern again, always the watchdog, she mused to herself, “Oso congrauo,” (our coalition) she turned in her saddle to face him, “o ai? (or me?) she smirks through her question, already knowing his response. 

He turned shocked at her question, pausing before responding with a slight wave of emotion in his voice, “Yuso da congrauo, Heda” (you are the coalition, Heda).

Lexa nodded in response knowing she was doing what needed to be done, “Den du yu tro op en klir ai” (then do your job and protect me) she responded, half in jest, a comfortable silence falling between them. 

By nightfall, she can clearly see the wariness on the sky people. Their shoulders sagged and their steps were heavy and they seemed to falter more, tripping on nothing as they marched forward. Turning to Gustus, “Osir beda nou hir gon the sheidgeda” (we should stop here for the night). She watches him nod once, then kick his horse to a gallop, reaching the front of the line quickly and commanding them to stop. Indra replaces Gustus at her side, “sis em au, gev Skaikrü a faya.” (Help them out, build the sky crew a fire). She says quietly as Indra leans in, “give them plenty of space to feel safe”. Indra rolls her eyes slightly at the order, but does not argue. She begins to shout orders at her warriors, as the Skaïkru suddenly huddle together, confusion written on their faces. 

She rides up to Clark, who looks at her questioningly, “We will stop and rest here tonight” 

“We don’t need to rest” Clark responds quickly, despite the weariness in her voice. 

Lexa fights the urge to roll her eyes at the absurd statement, knowing full well that Clark is simply putting on airs, wanting to appear strong in front of the Trikru warriors. “It is not a question Klark. We will rest here tonight, my people will help you build fires and give your people a place to sleep.” With that, she kicked her horse up and gallopes away, not giving Clark a change to respond. 

“We should hunt.” Indra suggested as she caught up to the front with her and Gustus. 

Lexa nodded her approval, climbing down from her horse as Indra gathered a small group that quickly disappeared into the woods. Gustus neared her keeping his voice low, “we should not venture far, Maunon could be in the tri” he looked anxiously around, his eyes never stopping to rest for very long on any specific spot. 

“Set up a patrol, and keep the Skaïkru in your sights. I don’t need them wandering off and ruining our chances at an alliance.” she ordered, petting the neck of her horse absentmindedly. “We will not stay here long. Give them time to rest, and we will leave at first light” He nods twice before turning and walking down the path, gathering the remaining warriors to him. 

“He’s…um” Clark is suddenly standing a few feet behind her, “he’s really pretty” she hears her husk out quietly. 

“She.” Lexa corrects without turning, gliding her hand softly over the soft hair of her horses main. 

She can hear Clark shifting behind her, “Oh! Right, sorry” Clark responds, “She.” she can feel a small level of discomfort from the blonde, “I didn’t look close enough. Just kind of assumed, sorry”. 

Lexa turned slowly, keeping her hand on her mare as she scrutinized Clark. “Would you like to pet her?” she asks suddenly, surprising herself with the offer. 

Clark’s eyes widen slightly at the idea, as she sucks her bottom lip, appearing to contemplate the idea. “I would, Actually.” She nods once, as if convincing herself, “She's beautiful” she repeats again without moving, “I have yet to see one so free of mutations. Is it rare to have an animal with no abnormalities?” Lexa doesn't respond, trying to grasp the question she was asking but half of the words she used didn’t translate for her; instead she just continues to stare impassively. Clark adds as she takes a tentative step forward. “I’ve never touched a real horse before.”

Lexa tries to keep her composure at the admission, never touched a horse? she wonders to herself as she watches Clark reach her hand out gingerly. She comes within an inch of placing her fingertips on the white mares rear side, before her horse shifts from one foot to the other, effectively scaring Clark’s hand away. 

“Here” Lexa offers, grabbing her hand and pulling Clark towards her, “you should always approach a horse from the front, so she can see you”. She instructs her, gently placing her hand on top of Clarks, and moving it towards the mares neck. Clarks fingers follow under the Commanders, as she gently guides her hand down the soft hair. 

A luminous smile slowly lights up Clarks face, as she watches her hand glide down, “its softer then I expected” she whispers, as if afraid to scare the horse. She watches her hand glide up and down on its own a few times as she retracts her own hand in the process. Suddenly the mare turns to investigate the stranger petting her. Her head suddenly turning and craning to smell Clark. 

Clark for her part jumps back at the horses intrusion, grabbing on to Lexa’s arm for protection as a small yelp escapes her lips. Lexa has to bite her cheeks to keep from laughing at the odd behavior, but she does not move away from Clark’s grasp. She patiently waits for Clark to realize that she is not in danger, watching her expression change from one of fear to delight as she reaches her hand out once again, letting the mare smell her. 

“She is quite gentle” Lexa coaxes as Clark releases her grip. She furrows her brow slightly at the unexpected cold feeling that now stands where Clark’s warm frame was. Clark nods as she takes another step forward, letting both hands glide down the horse neck, wrapping her fingers in the mane. “If you have never touched a horse, then you have never ridden one.” Lexa says as a statement of fact rather then a question. 

Clark turns towards her, keeping her hand intertwined the with mane, her fingers flexing lightly at the soft hair, “Does she have a name?” she asks. 

Lexa doesn’t say anything in response. She can feel Clark staring at her, waiting. She is not accustomed to having her own questions ignored, no matter how arbitrary they might be. “We are not in the habit of naming animals,” Lexa answers in a clear voice. Clark frowns at the answer, clearly displeased with the response. “It does not make sense to get attached to a creature, no matter how useful it may be”, she explains quickly. After another moments pause she finally relents and leans in, whispering curtly “Hecate”, annoyed with herself for giving in. 

Clark smiled broadly at the shared secret they now had, “Hecate” she says softly, as if feeling the sound out with her tongue. Lexa cocks her head slightly at the action, watching Clark intently. 

“Heda” Gustus appears on the other side of the mare, “we have organized the camp, your tent should be ready soon.” She can tell that he wants her to move away from Clark, to follow him to where her people are setting up, but she doesn't move. She nods to indicate she had heard him, and continues to pet Hecate, focusing her attention back to Clark. 

“Thank you” Clark doesn't look up from her hands, and says it so quietly Lexa wasn't sure if she had imagined it. Lexa does not respond, instead turning her attention to taking the saddle off of Hecate. Clark watches intently for a few moments, “is that how you ride?” she asks finally. 

Lexa stops her actions, letting the clip fall from her hands, “you sit here” she slaps the top of the saddle with her palm, “and your feet go here” she points to the stirrup with her other hand. “It’s quite simple really. I could teach you. If you’d like” she adds nonchalantly, watching for Clarks reaction out of the corner of her eye. 

“That would be…” Clark trails off, appearing to be at a loss for words, “awesome!” she says finally, smiling once more at Lexa. It was an odd exclamation of exuberance for the woman who was nearly catatonic in her tent a few hours before. 

She feels a slight dip in her stomach at the action and response, as if she was suddenly jumping off the edge of a cliff, her voice catching in her throat. She slides the saddle off in silence, then leaves with it in her arms, leaving Clark cooing softly at Hecate behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am super bothered by the fact that Clark and the others suddenly knew how to ride a horse. Not just how to ride a horse, but were super efficient and comfortable on these foreign animals. Hopefully, through the last chapter and the next few ones, I will bridge that gap for you my dear readers! 
> 
> It is taking me a little longer to write out the rest of the season, but I hope to continue to surprise you guys with extra chapters here and there. 
> 
> Once we catch up to season three, I will be posting a weekly update to match whatever happens in the episode. As I said before, I am going to use this story to continue to tell the story from Lexa's POV as directly related to what is happening on the show; and will be started a new story with my version of events starting after the end of season 2 from Lexa's POV. I like to be a few chapters ahead of what I post, so I will let you all know when I start posting that storyline as well! 
> 
> As always, thoughts, comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions are all incredibly important to me and I appreciate your time and devotion to reading!

The next morning, she is up before anyone else in the camp. She’s not sure if she actually woke up, or if she never went to sleep. Her body refused to calm itself, and after tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, she had decided it would be more practical to do something else then argue with her bed. She had thought to go for a walk, but upon poking her head out of her tent, she saw Clark laying alone by the fire, on her peoples side. She stared at the sleeping form, wondering what would possess her to sleep so far from her own clan. She could tell that Clark was not sleeping well, her brow was furrowed in a deep scowl and she seemed to twitch slightly in her sleep. 

She decided against walking for fear of waking the sleeping bodies and instead began practicing some defensive moves slowly, quietly in her tent. Moving through the offensive and defensive positions, she imagined a variety of scenarios in her mind and how she would move through them. 

It was something she did to help quiet the constant churning of thoughts, letting her body move, react, and sweat in a quiet space allowed her to clear her head of everything else and focus on her form. It felt to her as if she was winding a trap up, preparing herself to attack at even the slightest tremble in the ground. 

She felt her muscles tighten as she held certain poses, felt the strain on her body as she pushed through more complex moves. Dipping low and swooping back up quickly as if she was defending against an attacker. Curving her back and pressing herself agains the ground as she imagined having been knocked off her feet and needing to fight from the ground, she flipped herself back up quickly, countering imaginary moves with her arms and legs. She put the full weight of her body in each step, tightened and contracted each muscles as she moved gracefully around the space. Her mind blank of any other thought then the movement of steel as she imagined it clashing against steel. Her sword slashing expertly through the air, slicing it as sweat beaded down her face, stopping within an inch of some imagined space with perfect precision. It was a good feeling. 

By the time the rest of the camp was up, she had already done a full workout and succeeded in sweating through her tank top, which she took off and used to dry herself off. She redressed and was anxiously waiting to be informed that they were ready to move again. It would do no good for the sky people to see her anxious and worried about the future, but questions resurfaced once she had quieted her movements, and she couldn't help but feel lost in thought once again. 

What would the people of TonDC think of her bringing back the murderer without him having faced equal punishment. How would they react to her walking in with Clark? No, it would do no good for anyone to see a potential weak point in her normally flawless facade. She needed to spend as much time away from Skaïkru and Trikru as possible, despite the draw that one particular person seemed to have. 

Once Gustus poked his head into her tent, she knew that Hecate would be ready, and that the rest of the group would be waiting to go as well. She walked out before he even had a chance to utter a word, and mounted her horse; waiting for him to catch up to her. Even Gustus does not know the name of my mare, the amusing thought entered her mind and caused her to smile slightly as a flash of blond hair caught her eye. 

The rest of the walk was quiet, they arrive at TonDC without any incident of mountain man or Trikru. She couldn’t help the sudden rush of relief as they neared the gate, she would soon be behind protective walls and surrounded by her own people. As they approached the gate, she could hear shouts from the other side as a man walked up to take her horse to the stables. She dismounted with Gustus and Indra, gently patting the white haired mare as she turned to watch Gustus demand their weapons. 

Lincoln steps up first, willingly handing over his own knife as an example for the rest of the sky people. He kept his gaze averted from her, focusing his attention on Gustus only. She was reminded that she would need to deal with him later. For now, she had other matters on her mind. She amusingly watches as Gustus pulls out dagger after dagger from the small brunettes body. It was the first time she had seen her separate from the boy’s lifeless form, though her glare was still hard and unforgiving. She walked with some sort of hobble, perhaps it was the contraptions fault that she wore on her leg. From this distance, she couldn’t tell if it was helping or hindering the young woman. She waits until Gustus gives the all clear, before turning and walking through the gates first, Indra and Gustus at her flanks. 

She hears the welcoming shouts from her people as they see her, and braces herself for what she knows is coming next. “laik emo hir? (why are they here?) they shout, anger laced in each cry of dismay. She says nothing, keeping her head up as they pass through “Wan op Skaïkru” (Death to sky people) they shout as they pass through the group.

Lexa for her part continues to stare straight ahead, hoping that Clark and her people do the same. A man stands before her, blocking her way through the rest of the town, pain etched deeply in his face “Skaikru don jak eting op kom ai” (Sky people took everything from me), he does not only speak to her, but to the others around her, “My nomon. My yongon” (My wife. My child). 

Gustus speaks for her, demanding the man move, “Sep of” (move aside), but he does not. 

“Ripa laik nou welcomed hir” (Murderers are not welcomed here!) he responds through clenched teeth. 

Lexa cringes inwardly, she had hoped it would not come to this. the last thing she wants to do is cause harm to her own people, but examples must be made or else one protest will turn into hundreds. She couldn’t risk a riot starting because of one man’s pain. She turns towards Gustus and nods once. Her grip on the hilt of her sword tightening slightly as Gustus walks over to the man and punches him, knocking him down with one swift hit. 

Gustus grabs him by the collar of his shirt and begins to beat him, his blows landing squarely on the mans face who is powerless to stop him. She does not move despite the cries of alarm from her people. She does not move despite the physical pain that must be overcrowding the poor man. She instead looks past him, not wanting to see the senseless violence that she must enact as Heda. She aches for him, for all their pain, but she cannot be defied. 

Suddenly Clark is at her side, “Commander,” she breathes in her ear, her presence distracting her momentarily. She fights the urge to turn and face Clark, “stop him. Please.” She looks behind her before continuing, “They’ll blame us for this too.”

She gives Clark a sidelined glance, inhaling deeply through her frustration. She would just as well let him die at Gustus’s hand for his action, but she can’t argue against Clark’s point. “Teik em live” (let him live) she orders. She watches Gustus get off the man before she turns to speak to the crowd in English, wanting to make sure the sky people understood her words. “The sky people march with us now. Anyone who tries to stop that, will pay with their life.” Hard glares are her only answer; but she knows that no one would dare counter her now. Satisfied, she turns swiftly to continue towards the central guidepost, her temporary quarters for now. 

She enters the makeshift command center with Gustus and Indra in tow, no one saying a word at first. She begins pacing, feeling constricted in the concrete space. She suddenly had the urge to run. To run out of the building, out of the village, and out into the wide green space. Her fingers felt numb and she found herself absentmindedly clenching and unclenching her hands as she paced. Its not like her to react this way, as if each breath is accompanied by a thousand needles. She forces herself to breath deeply, holding the air in her lungs as she closes her eyes while she paces. She felt her heart finally slow, and the needles disappear from her fingers finally. “Go make sure the pier is set.” She orders to no one in particular, “Add the boys body to the structure.” 

She hears a small growl from Indra, but no other response is given as they both shuffle out, leaving her alone. She does not stop her pacing, instead increasing its speed as she hit one wall and turned around to walk back, her footsteps echoing in the nearly empty space. After a while, she finally stops in the center of the room. Staring blankly at the wall ahead of her, calming her breathing down again and letting her hands relax at her sides. She stands in meditation, forcing her body to wind itself down. 

Gustus returns, “everything is prepared, Heda” he says quietly, his voice hedging on some unsaid statement. 

“What is it?” She breaths out, knowing he will not speak his mind unless asked. 

“I do not think trusting Skaïkru is a good idea” he reminds her. 

“We need them” Lexa says simply, “we need them to defeat the mountain. We cannot keep trying the same thing over and over again. Losing hundreds of warriors in the process. I believe the sky has opened up for a reason” she adds firmly. 

He sighs deeply, his eyes moving around the room before he continues, “I will begin preparations for the feast.” 

Lexa was surprised by the offer, but nodded her approval as he moved to step out of the room. He paused briefly before turning back, “you should not trust them, Heda.” His eyes finally meet her, “please” he adds quietly, his eyes pleading her to heed his warning. 

“I will be careful, Gustus. Theres just…” she paused trying to collect her thoughts, “there is something about Klark that pulls at me”. She frowns slightly at her admission.

Gustus sighs heavily before turning to leave, “this is exactly why we should not trust them!” she growls out as he steps through the door. Lexa followed him, her red sash getting stuck on the edge of the frame. She dislodges it quickly accidentally tearing a small portion of it. She frowns briefly at the tattered garment, the red well worn in, before turning and walking towards the square where the village had already gathered. 

Inhaling deeply, she held her head up high as she walked towards the top of the pier, letting out her breath in one continuous and controlled manner. Her pounding heart reverberating in her rib cage, reminding her gently with its rhythmic beating that she was in fact alive. 

She stands and surveys her people, catching as many pained eyes as she can before speaking loudly, “kru gon tonic in faya osir cleanse the pain gon the past” (people of TonDC, in fire we cleanse the pain of the past).

She reaches her arm out as Indra hands her the torch. She stares at the flame and hovers the torch just at the edge of the pier. With this fire, we will walk down the path towards unity, she thinks to herself as she stares at the flame. Perhaps now, with Clark, I have found a kindred flame. She surprises herself with her sudden wish, an unstated desire that she did not even know she was harboring. 

Pausing, she makes a decision and calls out, “Clark”, who jumps at the sound of her name being called. If we are to unite our clans, then in the spirit of unity we must cleanse ourselves of the past, Lexa thinks to herself as she waits for Clark to take the torch, uncertain eyes respond back to her. The crowd around them murmurs in hushed tones, uncertain of her decision, but not daring to speak up. She gives her a slight nod of encouragement as the debates plays itself out in her eyes. She takes a tentative step forward as she grabs the torch from her hand. Lexa watches as Clark turns slightly to the side, hesitation there for only a moment as whatever debate Clark appears to be having finally sorted as she confidently places the fire onto the pier.

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” (your fight is over) Clark says as the flames hungrily lick the dry wood and kindle, shocking the commander. They watch silently as the flame grows, consuming everything and everyone on it. 

The fire burns quickly, the heat growing dramatically as it consumes itself. Villagers and sky people slowly begin to filter away from the flame after some time, huddling together to console each other’s grief. Lexa finds herself mesmerized by the bright flame, not moving a muscle despite the roaring heat. She thinks of Costia, her gentle but stubborn nature. She had pushed Lexa in so many ways, ways that Lexa had not even realized until after her passing. She thought of her carefree smile and dark eyes, that always appeared to hold some mischievous secret or joke that only she was in on. Losing Costia, the knowledge of how she died, it destroyed her for such a long time. She knows the pain all to well that Clark must be feeling at the loss of her own lover, they both were responsible for the deaths of people they cared about. Clark, still stood besides her, unmoving as the fire consumed the base structure of the pier and causes it to crashes down on itself. Neither of them move despite the suddenness of its fall. 

Lexa has no idea how long they both stood there, but eventually they are the only ones left at the pier, standing silently watching the final embers of the fire burn itself out. “I lost someone special to me too.” Lexa quietly breaks the silence, finding her own voice unnerving in the silent aftermath of the flames. Clark does not move despite the intrusion. “Her name was Costia.” She can feel the constricting feeling enter her chest again, the smoke from the fire seemed to have irritated my throat, she thinks to herself as she swallows a sudden lump. “She was captured by the ice nation whose queen believed she knew my secrets.” She stares blankly at the black wood, her mind reeling at the memory, her body tensing at the onslaught of unfamiliar emotion, “Because she was mine, they tortured her. killed her, cut off her head.” she swallows hard, concentrating on keeping her breathing even. 

After a beat Clark responds softly, “I’m sorry”.

Ignoring the apology, Lexa continues “I thought id never get over the pain”, she tries to swallow the emotion back again, but can’t help the tears that betray her by filling her eyes, “but I did”. she forces out, pushing past the memory of pain. 

“How”, Clark asks softly.

Lexa swallows dryly one more time, forcing herself to continue in the hopes that it helps Clark move on, “by recognizing it for what it is.” Finally turning towards clark, she catches her blue eyes before continuing, “weakness.” 

“What is?” Clark asks, shaking her head softly, “love?”

Lexa can only nod her head as she turns her attention back towards the fire.

A slight scoff comes from Clark, “so you just stopped caring, about everyone?” she asks incredulously. 

Lexa merely nods once in confirmation, inhaling deeply before getting lost in the memory of the agony she had felt. How lost she had gotten in her mourning, trauma and grief caused her to make reckless decisions. 

“I could never do that” Clark says softly. 

Lexa bristles briefly at the statement, “then you put the people you care about in danger,” She swallows dryly, fighting to maintain her composure “and the pain will never go away.” She inhales deeply, trying to make sure that she stays strong despite the internal urge to fall apart as she turns to face her. Her face was hard and stoic, but if Clark dared to look to closely, she would see that her eyes betrayed her as they were full of unspoken pain. She inhales briefly again before continuing, “the dead are gone Klark. The living are hungry." With that, she turns and walks away towards her tent, wiping a single errant tear as it falls down her cheek, betraying her.


	20. Chapter 20

True to his word, Gustus had taken care of making sure a feast had been prepared to celebrate the newly acquired truce. Lexa walked in to the small room and surveyed with an appreciative eye the table full of food that had been played out. 

“Heda” Indra stepped up to her, her arms crossed behind her back, “I wish to speak to you.” 

Lexa could see that Indra was furious with her, and was trying her hardest to keep herself in check. She raised a questionable eyebrow in her direction, “perhaps after we break bread with the skai people”. Lexa warned her, not wanting to cause a scene in front of the other generals that had been invited to participate. 

She stepped forward and reached her hand out to hold Lexa’s forearm, “precisely what we need to speak to you about” she nods towards Gustus, who had not moved from behind his chair. “There is talk…” Indra lowered her voice to nearly a whisper before continuing, “in the village. They are not happy with you handing the lighting to Klark. That you are breaking bread with one’s who have caused so much death is offensive to those lives lost. Not to mention the fact that they denied us our closure.” 

Lexa waved her off, “Is freeing our people from the Mountain offensive?” Lexa snapped back in an irritated tone. She took a deep breath, calming herself down before continuing in a softer fashion, “it is done. Nothing will change this fact. We need the sky people to break through the Maunon’s defenses and liberate our people.” Lexa narrowed her eyes at Indra, “I would think you would be most happy to have Linkon back as your healer from the Reaper poison that had stolen him from you.” 

Indra nearly spit at the sound of his name, “he is a traitor to me and his people. He will never be welcomed in my village again.” She responded through clenched teeth. 

Lexa held up her hand, “Enough. I will not discuss this further. We should be celebrating, not fighting.” 

“This skai girl clouds your judgement.” Gustus murmurs from behind his chair as Indra steps away from Lexa and quickly walks toward her seat. “At least heed our warning tonight before you do anything that could put further lives at risk. Like your own.” He added glumly, eyes staring straight ahead at the entrance. 

Lexa merely shakes her head, trying to force out the negativity from her two most trusted advisors. She walked around it, her critical eye searching for any detail out of place. She looked at their seating arrangement and frowned slightly at the view the Sky people would have, Indra pouting at her right, Gustus on her left, and a few of her generals flanking on either side, masks covering their faces. There was nothing she could do about the people in the room, but at least the table and food looked presentable. Pleased with the results, she stood at her chair and waited for the sky people to be ushered in. 

To her surprise, Nyko comes in followed by Lincoln and Octavia first. Lincoln nods politely at her, his hands held in front of him as a term of respect and obedience, he nods at Indra who crosses her arms and turns her face to avoid looking him in the eyes. It is Octavia who surprises her the most, if she wasn't so pale, she could almost confuse her for one of her own people. Her hair elaborately done, and an air of danger and tenacity in her spirit. 

The rest of the sky people file in, she kept her eyes on Clark. Her face has healed nicely, she thought as she let her eye wander on the blonde. Kane spoke up, pulling out a strange bottle, “please accept this gift commander,” he looked down at the bottle, his thumb caressing its glass surface gently, “we drink this at special occasions. I believe this qualifies.” Kane hands over a large crystal bottle. 

Lexa stares at it as Gustus takes it from his hands, then gently hands it to her. In any normal scenario, no one would dare hand the Commander anything, it was a breach in respect and protocol as the Commander was meant to be treated with careful respect. Handing anything that was not pre-searched could be viewed as an assignation attempt. However, Lexa was forced to be more lax in these situations. She was required to give them quiet deference, in hopes that her people would follow her lead. It was not their fault that they did not know their customs. She stares at its unique design, the liquid sloshing around gently. She couldn't decide if the liquid or bottle was blue, “thank you, Marcus of the sky people”. she looks up from the bottle to meet his eyes. 

“You’re welcome, Lexa”, he pauses as he tries to remember the right words, “Kom Trikru”

Lexa winces inwardly at the butchering of her language, instead producing a small smile and nod of acknowledgement at the attempt. “Klark, let us drink together”. 

“It would be my pleasure” Clark responds, her voice sounding weary. Two cups are produced, and Lexa sloshes the clear liquid into the cups. She could smell the alcohol in the liquid and a musk she was unfamiliar with. She hands the cup closest to her to Clark, her face ever stoic, but if you looked carefully the creases in the corner of her eyes betrayed a smile. 

Gustus’s baritone voice speaks up, reaching a hand out towards her, “Heda, allow me”. She hesitated only briefly at his request, but knows that it is his careful nature, his intuition is rarely incorrect and she knows better then to ignore him on this request. Without turning, she lifts her hand up to meet his. He takes the cup from her hand, glaring at Clark and Kane as he takes a drink of the clear musty liquid, a slight grunt comes from the back of his throat as he swallows and quietly hands the cup back to her. She catches a knowing smile on Clarks face as the liquid must have a familiar burn that he was feeling, yet was to proud to show.

Satisfied, Lexa continues, “Tonight we celebrate our new found peace. Tomorrow we plan our war.” She raises her glass to toast, staring deeply into crystal blue eyes, “to those we lost, and to those we shall soon find.” 

As they both raise the cups to their lips, Gustus suddenly lurches forward. His massive frame slamming down violently onto the table. Chaos erupts as he glares once more at a confused Clark. Lexa follows his eyeliner as he rears back, falling agains the wall. Sheer panic fills her as she watches him cough, trying desperately to breath air into his lungs. “Its poison!” Nyko yells from behind her.

Indra pulls her sword “it was the skai people!” she yells. Two of her people grab the table, and push it to the side giving them room to freely move towards their new targets. Nyko is trying to get Gustus to slow down his breathing. 

Lexa’s mind is desperately trying to understand what had just happened, it whirls and grinds to a halt at seeing Gustus, her strongest and closest advisor clutching at his throat. Its as if the gears in her mind refuse to catch. She stands powerless to do anything to help Gustus, watching him choke on whatever poison they had in the liquid. 

“It wasn't us”, Clark yells, standing in front of Bellamy in the way of Indra’s sword, “you have to believe us” she begs Lexa. Lexa was only minutely aware of the action, of the words, of Indra’s sword dangerously close to Clarks neck. 

“Nou teik em wamplei” (Do not let him die!) Lexa roars out at Nyko, sheer terror was threatening to grip her. She couldn’t lose Gustus, she couldn’t think of that possibility right now. She needed to regain command of the situation, she needed to get control of her senses.

Two men lifted Gustus up from the ground as Indra shouted for the sky people to be searched. She stood back, waiting. Her mind reeling with the possibilities. Rage slowly growing inside of her as she realized she had been duped. 

“No! No we didn't do this!” Clark tried to yell back over the roar of the commotion around them. She could feel her blood throbbing its way through her body as it clouded her ability to reason. Flashes of Gustus’s eyes pleading with her, desperately clawing for air. It was as if her nightmares had found a home in reality. Instead of Costia’s accusing eyes, it was Gustus; and once again she found herself indirectly the hand of their demise. 

“Gustus warned me about you!” Lexa took a few steps forward, anger and panic coursing through her body as she tried to maintain control, “But I didn't listen!” She couldn’t stop herself, couldn't stop the anger that was begging to be released. Like a river about to overflow, it was pressing against the walls of her body. Begging her hands to take the sword at her side, begging for an outlet, for the type of release that only drawing blood could offer. 

“Lexa”, Clark called out as one of her generals searched the blondes pockets, “please”. She begged, not taking her eyes off of her. Sheer desperation was on her face, tinged the edges of her pleas. 

Lexa tried to control her breathing, tried to maintain composure, but the edges of her sight had taken on a red hue. Images of Costia and Gustus merged together, and she could no longer contain herself. She had trusted Clark, had fought for her and her people, and believed her claims. Now she was on the verge of losing Gustus, her only paternal figure because of her own stupidity. She felt the ground shaking on her resolve as she remembered how her stupidity and pride had lost her Costia as well, that was all she needed to draw the proverbial knife across Clarks emotional skin. 

“Tell me something Klark. When you plunged the knife into the heart of the boy you loved, did you not wish that it was mine?” She spit out, her wild eyes searching Clarks features for confirmation of her own suspicions. Despite it all, she needed confirmation. She needed to hear from Clark that the bond she had felt was a mistake. There was nothing between them, and there would never be. Perhaps it was Lexa’s unquenchable loneliness that made a connection with Clark feel so real. Whatever it was, it was gone now.

Clark says nothing as her gaze suddenly is diverted, Lexa stares intently at her. Trying to read her clouded face. What was going on in her mind that she could so quickly disassociate despite the commotion going on around her? Lexa wondered as she tried to read through expressionless features. 

“Heda.” A warrior calls out to her from behind Clark, who seemed to have momentarily lost her wits and was still looking beyond her, not at her.

“Disha ina cote.” (this was in her coat) the warrior smells a small vial that he had pulled from Raven’s red coat. 

He hands a the vial to her as Raven protests. “Thats not mine, I’m telling you thats not mine!” She repeats herself before turning to face the warrior “He put it there when he searched me!” she accuses through clenched teeth. 

Lexa glances at Clark who shakes her head softly, her eyes trying to get her to understand what words can not. She had no time to try and pick apart whatever Clark was trying to convey however. She bites the inside of her cheeks to force herself to look away, “No skai person leaves this room!” she roars out with such intensity that the room appears to stand still. She grips the confiscated bottle in her hand as she storms past Clark and the rest of the sky people. She needed to see Gustus, to make sure that he was ok and was not paying with his life for her own stupidity.


	21. Chapter 21

She squeezed the bottle in her hand as she made it out of the small space, it felt like her world was spinning out of control. Why didn't I listen to him? she chastised herself as she stormed out of the building towards Nyko’s place. Why did I let my pride get in the way of heeding his warnings? 

She pushed through the door and could hear hushed tones of concern inside. She swallowed through her fear, making sure her face remained as stoic as ever. The last thing Gustus would want to see is panic in her eyes, she needed to be strong, for his sake. 

She held her head high before stepping fully into the healing room. She was mildly surprised as Indra stepped in behind her, standing with 3 of her highest generals. She had not even felt Indra behind her as she had made her way across the square. 

Nyko looks up from Gustus, who’s breathing was slowly returning to normal as he lay on the stone slab, his mouth open in a grimace. “Heda.” He greets her quietly, standing erect. 

“Leave us.” Lexa orders, not taking her eyes off of Gustus. She waits until the shuffling behind her ends, searching the prone figure of her confidant, her best friend, the closest thing she has had to a father; for any signs of extensive damage. Despite her own medical training, she is to panicked to be able to tell if any major permanent damage was done.

“This was found in the coat of one the sky people.” she breaks the silence, handing the small vial over. 

Nyko takes the vial and opens it, smelling the opaque liquid inside. He nods slowly, his brain processing what he is smelling as he dips a small amount onto his pinky finger and tastes it. “Choke cherry” he confirmed, moving towards his own stack of vials, he grabbed one decisively and leaned over Gustus, pouring it slowly into his open mouth. “He will be fine, I can treat it quickly and he should be up in a few hours. It is merely an irritant for a man his size.” Nyko spoke in a hushed tone, as if not wanting to let anyone outside the hut hear him.

Lexa nodded once, continuing to stare at Gustus, willing him to stand. The need to hear his voice suddenly became an intense necessity. As if hearing it one more time would calm the quaking world around her, would somehow provide solace for her putting him and herself in danger. “You recognize the vial?” she asked as she moved closer to the body, gently taking Gustus’s hand in her own. 

“No” Nyko answered her, turning and busying himself with his own collection of herbs and remedies. “Not a common poison, one has to know where to find it, as its only found along certain streams. Its a small flower with powerful effects.” He paused his actions briefly as if contemplating something. “However, it is strange that such a girl would know enough about this particular poison, don’t you think?” he asked without turning. 

Lexa let the question sit in the air, not wanting to reach out and grab it just yet. She sat staring at his face, his eyes closed as a bead of perspiration loosened itself from his brow, his mouth opened slightly as his breathing returned to normal. She stood there, watching him carefully as Nyko busied himself around his wares; giving her a sense of privacy. She moved her finger slightly towards his wrist, finding a gentle reassuring pulse beating there. She stood there silently feeling his pulse, watching him breathing for what felt like a long time. 

Suddenly he stirred, his hand gripping hers on reflex and she winced slightly at the strength of his grip, but showed no other sign of recognition. His eyes bore into her as he inhaled deeply, clearing his throat slightly. 

“Gustus?” she questioned quietly, wondering what kind of damage this poison might have done. 

He coughed once before responding, “Ja, Heda” as he tried to sit up. 

On impulse, she tried to help heave the bulky man up, not really adding much assistance, but feeling like she was somehow contributing to his recovery. Gustus grunted softly as he sat up. “How are you feeling?” she asked tentatively. 

Gustus inhaled deeply, “like my insides are on fire” he answered surly. 

Nyko laughed and turned, “no different then when you put that disastrous pepper on your food” he responded, affectionately patting Gustus on the back. Gustus grimaced at the action and rolled his eyes dramatically, a small portion of his former self returning. 

Lexa opened her mouth to say something, but could not think of the proper words to convey her sorrow. She stared down at their hands, his warmth radiating up her arm. She swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears that angrily threatened to fall. She bit the inside of her cheeks to try and regain control, she did not want to fall apart right now. A small part of her wasn't sure that if she did, she would be able to pull herself back together. She felt a small squeeze of her fingers from Gustus, which forced her to look up and match his gaze. 

“Do not blame yourself” he whispered softly, “it is your job to follow where your instinct leads, and it is mine to protect you from it.” 

Lexa nodded mutely, hearing his words but unable to grasp the true meaning behind them. She could not forgive herself. “You and Indra…” Lexa stopped and inhaled a shaky breath, looking away before continuing, “you warned me and I did not listen.” 

Gustus shook his head, removing his hand from hers before placing it gently on her chin and redirecting her eyes to meet his. “You cannot second guess yourself, Lexa. They are nothing but a temptation for you. One that is designed to pull at the weakest part of your capabilities. You do not need them to take down the mountain. You do not need them to lead.” She needed weakly at his statements, half believing his spoken truth. “You do not need her to fill the emptiness in your heart.” 

At this, Lexa froze. Her mind reeling slightly at his statement, the words hung in the air, daring her to refute them. She swallowed hard once more as she processed what he was saying. “You do not know what you are speaking of.” She answered weakly, trying to gather herself back together. 

Gustus let go of her chin and squinted his eyes slightly, “do not think for one moment that I do not see it. Perhaps you, yourself have not realized it yet” he added dissuasively. “But she is a danger to you, and you would do well to get rid of her and her people. Placing so much hope on them, saying that only through them we can save our people from the Reapers; makes you look weak.” 

Lexa bit her lip and nodded, sniffling slightly as she gathered herself together. He was right, she knew he was right and yet she had ignored him. The coalition was hanging dangerously by a thread as it was, she didn’t need to give any clan a reason to doubt her abilities. 

Indra appeared at the entrance, knocking softly as a way to ask for permission to enter. “You may enter” Lexa confidently called out, inhaling and exhaling deeply to bring a calm expression to her features. It was one thing to let her mask down with Gustus, but it would do no good for Indra to see her upset, she would fly to her defense at any indication of someone or something causing her pain and the Sky people would be dead before she could blink.

“Gustus, Heda” Indra tentatively spoke as she walked in, if she was surprised to see him sitting up with nothing but a slight flush on his face, she did not show it. Instead she stood tall and nodded once to the burly man, before turning her attention to Lexa. “What are your orders?” 

Lexa ground her teeth quietly before responding, unsettled with the decisions that she knew she needed to make. After a moments pause, she felt Gustus reach out and gently lay his hand on top of hers, as if to indicate his presence and support. “The truce is over” Lexa stated heavily, “Bring me the girl who had the vial. She will be sentence to our harshest punishment.” 

“We should end all their lives” Indra countered, her eyebrows raised in preparation to argue her point. “If we take out their leaders, the rest of the clan will fall easily.” 

She could feel Gustus nodding his approval out of the corner of her eyes, she knew it was a valid point, but something still help her back. Nyko cleared his throat from the other side of the room before speaking up, “without their leaders, who is to stop them from coming at us with their guns?” 

“Let them come! They tried to poison you, and should all pay the highest price.” Gustus growled out, “do you really believe that Kane did not know about the plan?” He questioned as he shook his head, “he was the one who brought the poison in the bottle!” 

“That does not mean that Klark knew about it” Nyko countered quickly. “Perhaps Heda knows that making enemies of an entire clan is not the wisest of decisions.”

“We have wasted enough time on this Skaikrü!” Indra raised her voice as she took a step forward, “let me give them a quick death, it would be a mercy to them in comparison to what the rest of our people want to do.” 

“Em Pleni” Lexa says softly, her head beginning to throb. The room quieted, watching her as she processed what actions were available to her. She would be justified in killing them all where they stood, no one would blame her for seeking revenge on a plot against her life. Moreover, her people would view it as a smart, swift decision, one that showcased her strength and capability as a commander. 

But something in the back of her mind refused to stay quiet. Something kept arguing with her logic and made her second guess her decision. If she ordered their death, she would be no different then Nia. She may as well be taking a page directly out of her book. The last thing she wanted to do, wanted to be, is like that monster of a person. Shaking her head, she took a step away from Gustus, and turned her back to the three people in the room. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, forcing her muscles to relax as she processed the options once more in her mind. 

Something about Clarks pleas, the vacant stare she had seen tugged at her mind as if trying to warn her of something. No. She would not be like the Ice Queen. She would not murder to suit her own needs. She would hold the person responsible only. 

“Indra and Nyko, I want you to collect the girl and prepare her to face the harshest punishment for her attempt on my life. She will be used as a lesson for everyone.” Lexa turned finally, opening her eyes as she continued, “the rest are to be set free.” She watched Indra carefully. Her face twitched in response, but she did not move to argue. “They will not be murdered by my hands for another person’s action. However, the truce ends with Raven’s death, and with it ends my protection over all their lives.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good ole Gustus, you can always count on him to plan an exciting dinner party! ;)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of S2 E9 "Remember Me"

She watched Indra and Nyko leave, and Gustus and her were left in silence. Lexa’s mind was a blank mess, she kept trying to concentrate on saying or doing something tangible, but she couldn’t seem to pull together two thoughts and make sense of them. Gustus as always seemed comfortable sitting in silence, letting it envelope every inch of Nyko’s room. 

After some time, she finally cleared her throat, “How do you feel?” Lexa asked hesitantly.

Gustus inhaled deeply, as if testing his own internal physical limitations himself, before responding “I believe the danger has passed, Heda.” 

Lexa scowled slightly at his use of her title, for some reason it felt foreign and strange to her right now coming from Gustus. She relaxed her features before he could notice, letting another moment pass by “I should have listened to you and Indra” she stated flatly. 

“You have never heeded our advice unless you felt strongly about it. I did not expect this to be any different.” Gustus responded after a moment, “you are going to have some more difficult choices ahead of you. You have a duty as Heda, to your people, to this coalition. Decisions that will have lasting effects on your people, and will leave you forever marked with their lasting effect. You would do well to continue to follow your instinct, Heda. It rarely has lead you wrong.” 

“Except when it matters most. I thought I was right to trust Klark.” Lexa responded bitterly, turning away from Gustus. “Something about this woman clouds my judgement, and I cannot seem to shake it.” 

He reached out and turned her face gently towards him, “you care for these people, that much is obvious. But do not let that blind you to the needs of your own clan. You must stay strong, Lexa. No matter what is laid in front of you. You must do the hard thing for your people. That includes trusting no one, not even me.” He dropped his hand from her chin and squinted slightly into her eyes, “Hodnes laik kwelnes” (Love is a weakness). 

Lexa dropped her gaze and nodded weakly. He was right, and deep down she knew that she was allowing herself to be carried away by something other then duty to her people. “I almost lost you, Gustus”. 

Gustus furrowed his brow and stared at her through squinting eyes, as if seeing her for the first time. He scowled slightly at her, before heaving a deep sigh, “Lexa” he grabbed at her hand, squeezing it gently, “we are not meant to last long on this earth. I have had the honor of spending my life serving the single greatest Commander our people has ever seen. There would be no greater death than one taken by your side.” Lexa stared at him, struggling to find the right response. She could only nod as a warm and rare smile spread across his face. He squeezed her hand once more before letting go.   
“It is time” Nyko appeared at the door, nodding towards Gustus before turning and heading back out. Gustus grunted slightly as he pulled himself up and stood on his own feet. Lexa watched wearily for any signs of weakness from the big bear of a man, but he stood and walked confidently towards the door, gesturing for her to lead the way to the girl. She walked out of Nyko’s tent and began to make her way towards where the the villagers had gathered around a tied up Raven. Nyko came up to her side, bottle in hand and appeared to be studying it. She glanced at the bottle, and up to Nyko, waiting for some kind of explanation for why he was still holding on to the deadly liquid. 

“I need you to do me a favor, Nyko” Lexa said quietly, under her breath. Nyko glanced at her and then quickly looked around them as they walked slowly towards the center square. “Linkoln. Make sure he gets out of TonDC before the girls life is spent.” Nyko nearly stops walking from being surprised at her request, he grasps his beard and strokes it slowly as if processing the words that Lexa had asked. “No one must not know I asked you to do this.”

Nyko nods his head twice, “I will find a way, Heda.” He looks up ahead, and before adding, “strange thing” he said quietly, almost to himself. “How such a girl could know this plants effects…” he trailed off as he looked up and walked off with new purpose. 

Shaking her head, she reached the outskirt of the group and walked through it as people parted to allow her through. She stood next to Indra as she watched Raven struggling to get out of her restraints and away from her captures. Her hands were secured to the post above her head, and her legs were tied down to stop her from kicking anyone else. 

She quickly scanned the crowd, but saw only Lincoln and a handful of the Skaikrü. She debated whether or not she should wait for them, but then remembered that the truce would be over once Raven’s life was extinguished. She hoped that Clark was getting a head start on getting herself, and her people somewhere safe.

As the intended target for her attack, she has to draw the first blade across her skin. It is her duty to draw first blood. She stares at the woman on the post, trying to fight the irritating voice in her mind that suddenly started speaking up, how did she know about this toxin? She questions herself, they had never seen horses before, and somehow she knew enough to pick this toxin? She tries to knock the doubt out of her head, gripping once more the metal blade in her hand. The poison was found on her person, she mourned the loss of one of her own, she had every reason to want to kill me. She reminds herself before taking a step forward. At least now, this village will get the closure they were looking for despite Finn’s quick death, she thought as she inhaled deeply once more. 

“I take no joy in this, Raven.” She searches for her brown eyes, trying to bring a sense of calmness to the situation as she walks up to the girl, dagger in hand, “But this time, justice will be done.”

Raven’s breathing was coming in and out in harsh erratic breaths, fear clearly written on her face, “I didn’t do it. How is this justice?” she pleads as she stares into Lexa’s eyes. Despite the apparent fear, her voice is strong and it tugs again at Lexa’s conscious. 

Lexa keeps her gaze on her, not taking her eyes off of her as she tries to maintain a calm and relaxed persona. She knew the pain that this girl was about to experience, none of what was about to happen gave her pleasure, but it needed to be done. TonDC required sacrifice for the deaths, this poor girl just so happened to make a mistake large enough to quench their thirst for revenge. She cut cleanly into her arm, feeling the blade slide through as she placed just enough pressure to draw blood, but not do significant harm. 

She stepped back, keeping eye contact as Indra stepped forward and drew her own dagger, rage and sadness mixed into one on her face. She watched as she lifted the girls shirt and cut across her stomach. As Raven’s cries filled the village, she focused her eyes away. Once again, she was the bringer of death, and once again she could not stand the sight of the anguished face. She would do no honor to Raven by walking away though, her pain must be incredible as another and another warrior stepped forward, dagger in hand. 

She turned away slightly as one of her villagers made an unclean cut, digging the dagger in a little deeper then he should have. She knew it was going to happen, they were taking their hurt out on this girl since they could not do it to Finn. She made a mental note of who it was, and recognized the familiar face of the man who had tried to stop them from entering the village. She tensed slightly at the realization before feeling Gustus take a closer to her. She knew that he had realized the same thing she had, and was trying to offer some solace towards her. 

“Stop!” Suddenly, Clark was yelling from behind her, she turned to see her trying to push past one of her guards. Her eyes were wild as she rammed her body against the man, who could only hold his arms out to try and stop her. 

“Let her pass.” She commanded, wondering what this strange woman could possibly want now, at the eve of her and her peoples death. She waited impatiently for her to reach her, as murmurs from the crowd began to raise concern around her. 

“One of your people tried to kill you, Lexa” She accused as she stormed up to her, “not one of mine.”

“You should have run” Indra warns through clenched teeth, stepping forward on Lexa’s behalf. 

Clark only glances at Indra before continuing, her blue eyes dark with determination, “I can prove it.” Clark’s face is set into a furrowed determination as her eyes bore into Lexa’s. 

Nyko arrives with the bottle that Kane had given her at dinner, the cap still tightly corking the frosted glass container. Without hesitation, Clark takes the bottle from him, pulls the cork out, her breathing slightly increased as she glances at the bottle briefly, before placing it on her lips. No one has a chance to move before she swallows deeply from the container with no hesitation. 

Lexa can’t help her eyes widening as a small shiver of fear runs down her back as she watches Clark swallow gulp after gulp of certain death. A slight perspiration forms on in her hands as her mind races at the action that was happening before her. Clark had lost her damn mind. 

She watched as Clark pulled the bottle from her lips, inhaling deeply much needed air and stared back at Lexa. The village was silent, off in the distance, Lexa was keenly aware of the sound of some bug’s consistent vibration or hum. Letting her know that time was in deed passing despite the lack of movement from anyone in the camp, herself included. 

“Explain” she demanded after an unknown amount of time had passed. If the poison was in the container, as she had been led to be believe, Clark should be falling over in extreme pain by now. She had not the strength nor the body mass that Gustus had to be able to handle the intense symptoms that the poison would bring. 

Clark never broke eye contact with her, “The poison wasn’t in the bottle. It was in the cup.”

Off in the distance someone yells, “Em ste spichen!” (She’s lying), she studies Clark’s face, looking for any sign of deception, trying to process what she is hearing. 

“Dison feik au, Heda.” (A trick, Commander) Gustus says quietly behind her, his deep voice knocking her slightly out of her thought process. “Nou ge pon klin.” (Don’t be fooled) he says a little louder as her eyes flicker to Bellamy who seemed to twitch at his words, then back to Clark. 

“It was you” Bellamy speaks up, staring intently behind her at Gustus. Clark finally broke her intense gaze and turned towards Bellamy who continued, “He tested the cup, he searched Raven.”

Lexa visibly bristles at the accusation, breaking for a moment her mask. Gustus was her closest confidant and most fierce protector, he would never put her in harms way. “Gustus would never harm me” she voices her thoughts, daring anyone to prove her words untrue. 

Bellamy quickly justifies himself, “you weren’t the target” he says nodding slowly, “the alliance was.”

“We didn’t do this, and you know it.” Clark husked out, her voice low and calm. Her steel blue eyes pleading with Lexa to understand.

No. She argued to herself, this is impossible. She couldn’t help the tingling in the back of her mind though. Nyko's questions bouncing through her thoughts like a jumbled mass, making it hard to stay focused on what she knew was true. She inhaled slowly, looking at the tree line to try and collect herself before turning to face Gustus, who had not moved. 

“u don ge finga au, Gostos. Ron ai ridiyo op.” (You have been accused, Gustus. Speak true). She watched him carefully as he looked down at her, his face hard and stoic as his gaze glanced at Clark and Bellamy. 

She noticed the smallest change in his features, as if a deep wariness had suddenly and abruptly settled on his face. He raised his eyebrow slightly before taking a deep breath, “This alliance would cost you your life, Heda.”

Lexa suddenly felt dizzy. She tried to comprehend the words that he was speaking, but none of them made sense. Movement was happening around her, people were whispering, but she couldn't make sense of the noise. She heard Indra’s sharp intake of breath, felt her hesitation to move forward to Lexa’s side. But all Lexa could do was stare at Gustus in disbelief, hoping that what he was saying was not true. 

“I could not let that happen.” He continued calmly. 

She couldn’t breath, couldn't move. Her stomach lurched sharply and sound seemed to disappear entirely into some kind of void. She felt to shocked to react at first, he betrayed her. Her heart felt like it had been violently stabbed and she fought the urge to clutch at it and fall to her knees, certain that her legs were ready to give out at any moment anyway. Somehow she became acutely aware that all eyes were on her and Gustus. It took her a moment to collect herself enough to respond. “This treachery will cost you yours” she says quietly, eyes full of a pained betrayal. 

Gustus’s face betrayed nothing, but his eyes dropped in sadness. He nodded almost imperceptibly, not fighting or arguing against her. They both knew what she needed to do. There was no way around it, he had sealed his own fate. 

“Teik em set raun ona tri” (Put him on the tree). She commanded, her voice barely revealing the heartbreak she was feeling. She tried to concentrate on on task at a time, focusing on keeping her mask on despite the string of confusion that was happening around her. She felt pity from the Skakrü, and it angered her. 

She was suddenly incredibly parched and found swallowing difficult. She tried hard to maintain her breathing, but it was as if she had been hit hard in the gut, and despite her demands; her body was refusing to listen to her. This is what happens when I trust, the thought crossed her mind bitterly, everyone I care about eventually dies at my own hand.

She kept her eyes on Gustus, who did not break eye contact with her as men surrounded him quickly. She could just barely make out movement happening around her, but it was as if everything was moving at a different speed. Gustus and her were moving in slow motion in comparison to the world around them. Her eyes pleaded for him to tell her it wasn't true, that he had not betrayed her. She furrowed her brow slightly in demand of an answer, but he said nothing. 

WHY?! She screamed internally, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? Please don't make me kill you. She couldn’t move out of fear that her legs would give out and betray her weakness. I can’t lose you to, she thought as she stared into familiar warm eyes, I don't know if I can survive without you. As if Gustus could read her mind, he nodded once at her slowly, almost smiling beneath his rough exterior. 

Once he was tied up, no one dared move. Gustus said nothing, choosing instead to stare straight ahead at the tree line, waiting for someone to make the first cut. Out of the crowd, the man who had dared defy her stepped forward. He walked towards Clark and her people, nodding once as he maintained eye contact with Clark, then pulled his dagger out and walked towards Gustus. Lexa watched as he placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and without breaking eye contact with Gustus made the first cut on his arm. 

Gustus did not move, nor make a sound. Lexa felt like it was her body that was being cut, with each passing of the blade, she felt as if they were cutting her as well. She gripped her sword hilt tight, trying to maintain balance despite the woozy feeling that had not left her. 

Lexa had lost count of how many had taken their turn with a knife. She couldn't be certain if it was the whole village that had gone, or only half. She wasn’t sure how long Gustus was even tied up for. She tried to focus on what was happening, but it all felt surreal, like a horrible nightmare that she was certain she would wake up from. No matter how much time she waited, however, she was not waking. No matter how loud she screamed in her mind, it would not jostle her awake. This was her reality now. 

As the trickle of people slows down, and eventually stops at one more person, Gustus does not utter more then a guttural moan at each pass, his breathing coming in sharp gasps as he tries to fill his body with oxygen. The exertion to keep himself standing despite the pain was taking every ounce of energy he had. 

Snapping to reality, Lexa realizes that it is her turn, to finish the deed. To complete the task and end his life as quickly as possible. She had hoped it would not come to this, but she knew that if anyone could survive being cut by each villager, it would be Gustus. She takes a few steps forward, finding his warm brown eyes in the process. 

“Ste yuj” (be strong) he commands her, he voice momentarily strong as he inhales deeply once more.

She stands before him, trying to remember him as he once was. Strong and vibrant. Not the shattered man that was hunched before her, bloodied and battered. She pulled her sword out and lined it up with his heart, using her arm to stay stable. She feared missing, not ending his life swiftly and causing him more pain. She feared appearing weak in front of her clan, giving them more reason to doubt her capabilities as their Commander. More then anything, she feared losing him. He stands slightly straighter, and nods, giving her the permission she needed to carry on with the task at hand. 

“Yu gonplei ste odon" (your fight is over) she says before taking a deep breath, turning the sword slightly and guiding it into his heart. She watches him gasp slightly, then slowly the life drains out of his eyes as he head lulls forward. She pulls her sword out and feels herself nearly fall over in her grief. By some luck, she catches herself, using the sword to help support her. 

Needing to look away from his body, she turns and catches Clarks eyes. She nods slightly at her, but Lexa can’t move to return the gesture. Her mind blank, she allows herself to get lost for a moment in deep pools of blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters will be purely my own creation, but I felt they were needed to fill in some gaps.


	23. Chapter 23

She stared at the ashes of the pier. She had tried her best to avoid watching them take down Gustus’s body earlier. 

She had failed. 

She had stood stoic as they untied him. Hardly flinched as his body fell forward. Didn’t so much as draw a breath as they wrapped his body. She wasn’t sure for how long she had stared at the spot where his body had laid, eventually she realized she had been standing there staring at an empty post while his body had long ago burned, so she shifted her gaze to the remaining ashes of the pier, the quiet embers of the fire snapping angrily everyone once a while; as if voicing Gustus’s displeasure from beyond the grave. 

That was how Clark had found her, her hand laying naturally on the hilt of her sword, her red sash fluttering slightly in the wind. 

“Hey”, Clark said softly, sidling up next to her. 

Lexa didn’t bother to respond, she squeezed her eyes for a few seconds, suddenly realizing how dry they were. Clark for her part didn't say anything else, she merely stared ahead, dazed. They stood there in a comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to speak in the wake of their mutual mourning. 

Clark seemed to be murmuring something to herself, before she turned suddenly towards Lexa, her fists clenched at her side. “Can I ask you something?” she blurted out, louder then she had intended to. 

Lexa turned slightly towards her, raising an eyebrow in response, her lips pursing slighting as she inhaled. She waited for Clark to continue without an additional word.

“You know how you do that mark thing?” she pressed on, taking Lexa’s silence as permission to continue. 

“Mark? Thing?” Lexa had no idea what she was referring to. 

“Yes.” Clark furrowed her brows slightly, her eyes knit in concentration. “When I was with Anya, I learned that after one of your warriors kills, they get a mark? On their body?” 

Recognition took hold as Lexa nodded, “What about it?” she asked hoarsely as she turned to face the pile again, she was surprised by the gruffness in her voice, she cleared it slightly. 

“I was wondering if…” Clark trailed off for a moment, eyes going glossy again. “I was thinking I needed a way to…” 

Lexa eyed Clark suspiciously for a moment, the blond refusing to match her gaze. “You would like to have a mark.” She answered for Clark, watching relief momentarily wash over her features. 

Lexa pondered the request for a moment before answering. “Despite what you might think, we do not make light the taking of life.” Lexa said softly, staring straight ahead again. “The pain is meant to cleanse your soul.” Lexa paused reflectively for a moment before continuing, “by taking on the mark, you tie yourself forever. Owning their death for all time.”

Clark nodded a few times, “what does it entail?” 

Lexa thought for a moment, trying to find the words to describe the beliefs behind the act. “A true warrior, will make no sound. It is considered disrespectful towards the dead.” Lexa rubbed her tongue against her front teeth, paying special attention to her canine before continuing. “We have a ceremonial knife that is heated up until the blade turns as red as the fire that it comes from, or as red as the blood of the dead. Then it is pressed against the flesh in a location of the warriors choosing. Most warriors choose some place readily visible, as a sign of strength, capability, and loyalty to their clan and Commander.” Lexa turned to face Clark, who returned her gaze. 

“I didn’t know it meant so much” Clark answered softly, her intense gaze catching Lexa’s breath momentarily.

“There is much you have yet to learn about us” Lexa smiled softly, “The first mark is considered to be the mark from child to warrior” Lexa added relaxing her grip on her sword. She had not noticed how tight she had been gripping it. What she did realize was that being near Clark gave her a sense of ease, she could feel the tension leaving her body as they continued speaking. “It gives the wearer full rights in their community. They have taken a life in defense of their people, and as such, deserve to have their voice heard.” Lexa watched her closely before continuing, “taking a life is no easy choice, and the first mark is meant to give closure to the wearier and the soul that has been lost. It sort of…” Lexa bit her lip as she searched for the right term in English, “bridges the gap between them.” 

Clark did not say anything for a moment as she digested the information. “I would like, if possible, to do this?” Clark asked, staring off in the distance again. 

“You wish to cleanse your soul?” Lexa responded. 

“More like my conscience” Clark answered in a quiet voice. They sat in silence for another moment, “are you…going to…” 

“Heda! A moment please” Indra called out from behind them cutting Clark off from finishing her thought, a look of agitation on her face. 

Lexa nodded her response letting out a soft sigh. “Tonight Clark, after dinner. Meet me at the command tent.” She turned and walked towards Indra, who directed her to the command tent. Outside were two men positioned, along with her usual guard. Lexa turned a wary eye towards Indra, “What is this?” she asked quietly as they approached. 

“It appears there have been some complications with you call for generals from each of the 12 clans” Indra answers back in a quiet whisper. “I thought you would want to deal with this personally” she adds as recognition takes hold of Lexa. 

The two warriors have the the distinctive mark on their face of the Azgeda. Groaning slightly, Lexa pushes through the tent opening to find Nia hunched over studying the map of TonDc that had been paid out on the table. She looked up as Lexa entered. “Nia. What are you doing here?” Lexa spits out, fighting the urge to immediately attack the older woman. 

“Well hello to you to” she replies cooly, keeping the table between them. 

“Your presence is not welcomed here” Lexa responds, hand on the hilt of her sword. 

“Actually, I believe you invited me” Nia counters here, eyes flickering towards Lexa’s sword, as if gauging how much time she had before Lexa pulled the steel out. 

Lexa grows in response, taking a step forward without drawing her weapon. She wants to see Nia’s fear before she ends her life. Wants to watch her panic in the same way that Costia must have at her hands. “Speak quick, before I end your ability to speak at all”, Lexa warns as one of Nia’s guards appears from out of no where, his hands at the ready as well. 

“I believe you called for a meeting of the generals from each clan?” Nia responded as if bored with the whole affair, “I came to introduce you to my new representative.” She points to the the man standing at Lexa’s side, “Atohl will be representing the Azgeda in my absence.” She clarifies. 

“In your absence?” Lexa questioned, relaxing her hands slightly hoping to calm Atohl down enough to relax his guard. “Where is Echo, I will only work with the true leader of the Azgeda.” 

“You haven’t heard?” Nia’s face draws a solemn look, one that is unpracticed and looks more like a she is mocking then sincere, “it’s the most dreadful thing, really.” 

Lexa inhales slowly, waiting for Nia to stop pretending to be concerned and continue with the news. She stares daggers into her eyes before asking, “What is?” in the most terse voice. 

“Well it appears that Echo has gone missing. Never returned from her little mission to see you, it seems.” Nia shrugged as if detailing an unfortunate weather event instead of informing Lexa of the news of the person she was supposed to merge with, and the leader of the Azgeda has gone missing. “I have been appointed back as leader until we figure out what to do”, Nia adds in a flurrly, her smile far to wide to be believable. 

“No!” Lexa surprised herself and everyone in the room by shouting her response. “I will NEVER work with you” she adds, seething at the mere implication. She had not heard of Echo's disappearance, and the thought that Nia was back in power settled like a stone in the pit of her stomach. 

“You won’t have to, thats what Atohl is here for. I have to return to my clan. So much to do and prepare for, you know” she adds, gathering herself together. “He will be reporting back to me your progress, I understand you’ve taken on an additional clan. This SkaiKrü? I certainly hope you haven’t bitten off more then you can chew, dear Lexa.” She comes face to face with Lexa, who recoils slightly at her close proximity, “I would hate to have to have to present a vote of no confidence in your capabilities as Heda.” She flashes Lexa her most winning smile, “would be a real shame to see you dethroned, beheaded even like your dear Costia?” 

Lexa doesn’t always think things through. She doesn't always consider the full weight and consequences of her actions. Sometimes, when it comes to herself, to personal matters; Lexa just reacts. More then once in her life she had been chastised for being impulsive by her mentors. Anya, Gustus, and Indra chief among them had spent more then enough time telling her to stop and think before she reacts. 

Thats why it’s no surprise to anyone who knows her that she lunges at Nia with every fiber of her being. Murder blazing her eyes as she raises her hands to choke the very life out of the Ice Queen. 

It’s also no surprise that Indra is behind her, reaching out to grab her and stop her before she can harm a delicate hair on Nia’s head. There to stop Lexa from breaking the delicate treating that is in place with the Ice Nation, stop her from starting another war. There to hold her back as Nia laughs lightly, and walks out of the tent with Atohl in tow, not bothering to look back as she leaves. Her laughter filling the empty space as Lexa falls to her knees. 

Only Indra is left with Lexa, who is not surprised to find herself quietly holding Lexa as a sob rips from her. All sorrow that had been trapped escaping in that one quiet sound as Lexa crumbles in Indra’s arms, tears freely falling down her face. Indra held her tightly, rocking her slowly like she used to when Lexa was a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This, along with the next few chapters are meant to close a few loopholes in both my storyline, and within the show. 
> 
> Hopefully I didn't delve to far off the well known trail! 
> 
> Also, I hate Nia.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its gloomy and stormy out today. Which I normally love, but its cold and gloomy and stormy and I needed something to help lift up my spirits a bit. 
> 
> Which means a random chapter drop for you! Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> To follow along with the plot, Clark has just agreed to let Bellamy and Lincoln break into Mount Weather. On her way to see Lexa, her mother pulls her aside to give her some of Fin's ashes; which Clark refuses, informing her that she's found her own way to say goodbye as she walks away and meets up with Lexa. This is how I think she did that. 
> 
> Happy Groundhog day! ;)

Lexa sat in her room, her head in her hands as she sat hunched over and reflected about the days events. She had lost a mentor today, a soul that she could never replace. She had taken the life herself because of his betrayal, and would have to shoulder the emotional burden of his decision for the rest of her life. She had come face to face with her most hated enemy, and had lost that battle. She was exhausted and emotionally drained.

Lost in though, she heard a throat clear in the empty space and shot her head up. 

Indra stood at the entrance of her tent, eyebrows raised as she cocked her head, “should I tell her to come back” she asked?

Lexa shook her head as she stood up, “is everything ready?”

“Ja, Heda.” Indra nodded in confirmation, “we have everything ready in the tent. The fire has been burning for some time now.” Lexa gathered herself together, adjusting her armor slightly. She walked toward Indra, who grabbed her suddenly by the arm. “You had no choice. He would be proud of your strength.” 

Lexa stared into Indra’s eyes, her voice catching in her throat at the kind gesture. They stared at each other for a moment, each admitting their grief in their own way. Lexa took a haggard breath, wiping the tears that was threatening to fall from her eyes and nodded once. Any softness that they had displayed on their face disappeared with the nod.

She stepped out, her eyes falling immediately on golden blond locks. She averted her gaze as she waited for Clark to finish speaking with her mother. A moment later Clark approached her with a fierce determination set on her face. Lexa said nothing to her, merely nodding at her approach and turning towards her tent. 

She pulled back the tent flap and entered the space. She surveyed the space with an approving nod. A few candles had been brought in, giving the space a warm glow that was made slightly brighter by the small circular fire in the center of the room. The deep red embers glowed brightly illuminating a small table and two chairs on the other side. A single man stood at the table, his face covered with a black clothe leaving only his black eyes to shine through. The rest of the furniture had been pushed aside, giving a large space around the fire pit, making the tent appear larger then it usually did.

Clark gasped slightly behind her as she stepped foot into the tent, her sharp blue eyes taking everything in. She couldn't help but watch the blond walk slowly around as she was lit by soft candle light, it was slightly entrancing. To distract herself, Lexa turned her back to the center of the tent and began to take her armor off, placing it on a table near the entrance that held the topography map, followed by the long red sash that was clipped and draped over her shoulder. 

She pulled her belt off laying her sword next to her shoulder armor, the rubber protesting slightly as the weight of the belt hit it. Next she began to swiftly unbuckle the four buckles on her jacket. 

She could hear Clark approach her from behind causing her hesitate slightly, her hand lingering over the last unbuttoned buckle. Inhaling deeply, she slid the warm fur lined jacket off and felt her skin react to the sudden change in temperature. 

She turned slightly as Clark began to undo her own jacket, mimicking Lexa’s actions with unsteady hands. She dropped her jacket on top of the growing pile, as she continued undressing working on her blouse next. Before she could get it over her head however, she heard a soft gasp come from Clark. Shifting her eyes slightly, she could see Clark staring at her arm, taking in the tattoo. She couldn't help but smirk slightly at the reaction. 

Lexa was familiar with the nearly faded look of the tattoos on her arms. Sometimes when she was washing, they would catch her by surprise as she would forget that they were there as she tried to scrub the ‘dirt’ off her bicep. The ink on her left arm represented her position within the Trikru. Her right arm was added once the spirit of Heda had chosen her, and announced her position as Commander, she was the only one allowed to have this design and would serve as identification to anyone who dared deny her command.

Clark hesitantly lifted her finger towards her bicep before catching herself and pulled back. “Sorry” she sheepishly apologized, looking down. 

“Its quite alright” she responded, holding her left arm out for Clark to see, her shirt still held in her other hand. 

“I saw something like this on Anya’s arm” Clark took a step closer, she squinted her eyes slightly. Lexa didn't respond as she felt Clarks warm breath tickle her arm slightly. She waited until Clark looked up, her hand hovering slightly over the darkened ink. “You have one on both arms, while she only had it on one?” 

Lexa nodded once before responding, “it is likely that you will see more of these as you spend time with us. This arm” Lexa points to her left arm, “represents my position with the Trikru, as Anya’s second and Indra’s previous replacement for clan leader. Anya was Indra’s second as well, before she moved to become one of my personal generals. Each leader will have their ranking or position on this arm. The other arm” Lexa lifts her right arm up to show her the design, “represents my position as Commander of the 12 clans. I will be the only one you will ever see with this mark.” 

“Its so much more intricate” Clark breathed out as she took in the curled design. She watched as Clark’s hesitant finger and placed it gingerly on her bicep, glancing briefing up at Lexa as if asking for permission to continue. In response, Lexa raised her eyebrows and nodded softly to Clark. She watched her squint slightly as she traced her finger along one of the six lines on her arm, small goosebumps appearing on her flesh at the light tough. “Why six?” she asked, her mouth slightly parted as she concentrated on following the pattern. 

Lexa fought the urge to fidget at the gentle touch, she found herself swallowing dryly before being able to respond “I am the sixth Heda from this region” she responded, matching Clarks warm tone. Being this close to Clark, she was able to study her features, she found herself holding her breath as she realized how untarnished and beautiful she looked this close up. She let her eyes roam down her face, unconsciously licking her own lips as her eyes fell upon Clarks lips. 

Clark looked up from her arm and blushed slightly at their closeness, “Sorry…” she smiled sheepishly as she stepped away, dropping her arm in the process. 

What am I doing? Lexa furrowed her brow as she questioned her own actions. She stared at Clark in silence, trying to piece together her own inexplicable motivation for her bodies reaction. Clarks soft blue eyes stared back as they stood for a moment in each others silence. 

“I shall go first, Klark” Lexa spoke up, breaking the stillness in the room. She turned and walked around the fire and approached the table. She held up the blade, admiring the thin curve of the steel. It was a rare dagger, long about 8 inches and razor sharp except for the end that had an unusual oval edge to it that was used to mark the body. The handle was black with an ornate design of curves and swirls in a deep red. She held it up to Clark, letting her eyes take the blade in slowly as Clark swallowed a audible lump in her throat. 

She handed it to the man standing at the table who only nodded as he accepted it and walked towards the fire and slowly slid the blade into the hottest part, stirring it gently. Clark walked over, her head held high as she approached, ignoring the man with the dagger. “Is there a prayer or a chant or something?” she asks, standing next to Lexa. 

Lexa smiled softly at the absurd question, but did not respond. She instead turned the chair around so it was sitting opposite her. She grabbed the edge of her shirt and began to pull it up slowly, feeling a tad bit awkward with Clark standing behind her. She pulled it over her head, goosebumps settling on to her flesh again as she let her shirt fall to the floor and stood in only her binding and pants. She straddled the chair, pressing herself against the back of the chair letting the cool wood settle against her bare flesh. She wasn't accustomed to wearing a bra for day to day affairs, relying solely on a bandaged binding, and despite the unexpected events that had unfolded, today was no different. She debated for a moment if she shouldn’t take the binding off, but relenting to it as she unclipped it and unwound the white fabric, letting it settle to the ground near her shirt.

“Wow” she heard whispered behind her fully exposed back. She turned her head, brushing her hair over her right shoulder to see the blond better. “Those are beautiful” Clark added, stepping closer.

While she was thoroughly familiar with the black design on her biceps, the tattoos on her back were another matter entirely. She had picked the design out herself by combining various pieces of her own history, but had only seen the full design when she had the leisure of having a large mirror to angle herself against. The markings on her back was also something that not many, if any people saw. They were intensely personal, and she fought the impulse to blush and ask Clark to avert her gaze. Instead, she gripped the chair a little tighter then usual, and breathed slowly and methodically through her nose. 

The design was not incredibly complex, but each piece had important significance. The symbol for her reincarnation, the fiery wings of a phoenix started at her mid back and spread its wings up and out against her shoulder blades. Each fiery feather sprawling its delicate tips out towards her sides and ending in an upturned whale fluke at the bottom of her back which represented her second home with the Floukru. It was also a small thank you to Luna, who without her help growing up, she might never have met Costia, and become the woman she is today.

Though few knew how to read Trigedasleng like her, many knew the representative symbols of their people. The symbols for air, water, fire, and earth, were carefully spaced along her spinal column, representing the most important elements to her people, and the spaces she commanded over as Heda. The last two symbols were representative of her family and her clan, the first people she had loved and and still carried a place in her heart.

“Thank you”, Lexa responded, once again matching her soft tone. She felt the warmth from Clarks body as she came closer and began to study the intricate artwork on her back. Unexpectedly, she felt a small light finger on her shoulder blade, tracing a soft line down one of the curves of her wing. Lexa tried not to arch into the touch, but her body moved on its own accord. Her breath catching as she felt Clark moved her fingers slowly towards her spine, tracing some part of her tattoo pattern. She reflectively closed her eyes to concentrate on the gentle touch as Clark continued moving her fingers as she traced the symbols, then touching the first of the small balls of scar that were on her vertebra. She continued to run her hand down her spinal column not saying a word, her finger lifting slightly as she went over the pitches and curves of her spine, and the scar tissue on either side of it. 

“These are…?” Clark trailed off, nearing the boundary line of her pants, and the end of her tattoo’s. She lifted her finger, and Lexa found herself instantly and inexplicably missing the delicate touch. “Each one represents a kill?” Clark asked softly

Lexa nodded as she heard the dagger being pulled out of the flame, the blade red hot in its anger. She sat up slightly straighter as the man stood and wordlessly moved Clark to the side. She braced herself with her hands gripping the top of the chair. “Each marks the end of a life that I alone am responsible for.” Lexa informed Clark through a clenched jaw. 

Clark reached her hand out, taking Lexa’s hand from its place on top of the chair back and squeezed it gently. She interlocked her fingers with Lexa, despite no movement from Lexa to match the movement, and held her hand. She stared at their interlocking fingers, her dark tanned skin contrasting sharply against Clarks pale hand and marveled at the warmth of Clarks touch and how soft her hands were. With no warning, the blade was pressed deep into her lower back, just to the right of her spine, adding another small angry nub to the ones that were already there. 

Lexa bit back a hiss and swallowed a groan as the smell of burnt flesh filled the air. Just as quickly as the searing pain had started, the blade was retracted and the man retreated to reheat the metal. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as Clark reassuring squeezed her hand once more. Her head slightly dizzy at the sudden build up and release of tension in her body. 

She looked up at deep blue eyes that were watching her intently, concern written on her face. She bit her lip slightly, trying to think of something to say to break the tension before Clark beat her to it, “can I touch you?” Clark asked, then shaking her head slightly as a light blush rose on her cheeks, reiterated, “the mark, I mean. On your back?” Lexa nodded, watching Clarks figure move behind her and squat down slightly. She felt a ginger touch around the sore angry red skin and jumped slightly at the delicate pressure. “Its such a clean wound, nearly perfect…” She heard Clark whisper to herself. 

She waited until Clark stood again before moving back off the chair, grimacing slightly at the angry jab of pain from the newly created mark. She said nothing as she held her hand out and waited for her shirt to be handed to her, covering her breasts with her right arm. “Are you sure you still want to do this?” She asked as she put on the shirt that was handed to her by the masked warrior. 

“Yes.” Clark answered resolutely. Lexa stood back and gestured towards the chair with an open palm. 

“Choose your location, Klark.” Lexa said as the blade is once again pulled from the flame. Clark stared wide eyed at the glowing orange metal, swallowing hard as the blade was brought closer to her. After a moments hesitation, she squared her shoulders and flicked a steely gaze in Lexa's direction before moving to sit down in the same way that Lexa was. Lexa held her breath at the intensity of Clarks eyes. Shaking her head, to force the jumbled thoughts out, she moved and stood where Clark had been and gently reached out a tentative hand towards Clark; her fingers twitching slightly at the memory of being wrapped up in Clarks warm embrace.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Closing the gap on how Clark suddenly knows how to ride a horse so well...and maybe...just a little bit...Lexa is realizing she might have something bubbling up behind that stark exterior. 
> 
> Maybe. 
> 
> Roughly one more chapter of original material, and then back to following the script on the show. Hopefully you don't mind these dalliances from the show's plot; I just want to provide a thorough dive into Lexa's backstory as possible. 
> 
> XO

Listlessly, she awoke the next morning. Her back angry still from the metal that had pressed upon it the eternal memory of one of her longest confidants and friend. She scrunched her face at the persistent light, demand she get up and out of bed. She wanted to ignore it, wanted to pretend morning had not come and she would not have to deal with the reality of the world around her. 

Growling, she pulled the thick fur pelt over her head in a stubborn refusal to admit defeat. Through the thickness of the fur, she thought she heard a knock, tentative, as if it was unsure it wanted to be let in. She ignored it, hoping that if she did not answer, whatever was there would eventually go away. After a few minutes of silence, she slowly inches the fur down and uncovers her face, surveying an empty room. 

“I brought you something to eat.” 

Lexa shot upright in bed at the husky voice, her eyes falling upon a familiar head of blond hair. She stared at bright blue eyes, in her left hand were two cups and what appeared to be some bread and meats on a plate in the right hand.

“I thought you might be hungry” Clark added as she raised an expectant eyebrow at her with a slight shrug.

Lexa huffed a defeated sigh as she pushed the fur out of the way and kicked her legs off the bed and on to the floor. “Thank you, Klark” she stood running her hands through her hair and made her way across the cold floor, relieving Clark of the plate with a soft smile. “What has you up so early?” she asks as she takes a bite of the bread, her skin prickling slightly at the introduction of the cool air.

“Early?” Clark asks with a raised eyebrow, “its the afternoon. You’re eating lunch.” Lexa stopped chewing mid-bite as she stared at Clark. Had she really slept through the morning? “Indra said it was unlike you to sleep this long” she paused hesitating, “I was worried…about you.” 

Lexa couldn’t help but stiffen at the statement, worried about me? she thought as she placed the food down on the table. “I am fine, there is no reason to be concerned, Klark.” 

“I’m sure…” she responds reassuringly, placing Lexa’s cup on the table next to her plate, “It’s just that, you’ve slept half the day away” Clark smiles as she takes a hesitant sip of her drink, drawing the action out more then necessary.

“And what concern is this to you?” Lexa bites back, not used to this kind of attention placed on her. She eyed Clark carefully as a nervous sort of energy seemed to fill the room which Lexa couldn’t tell if it emitted from her or from Clark. The blond didn’t respond. She instead averted Lexa’s gaze and drank from her cup again. Lexa felt her agitation growing again as the silence dragged on. After another beat, she gave in to Clark for what felt like the millionth time, “is there something I can do for you, Klark?”

“Yes” Clark answers quickly, “Well, maybe. I think…” She trails off. 

Lexa raises a curious eyebrow, noticing for the first time a different gleam in the young blondes eyes. Different then the usual pained, angry look. Narrowing her eyes, she studied Clark, What is this look, she wondered silently as a bashful smile pressed itself to Clarks face. She looks, different almost… suddenly it occurred to her what it was that she was seeing in Clarks eyes, she looks playful, happy? After a measured breath Lexa finally relents, “Whatever you wish, Klark. If I can make it happen, consider it done” she adds wearily.

Clark bounced on the balls of her feet, as if she was about to launch herself off the ground and into a full run. A huge smile plastered across her face. She quickly dropped her cup on the table, nearly knocking Lexa’s own cup down in the process. She grabbed a bewildered hand and began dragging Lexa out her room without a word.

“Klark! Wait!” Lexa cried out in protest, pulling back against her hand, “I need to get dressed first!”

Clark stopped so abruptly at the threshold of her room that Lexa nearly slammed into her. The blond turned and was nose to nose with Lexa in one swift motion. She glanced down as if noticing Lexa for the first time and furrowed her brows. Lexa suddenly felt a flush on her cheeks at their proximity, the cold air against her bare legs became painfully apparent as realization hit both of them that she was wearing nothing but a long thin shirt. 

“Right” Clark clicked her tongue once before nodding slowly, slowly letting her eyes take Lexa in, “I guess, I’ll wait outside?”

“That would be preferable” Lexa quipped with a raised brow, not moving an inch despite their closeness. She watched a broad smile slowly spread across Clarks face, as a strange sensation rose up from her own stomach. 

She watched Clark leave and waited a beat before quickly turning around. She rushed towards her bed and began grabbing at whatever clothes she could find. Blindly she pulled on the first pair of pants that she placed her hands on, jumping slightly a few times to try and pull them on all the way. Where are my shirts? she looked blindly around the room, trying to find enough clothes to put together a decent outfit. 

Suddenly remembering, she leapt across the bed and found a clean shirt on the other side, along with a bra. She quickly finished dressing before throwing her boots on, grunting slightly at the effort. 

Heaving a sigh, she runs a quick hand through her hair and tries to get rid of any remaining bed head that she had. Her stomach growling slightly, she grabs a huge chunk of meat off the plate and shoves as much of it as she can in her mouth, chewing quickly. She felt a nervousness that she wasn't used to. Shaking her head, she shakes her arms out a few times as she swallows the meat dryly, trying to loosen and shake these odd nerves out of her system. 

Stepping out into the afternoon light, she stopped short at the sight of a smiling Clark, lightly bathed in sunlight. Lexa’s brain screeched to a halt as she momentarily forgot how to breath. She blinks a few times, trying to force her brain to start working again as she takes the full image in. Nothing has outwardly changed, and yet Clark looks different to her. The way the sun hits her, highlighting her light skin and blond hair amongst the drab grey and brown world around her. Most striking is the way her blue eyes reflect the light, seeming to do more then reflect the sun, but shine their own light that stemmed deep from within Clark.

Clark stood smiling, holding onto the reigns of a content Hecate, who shook her head lightly demanding attention from Clark who had stopped running her hands down her neck at the sight of Lexa appearing in the doorway.

“Hi” Clark said sheepishly, biting her lip lightly, all manner of confidence temporarily waning at the sight of Lexa’s raised eyebrow. 

Lexa took a few steps forward, trying to come up with something clever to say, but her brain was still trying to process the image of Clark standing there. Instead, she raises her eyebrows again, waiting for Clark to explain herself. 

“I though I would take you up on your offer?” Clark elaborates, her voice somehow huskier then it was before as she waits for Lexa’s response. 

Lexa took a moment to look around, and think through her next steps. I should have someone else teach her how to ride, she thought as she looked around. For some odd reason the space around them conspicuously empty, of course there is no one I would trust with Clarks life right now, she realized as she looked around hoping some other lifeforms would appear and settle the conflict for her. 

She let out a sigh, not even sure how Clark had been able to not only find her horse, but figure out which saddle was her’s and put it on the mare. She reluctantly reached her hand out for the reigns, which Clark handed over silently; brow furrowed in concern. “I hope it was not you that put the saddle on?” Lexa questions as she checks its position to make sure it was put on correctly. 

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t even know where to being” Clark answers, biting her lip again. 

Lexa stared at her lips, the way she chews on it is distracting for some reason. She shakes the thought of her head, turning her attention back to the mare. “What was the first thing I told you about a horse?” she asks as she runs her hands down Hecate’s neck. 

Clark thinks for a moment, looking up as she tries to remember the conversation, “always approach from the front?” she answers finally. 

“Correct” Lexa confirms, pleased to know that Clark was paying attention. “Do you remember how to get up?” she asks, turning towards Clark. 

“Foot goes there.” Clark says confidently, pointing at the stirrup. 

Dropping the reins for a moment, Lexa takes a step back to be behind the saddle, “you place your foot here, then swing your leg up and around the horse” Lexa clarifies, watching Clark closely. “Do you think you can manage that?” 

Clark nods confidently She approaches with little hesitation, placing her hand on the horn of the saddle and inhales with purpose as she sticks her foot in the stirrup. Before Lexa can correct her, she's throwing herself up, and using that momentum to whip her leg up in the air before swinging it over Hecate’s head. She lands with an uncoordinated thud onto the saddle, before realizing that she was facing backwards. She twists slightly, to look behind her at Hecate, who lifted her head at the new weight on her back, but didn’t move. 

Lexa tried her best to cover her smile, but failed miserably. 

“What? How?” Clark asks as she tries to figure out what she did wrong. She looks down at Lexa who had given up trying not to smile and was barely stifling the giggle that was bubbling up as Clark throws an angry glare her way. She barely succeeds in having her laugh come out as a muffled snort as Clark furrows her brow, a small pout playing itself across her lips. “I’m glad you find this funny” Clark glares out, crossing her arms across her chest in protest. Lexa could see the faint outline of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth though.

“Your other leg, Klark” Lexa clarifies in a more serious tone, as Clarks cheeks take on a rosy hue. Lexa bites the inside of her cheeks to try and retain a straight face. Eventually she succeeds in keep her smile toned down. Clark stands and carefully lifts her leg over Hecate’s head, as Lexa holds her thigh in an effort to support her before she falls off the saddle. “Try it again, but this time with this leg” Lexa directs her as Clark lands back on the ground, the flush spreading towards her neck now. Lexa can’t help but notice how cute Clark looks with blood pumping to her cheeks. She bites her tongue in an effort to not voice any additional opinion. 

“Right” Clark replies, rolling her eyes slightly. She places her foot in the stirrup, and this time lifts her left leg over the rear of the saddle. She's clumsy and uncoordinated, Lexa thinks as Clark wobbles slightly on her left, just barely stopping herself from falling out of the saddle on the other side. What an odd and cute combination, she adds to herself as Clark flashes Lexa a triumphant smile, landing with a satisfied thump and grips the horn. 

Lexa picks up one of the reigns that had fall on the ground, and reaches over to the other side to grab both pieces in one hand. She ties them together above Hecate’s neck and moves to hand the pieces to Clark. “Hold on to these, you are going to need them to steer. Now, gently kick her and she will start to move forward. Then its simply a matter of staying in the saddle”, Lexa looks up at Clark who stared back at her with a blank expression on her face, not moving to grab the reigns from Lexa’s fingers. 

Clark shakes her head as her eyes widen slightly in fear, “what?” she husks out, her breath catching in her throat slightly. 

“You do want to ride her, don’t you?” Lexa clarifies, “or did you just want to sit on her saddle?”, a slight annoyance creeps in to her voice as she waits for Clark to react. 

“Yes, I mean no, I mean…” Clark stumbles over her words for a moment, “I do want to ride her, I just don't know if I can…do it on my own…” She trails off, shrugging slightly at Lexa. 

Lexa stares at her impassively, slightly dumbfounded by the admission. “You wanted to learn to ride her, did you not?”

Clark nods, “I just didn’t think I would on my own and up here so fast” 

“How else did you expect to learn, Klark?” Lexa asks, annoyance dripping in her question.

The blond shrugs lightly, “would you…maybe mind..?” she doesn't finish the question, just lets the implication hang in the air between them. 

Lexa glances down for a moment, gauging her options before sighing again, this woman is going to be the end of me, she thinks as she pinches the bridge of her nose; realizing that there isn't another option available to her. “Hold this.” She hands Clark the reigns, who takes them tentatively. “Move this foot” she taps Clarks right foot and impatiently waits for her to remove it from the stirrup, before placing her own in its place. “Lean forward” she commands and waits for Clark to move up in the saddle, placing her hands on Hecate’s neck for support. 

Lexa swiftly lifts herself onto Hecate’s back, sliding easily into place onto the cantle behind Clark, who seemed frozen in place ahead of her. “Relax, Klark” she reached around her, trying to grab the reigns from her hands, “lean back or you’ll fall over.” 

Slowly, Clark leaned back, her warm body sitting flush with Lexa’s front as she tried to adjust herself in the saddle. 

For some reason, Lexa finds herself blushing at the contact. She clears her throat lightly, hoping that Clark doesn't notice the rose appearing on her own cheeks; and shifts slightly, trying to put some space between the two of them, before giving up on the useless endeavor. There is only so much space that can exist on top of a saddle. 

“I’ll need the other stirrup” she tells Clark, who quickly removes her foot and lets it dangle. “Ready?” she asks as she slides her foot in, trying to clear the nervousness out of her voice. 

Clark nods once and visibly tenses her shoulders as if preparing for impact. Lexa smiles at the action, clicking softly at Hecate, who perks her ears up and begins walking forward. “You don’t have to kick?” Clark asks, turning slightly to see Lexa’s face. 

“She knows my commands” is all Lexa responds. She leads them slowly out of camp, letting Clark get used to the gentle motion of the horse. She can feel her shifting slightly, trying to stay as far to the front of the saddle as possible. Irritated at their equal discomfort, Lexa reaches her free hand around Clarks waist and pulls her back slightly. “You don’t need to sit on the horn, Klark” she admonishes, “its uncomfortable for Hecate to have you riding so far forward on her shoulders.” 

“Sorry” Clark responds softly, settling back against Lexa and relaxing her shoulders slightly. “This is so cool” she whispers quietly as they leave the gates of the camp, Hecate leading them out towards an open field. 

Lexa bites back a smile at Clarks reaction, taking in the green land around them and trying to see it through Clarks fresh eyes. She debates for a moment before letting her hand fall to Clarks thigh, keeping it close in case Clark starts to suddenly slide off the saddle, at least that’s what she tells herself as she let it settle comfortably into its place. The sound of Hecate’s hoofs keeping some kind of odd beat as she leads them through the brush, enjoying each others company as they made there way through the well worn trail. 

Lexa inhaled deeply as they came out into the full sun again, high in the horizon on the other side of the expansive meadow lighting a sea of green, white, yellow, and blue as far as the eye can see. She hears Clark quietly gasp at the view. From up high, the meadow takes on a different appearance as the flowers and green grass seem to beckon a warm welcome to their arrival. Hecate pauses briefly, as if understanding that they both need a moment to take in natures beauty. 

Clark reclines fully into Lexa, the sudden pressure making her fingers twitch and her cheeks burn again. She glances at her, wide eyed and mouth slightly parted in a soft smile as her eyes constantly scanned every inch of space before them, as if trying to memorize every detail. 

At the sight, Lexa feels an incredible surge of energy shooting from the pit of her stomach. A nervousness that she still wasn't used to enveloping her again and it pulls at her. She can’t help the feeling of something within her springing to life, as that unfamiliar feeling tugs her core, trying to tell her something. 

Absentmindedly, she bites her lip as she takes the blond in, her bright blue eyes soaking everything in around her. For a split second, Lexa feels a pang of jealousy at her seeming ability to just live in the moment. She wished to be able to see the world for the first time through Clarks eyes, who soaked in every thing she surveyed as if she had never seen the field full of color before. 

Clark was all passion and righteous energy where Lexa was battle worn and weary. This combination frustrated her. She wasn’t used to being questioned or having to argue her point. At the same time, it also intrigued her, and she couldn’t help but be drawn to Clark when there was a fire lit behind her eyes. It was expected that she would find a warriors passion exciting. What surprised her at this moment though, was being drawn to Clark right now. In an empty field atop her mare, vulnerability and softness etched around the blonds curves as they pressed gently against her; and it stirred something in Lexa. 

Something new was stirring, yawning and waking in its unused state as it dusted itself off as if weary of being called upon again. She fought the urge to jump off and do something old and familiar and normal. It seemed like ever since humans rained down from the sky, normal and consistent had disappeared; replaced now with a foreign feeling that crept along the edges of her day to day. It made her second guess her actions, her intuition normally so sharp seemed to stutter around pale skin and deep blue eyes. 

She knew she needed to keep her distance from Clark, treat her as any other clan leader and assert her dominance to ensure that this alliance could work; focus on releasing her people from the mountains clutches. What she wanted to do right now though, was to pull her close, revel in the newness of the world with her; allow herself to get lost in this nervous feeling. 

Pushing through the conflict in her mind, she makes a sudden decision to follow her growing want versus the demanding need. Turning her head fully she feels her lips ghost against Clark’s ear as she whispers “Hold on, Klark” and relishes the feeling of the blond shivering reflexively. Without an additional word, she clucks twice to Hecate, who immediately starts trotting. 

Clark yelps at the sudden movement, and grabs Lexa’s free hand from her thigh for stability, pulling it close to her chest to stop her from falling out of the saddle. Lexa does not fight against her, instead, she enjoys the sensation of Clark’s tight grip around her arm as the horse pace quickens, and feels the nervousness dissipate slightly at the realization that Clark trusted her to keep her safe. Emboldened, Lexa clicks her tongue again, pulling Hecate into a full gallop. 

She pulls her arm tighter around Clark, forcing her to match the horses gate and catch her rhythm as they move quickly through the open field. It doesn't take Clark long to roll her hips with Lexa as they follow the gait of the horse, her confidence building as she loosens her grip on Lexa forearm. Lexa almost imperceptibly turns her head and softly nuzzles her nose into Clark’s hair, closing her eyes as she breathes in her warm scent as she feels Clark’s hips pressing against her with each stride. 

Something about the intimate action surprises Lexa, as she quickly pulls herself out of blond locks and shakes her head hard to refocus her attention forward, Clarks scent still trapped in her nostrils as if it permeated the space and made itself at home there. She frowned at her herself as she tried to understand what could have possibly motivated her to want to breath Clark in like that. It must have been in an effort to reassure herself of Clarks safety, she assured herself.

“I’ve got you” Lexa says over the rushing wind, their hair blowing as Hecate quickens her pace, enjoying the full gallop as much as they were. Clark lets go of Lexa and slowly stretches both her arms out, turning her hands out to feel the rush of air as it passes around them. Her head high, she lets out a whoop of excitement. 

Lexa quietly urges Hecate on, enjoying the feel of Clark’s body in front of her, her arm around her waist as she leans her head back on Lexa’s shoulder and closes her eyes; putting all her faith and trust into Lexa. “This is amazing!” Clark yells this time, turning slightly towards Lexa, “this is the most amazing feeling.” She reiterates, her expression earnest. 

Lexa smiles broadly back at Clark, nodding her head, gently squeezing her approval of the statement. After a few moments of the intense gallop, she softly pulls on the reigns, causing Hecate to come back down to a walk, and then a stop. Clark is panting slightly nearly matching Hecate’s own pants from the exertion demanded of her. “Would you like to hold her this time?” Lexa asks, holding the pair of leather strips up for Clark to take. 

With shaking hands, Clark gently takes them from Lexa and turns back slightly, unsure of what to do. Using both hands, Lexa pulls herself tighter against Clark to get a better view, her head nearly resting on Clark’s left shoulder, “You want to keep them loose, unless you want her to stop. Then you pull tightly back. You tell her to turn by pulling left or right on them” Lexa pulled on either side, forcing Hecate to turn her head. 

Clark nods as she watched Lexa carefully, separating the two pieces in her own hands, taking one in her right and one her left hand. “Like this?” 

Lexa furrows her brow slightly, “for now” she raises an eyebrow at Clark who wore confusion on her face. “Later, I will teach you how to properly hold them, but for now this works” Lexa clarified. 

“No” Clark responds keeping eye contact with Lexa, “teach me the right way.”

Lexa stares back at Clark for a moment squinting her eyes slightly, there was that fire again. She huffed out a short breath of annoyance more for Clarks benefit then her own. She secretly admired Clarks tenacity, but refused to admit it. She grabbed the reigns from Clark, and positioned her fingers in the correct place on Clarks left hand. “Like this” she added, “so your right hand is free.”

Clark stares at the awkward position of her fingers, as if memorizing the way they look and feel with the reigns in them. “Got it” she said finally, nodding. The way Clark said it gave Lexa no doubt that Clark did in fact have it, and would not need to be shown how to do it again. “Now what?” Clark asked, looking up from her hand and craning back to look at Lexa. 

Lexa felt Clarks breath on her face, and finds herself suddenly frozen at the realization of how close they were. Her mind seemed to slow down as she raked her eyes over Clarks features; another new habit she seemed to be forming. She squeezed her lips together in a movement of concentration as she caught Clarks soft eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment, neither moving nor saying anything. She was certain that the air was electrified with the very same energy that had been swirling at the base of her stomach. It felt as if the air around them was holding its breath as well, waiting for one of them to make a move. 

Lexa felt momentarily lost in clear blue eyes, she allowed her own green to shift down, slightly, once, then again, to Clark’s lips. The bottom lip was gently being sucked in and bitten by the blond as she stared back. A sudden urge hit her, to want to be the one biting down on it herself. It was maddening in its urgency and Lexa felt herself swaying slightly under its demand. Hecate shifted under them, breaking whatever trance they were caught in, and bringing a deep blush to Lexa’s face at the feeling of being caught in her thoughts, as if Clark could have read them. 

Lexa cleared her throat at the sudden shift in the air, pulling herself back behind Clark, who sat rigidly in the saddle. She clicked her tongue once, and let Hecate begin walking. She watched as Clark pulled the reigns from side to side, trying to get the horse to turn, but failing to. 

On impulse, Lexa placed her hand on top of Clarks, “like this” she said quietly, showing Clark how to use the reigns. Her hand stayed on Clarks for a few more moments, until she felt Clark was getting the hang of it. She reluctantly let it go, and let them hang listlessly against her side, careful to not touch Clark again. 

She leaned back putting space between the two of them, watching Clark work through a basic understanding of how to turn them, practicing moving the horse in large wide circles as she walked. Kicking the stirrups off her own feet, she kicked Clarks leg playfully, forcing her to turn around in the saddle to face her, “Put your feeing the stirrups, Clark. You’re going to need to learn how to control the horse properly when I am not there.” 

Clark looked down, and took a few attempts to try and get her right foot in but the stirrup kept twisting against her foot, refusing to allow her foot to slide in. Lexa rolled her eyes at the action, before getting frustrated at the failing attempts. “Stop” she ordered a startled Clark, before leaning down, balancing carefully on the saddle as she grabbed the swinging stirrup and held it for Clark to place her foot in it, then sat back up, preparing to do the same to the other side.

“You’re really good in the saddle” Clark says as she watches Lexa bend over again. Lexa looked up and squinted against the bright sun, seeing a blush grace the blonds face again. Why is she blushing now? Lexa thought to herself as she watched a foot clumsily slide into the stirrup. 

Just as she starts to pull herself back into a sitting position on the saddle, the blond shifts herself and as if testing out the stirrups, stretches her legs out and lets them fall hard against Hecate’s side. Thinking Clark was demanding she move again, Hecate shoots off like a rocket, and is more then excited to return to a trot. Clark screamed at the sudden movement, dropping the reigns as she blindly reached for the horn with both hands. She misses as Hecate changes from a trot into a gallop at another hit from Clarks swinging legs, and nearly topples over the right shoulder of the horse. 

Fuck! Lexa thinks as she squeezes her thighs to stay in place, no longer having the benefit of the stirrups. Seeing Clark nearly tumble off the horse she reaches blindly and grabs the blonds shoulder, pulling her back tight against her. She wraps her arm against Clark, who grips Lexa’s thighs with both hands in an effort to stabilize herself, to afraid to do anything else. 

Lexa grinds her teeth as Clarks fingers dig into her thigh, she will have a bruise there in the morning. Leaning forward slightly and picked up the reigns, she pulls Hecate to a sudden stop. The sudden stop of momentum causing the two of them to rock forward slightly. All three of them panted in silence, relief washing over the blond and brunette. 

Out of reflex, Lexa scanned their surroundings to make sure there was no additional danger, before scanning Clark’s small frame to make sure she wasn't somehow injured. A picture of Clark falling over Hecate’s shoulder and under the horse flashed through her mind, as she tightened her hold on the blond; her mind reeling at the possibility of Clark falling off and being seriously hurt or killed as she was trampled by Hecate. 

Clark sat unmoved, her fingers still digging into her thighs, her eyes wide in fear as her breathing slowly returned to normal; her shoulders holding additional tension. “It’s ok, Klark” Lexa whispers softly, loosening her hold but keeping her arm draped across Clarks chest. Holding on to her shoulder protectively she added, “I have you”. She dropped the reigns and gently coaxed one hand off her thigh, wincing slightly at the sudden relief from Clarks nails that had dug in.

Clark seemed to snap back to life, looking down at Lexa’s thigh and quickly pulling her other hand back as if Lexa’s thigh was on fire. She stared down at her hands, blinking but not saying anything for a few moments. Lexa firmly held her in place, a slight fear that if she let Clark go, she might float off somewhere and Lexa wouldn’t be able to bring her back. 

“Sorry” Clark mumbles softly as she let a sigh escape. “I didn’t realize…”

“You can’t panic like that, Klark” Lexa cut her off, now that the danger was over, she felt a small annoying wave of anger flash over her. “You control the horse, not the other way around.”

“I know, I just wasn’t ready”, Clark quickly countered. 

“You will not always be ready for what is going to happen, but you must to be prepared to deal with whatever comes your way.” Lexa snapped, “as a leader, you have a responsibility to always be thinking ahead, ready for anything” Lexa scolded from behind as she ran a frustrated hand threw her hair. “You have to have a plan, and answer for your people at all times. Anticipate your enemies movements so there are no surprises.”

“Like Chess” Clark responded absentmindedly, not noticing Lexa’s tone. 

“Yes, like…” Lexa stopped herself, realizing she had no idea what ‘chess’ was, “like what?” 

Clark smiled, turning slightly to try and see Lexa better, “chess” she repeated as if it would clear up the confusion. Lexa stared back blankly, searching her mind for recognition of the word. “It’s a game” Clark clarified, “all about strategy and thinking ahead to beat your opponent. You would probably like it.”

Lexa nodded once, grasping the little bit of understanding from the air that she could, “do you enjoy it?” she asked, her curiosity peeked.

Clark squinted slightly as if remembering something, “not anymore” she answered softly, her eyes flickering down briefly as she turned back around. 

Lexa waited to see if Clark would continue, but sensing another shift in the air, she realized that the blond wasn't going to add anything else to her statement. After a beat she smiled softly at Clark, “lets try this again. This time without the errant kicking.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that I completely skipped a section waaaaay back around chapter 19. If you are interested in what happened at the unity dinner, I added chapter 20; which is the precursor of Gustus being poisoned. Sorry about that! 
> 
> But. Guys! Did you watch last night? Did you? Oh man! I still cannot even with what happened. My mind reels with possibilities, and my fingers itch to get them all down! 
> 
> XO

Lexa stood in the middle of the meadow, keeping a close eyes on Clark as she carefully guides Hecate in large circles around her. “Back straight Clark, hands off the horn!” she reprimands the blond who had hunched over and was about to grasp the horn for stabilization. She watched as Clark straightened her back, a look of determination on her face as the circle tightened and Hecate speed up. 

Clark was riding so close now that Lexa could nearly reach out her hand and touch the horse, Clarks confidence has built up dramatically over the last few hours. After a few more minutes of tight circles Clark finally pulled the sweating, panting horse to a stop. “I think I’m getting the hang of it” she proudly beams at Lexa as she shifts slightly in the saddle. 

Much better, Lexa thought to herself as she walked over and grabbed the horses reign from the front. “We need to head back” was her only reply. “We have been gone for hours, and Hecate could use some water and rest.” 

Disappointment briefly flashed across Clarks face before she smiled wanly and nodded. “I suppose we should walk back? Give her a break?” Clark asked.

Lexa nodded, pulling the reigns out of Clarks hands and over the mares head, holding them as she waited for Clark to get down. The blond bit her lip for a moment as she brushed blond locks out of her face and looked down at the ground. She then leaned back against the saddle and pulled her leg over Hecate’s head. Lexa grimaced inwardly at the incorrect way Clark was climbing down from the saddle, but said nothing as she slid down the horses side like she was coming down a slide. 

She stood for about half a second before her legs gave out and she crumbled with a yelp to the ground. Hecate turned at the sound and nudged Lexa, who stood with a raised eyebrow staring at the crumbled heap of blond hair and limbs. She rolled her eyes at the horses nudge, and took a step forward. Finding Clark’s elbow, she pulled at a groaning Clark and got her back on unsettled feet. 

“Your legs aren't used to the workout” was the only explanation she offered to a confused Clark. She waited until Clark nodded her recognition before letting go of her arm and stepping back. 

“Thanks for the warning” Clark responded dryly, blowing hair out of her face. 

Lexa smiled inwardly at the action before turning and walking with Hecate in tow. “You’re probably going to hurt tomorrow” she added as Clark awkwardly followed. 

“Great” she heard the blond respond behind her. 

As they walked, Lexa’s mind turned back to TonDC and the reason why Clark was here in the first place. After a few moments she cleared her throat to break the silence that hung in the air, “we should speak of our plan. I have called for generals from all 12 clans to meet here. Tomorrow a strategy will have to be presented before the war council convenes.”

Clark nodded, keeping her eyes trained ahead, “I have a plan to get someone back inside the mountain.” 

Lexa nearly stops in her tracks at the statement, “you want to get someone inside the mountain? On purpose?” 

“I sent them last night” Clark responded simply. 

Lexa bristled slightly at Clark for deciding on a course of action without consulting her first. “One of your people?” She asked, needing clarification that she didn’t send one of her people to die at the hands of the mountain. 

“Yes…” she answered hesitantly before adding quietly, “and Lincoln.”

At this, Lexa stopped and turned to stare at Clark, who did not mimic her action and kept moving. “You sent one of my people into the mountain?”

“He volunteered to go” Clark said, not slowing her gait. 

“You had no right, Klark” Lexa felt frustration return at her audacity. She can endanger her people all she wants, Lexa fumed to herself, how dare she assume she can do the same with mine. 

Clark turned abruptly, “its done, Lexa” was all she offered back, her arms out as if daring Lexa to change the truth. “I have a plan, you have to trust me to get it done.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “trust you? I don’t even know your plan! Not to mention that I have had more strife since your arrival on my land then all my years as Heda! I don’t even know you well enough to be able to even think about trusting you!”

“Well…lets fix that” Clark responded with a slight shrug. “We have to trust each other if we are going to make this work.” She added as if it was the most obvious solution in the world, “if we can’t trust each other, how can we expect our people to trust each other?” 

Lexa stood, mouth agape for a moment, processing Clarks words. She has a point, she thought to herself, frowning slightly, but she can’t really expect it to be that simple. Sighing all Lexa could do right now was relent to Clarks point, “What is your plan?”

Smiling, Clark raised her eyebrows slightly before continuing, appearing to relish her small win, “They control the acid fog, they have steel doors that are impenetrable, and an entire eco system that doesn't require them to be reliant on anything outside their walls.” Lexa stood staring blankly back at Clark, who kept listing off the things that made it impossible to destroy their enemy.

“I am quite aware of why we have not been able to defeat them, Klark” Lexa cuts her off annoyed. “What is your plan to get in there and rescue our people?” 

Clark put her hand up as if to block Lexa’s anger from building, “It’s simple actually, we get a man inside.” She paused, letting the solution hang in the air. “Once Bellamy gets inside, he can lower their defenses. We attack once the acid fog is down. Easy.” Clark added with a small shrug.

Lexa stared back into blue eyes, challenging her without saying a word. “Bellamy?” she asked, a sour taste filling her mouth at his name. “With Linkon. Who used to be a Reaper.” Clark nodded once, blue eyes challenging back. “Are both heading inside the mountain?” Clark nodded again. 

Lexa chewed the inside of her lip for a moment as she thought through the likelihood of Clarks plan working. It struck her as odd that Clark had but a few weeks on Earth, and yet she was making decisions as if she had been here all along. Something about that decisiveness irked her, as if she was being pushed aside while Clark charged forward without her. “And you think that sending a Reaper back into the mountain with Bellamy, who has never been inside, is a good idea?” she questioned.

“Former Reaper” Clark corrected her, “and once inside, Bellamy will be able to communicate with us so we can walk him through how to disable the acid fog.”

She frowned slightly, “you expect my army to just stand around wait for these two to somehow infiltrate this impenetrable fortress, break through systems and somehow lower their defenses?” 

Clark cocked her head slightly, “well, no. We have to prepare to attack as soon as their defenses are down.” 

She sighed softly, fighting the urge to shake her head, “your people have approved of this?” 

Clark looked away briefly before responding, “Not exactly.” Lexa raised her eyebrow as she waited for Clark to continue, “Only a few people know of the plan.”

“Do you know why I have been successful as Heda?” She asked, moving forward to catch up with her. 

“Must be your sparkling personality?” Clark snarked back, a sarcastic smile on her lips. Lexa glared at her without responding, “why?” she asked after a beat.

“Because I listen to my people” Lexa clarified, “tomorrow, you will present your plan to the clans, it is up to you to convince them that this is the best plan of action. It is up to me to unite them on a single course of action. In order to do that, I must heed their advice, otherwise I would never be able to convince them to work together.” 

Clark walked silently beside her for a few moments, letting it soak in. “I have been inside the mountain, Lexa” Clark looked at her with intensity in her eyes, “I know what its going to take to free out people.” 

Lexa nodded, turning her eyes back towards the trail they were on, Hecate nickering softly behind her. “Your people need to learn how to fight”, Lexa said after a few moments of silence. 

Clark ran a hand through her hair, as she released a deep sigh, “we didn’t really have a need to learn how to fight up in the Ark.” 

“My people need to learn how to work with your people.” Lexa nodded once to herself, an idea forming in her mind. Clark looked at her with expecting eyes, “I will send Indra and a small group of warriors to your camp tomorrow, she will show any of your people who are willing, how we fight”. 

She turned to see Clark biting her lip, her brow furrowed in deep concentration, “are you sure that’s safe?” Clark asked quietly. 

“We don’t exactly have a choice, Klark. Like you said, our people need to learn to trust each other” she turned and caught Clarks eyes and raised an eyebrow as she waited for a response. 

Clark smiled widely, “it’s just” she hesitated for a moment, “I can’t imagine her embracing the idea of being surrounded by my people. Indra’s not exactly the nicest person” she trails off with a raised eyebrow.

Lexa cocked her head slightly as she imagined a scowling Indra being surrounded by smiling sky people, she couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out of her at the absurd statement. She glanced at Clark who was suddenly laughing as well.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double post again today, I spent some time cleaning up some of the next few chapters and am well into season three now. I have a theory on what is going to happen and I'm trying not to let it filter the work to much. My goal is to post the end of season 2 by the end of the week! 
> 
> Quick question for everyone, is this still working for you? I just want to make sure that this is still something that people are enjoying and want to read. I've noticed a steady decline in hits on the story and I am wondering if anyone is still out there?
> 
> XO

Lexa stood at the table, in her usual stoic reserve firm on her face, watching an impassioned Clark answer question after question from her generals. She stood transfixed, an imperceptibly raised eyebrow being the only indication that she was actually listening to anything that was happening around her as ideas were thrown around, all countering Clarks plan. Lexa wasn’t sure if they were merely trying to come up with a strategy, or if they were just adamantly opposed to anything the Skaiprisa had to say. 

Quint’s baritone voice snapped her out of her thoughts, “this argument is a waste of time. It is simple. If they can’t breath our air, why not just open the door and be done with it? Let them burn.” 

Murmurs of agreement from around the room echo his words, “burn them! Burn them!” 

Clark shakes her head adamantly, “No, because they have a containment system.” She’s already explained this point, Lexa realizes. “Multiple airlocks, just like we had on the Ark. Our inside man can shut that down” she emphasizes, bring attention back to her original plan.

“If he gets inside” Quint growls back, rolling his eyes. 

Growing tired of the back and forth between them, Lexa speaks up for the first time, voicing a thought that she had rolling around in the back of her mind. “What if we shut it down from the outside?” She turns to Clark, eyebrows raised in expectation. Clark looks at her, surprised by the option. Her brows knit as she thinks through Lexa’s question. “You say the dam gives them the power. Lets take that away.” 

Lexa feels a small flicker of hope at the potential for a new plan to work, she watches Clark mentally process her idea before responding in a softer voice then how she’s responded to anyone else in the room, “that dam withstood a nuclear war, commander. I highly doubt…”

“AGH!” Quint slams both fists on the table in angry frustration, glaring at Clark who rolls her eyes at the gesture. He turns his attention towards Lexa, “all she offers is no!” 

Lexa snaps her attention at him, growling his name, “Quint.” She simply states, her eyes bearing down the only words that need to be said. Her menacing glare warning him, waiting for him to make his decision. Give me a reason, she begs him as a flicker of doubt crosses his face. 

Quint stands up slowly, maintaining eye contact for a moment before glancing down. “Apologies, commander”, he says bowing his head slightly in a subservient gesture. “But the biggest army we’ve ever had waits for us to give it a mission. The longer that takes, the more of our people will die inside that mountain.”

Lexa’s mask is in place, she knows that, but she can’t help the flare of desperation that fans across her body at the reminder of those trapped inside the mountain. 

“Its the same for all of us” Clark challenges back, breaking her out of her reverie. 

Rage flickers behind Quint’s eyes at her statement, “We’ve lost thousands. How many have you lost, girl?” he stares down Clark, his fists balled as he waits for a response. Clark doesn't respond, but Lexa can see her bravado falter for a moment. “She says she has a plan. I say waiting for one man to get inside” Quint continues, shaking his head as he meets her gaze, “is not a very good one.”

She stares Quint down, listening intently to his impassioned plea, focusing on keeping her stoic mask on in order to not reveal anything. Off to her side, she hears another general speak up, “I agree with Quint. We have an army, lets use it.”

Clark steps in, responding quickly, “we will. After Bellamy lowers their defenses, turns off the acid fog. I don't care how many men you have. If you can’t get to your enemy, you can’t win.” 

“You are the enemy” Quint growls out, getting a few nods from generals in the room. 

This is getting out of hand, Lexa thinks to herself as she watches Clark flinch at Quints words before stepping up to him, “I’m sorry. Have I done something to offend you?” Her eyes lit with blue fire as she looks up at him. 

Quint takes the bait and approaches Clark, while her guard moves closer to protect her. “Yes” he spits out, eyes wide with barely contained rage, “You burned my brother alive in a ring of fire.” 

Clark’s face betrays her for a moment, as she looks around. Inhaling, she steps forward and closes the space between her and Quint, looking up to his eyes. “He shouldn’t have attacked my ship” she says in a strong quietly voice.

“You’re very brave under the commander’s protection, aren't you?” Quint responds, his hand moving towards his dagger slowly, never breaking eye contact with Clark. 

“Nou mou” (Enough) Lexa orders, stopping him before he can do something stupid. 

Quint after a moments pause keeps his eyes on Clark, “Ai ni nou hon hukop" (I cannot be in an alliance), he breaks eye contact with Clark, turning his attention to Lexa before continuing, “ni kom disha kru” (with these people). He stalks back to his spot, waiting for Lexa to make a decision, ignoring Clark.

Glaring at Quint as he walks back, she waits until he drops his gaze from her before picking up the drawing of the mountain that Clark had drawn for her earlier that day. “Quints right.” she says not looking up from the parchment. After a moment she looks up at Clark and narrows her eyes, “waiting for Bellamy is not a plan, its a prayer.” She sees Clark bristle slightly at the comment, as if wounded by Lexa’s words, “one that is not likely to be answered.” she continues, standing with her people in his regard. She needed Clark to fight harder for her plan, to convince her people that it can work. It was necessary, they needed to buy it from Clark, not her. In order for the alliance to move forward, Clark needed to prove herself as a capable commander of the Skaïkru, like she has proven herself as Heda. 

Clark swallows hard, keeping her gaze for a moment. She could see the conflict playing out in her eyes. Lexa trusted Clarks instinct just as much as her own, but she couldn’t place all her faith in one man. It was reckless and they both knew that. “Excuse me” Clark finally spoke up, breaking eye contact and scanning the room, “I need some air.”

She watches as Clark leaves the room, Sgt. Burns following in her wake quietly. Frustrated, she pretends to study the plans for another moment as silence fills the room. After another beat, Quint leaves with his second following close behind him. Having lost any momentum from the meeting, Lexa calls for a brief break, releasing everyone from the room. 

She stares down at the table, frustrated at the turn of events. She could listen to the warnings of her generals, bypass Clarks plan and attack the mountain on their own. She could just as easily ignore her generals warnings, push past their concerns and follow Clarks lead, placing the weight of their hopes on one mans ability to climb inside the depths of hell. Neither option was attractive, and the more she searched her mind for an exit strategy that would guarantee freedom for her people, the more frustrated she felt at her lack of options. 

After a while, she notices that Clark has not returned and Quint is still missing. A realization hits her like a wall of bricks, a cold clamminess takes hold as her heart begins to pound in her ears. Clark is in trouble, her mind screams at her, demanding she do something about it. 

She stands frozen, she has no proof, no indication that this is in fact true; but she feels it with every fiber of her being. “Guards!” she bellows, moving swiftly to the entrance of the room. Three men appear alarmed at the door, hands ready to pull their swords out to protect Lexa. “Search the woods, find me the Skaiprisa!” she orders, running past them and out to the woods “I need her alive!” she warns.

Without Indra or Gustus at her side, there is no one to be her anchor now. No one to stop her from being erratic, no one to remind her of her place or her training. No one to calm her fears and remind her of her role. Her chest tightens as she thinks about the possibility of Quint hurting Clark, about finding her mangled and destroyed body. She was losing control of her people, of her generals. The more she fought to include the sky people, the more her people fought her on it. The more desperate she felt to get them to work together.

She quickly found tracks in the soft mud, Clarks boots, she thought as she tracked them through the mud. “She went this way” she says as she quickens her pace, not pausing to see if anyone follows her. 

The sounds of a struggle echoes in the woods, but they are reverberating amongst the canopy and the sound is disorientating as she tries to pin point the location. It feels like an eternity of blind running before she hears Clark scream to her left. Without saying a word, she changes directions and can finally see through some thick green branches, Quint wrestling Clark to the ground. 

She isn't sure how she could still be breathing, because the sight of Quint choking Clark causes her heart to jump to her throat and her vision to go a hazy red. Steadying herself, she pulls her dagger out and in one swift motion throws it at Quint, hitting him directly in his forearm, thereby rendering him useless. 

Pure adrenaline is pouring through her body as she see’s him fall off Clark. She fights the urge to run to her, to pick her up and check her for wounds or damage. Instead, she forces herself to walk, although with purpose, catching up to them just as Clark is picking herself off the ground and pointing her gun at the man. 

Makanu pulls his blade out, stopping Quint from retaliating as she walks up to him and pulls her dagger out of his arm, intentionally turning it slightly to cause more pain. He screams in pain at the action, staring up at her in confusion. 

“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op” (Attack her and you attack me) she growls out her answer his confusion with a simple response. 

“Thank you.” Clark stares back at her breathless. 

Stupid girl, Lexa thinks as she looks her over, a tight ball of fear unwinds itself in her stomach at the knowledge of close she came to losing Clark. She doesn't look damaged, no blood and nothing broken, she realizes as her eyes continue to scan Clarks body. Relief washes over her at the welcomed realization, before she notices that Clark is alone and relief is replaced with rage. “Where is your guard?” she snaps out. 

Clark glares down at Quint, “he killed her.”

Quint is still panting from the pain as he responds, “em ste spichen. Ai gonplei kamp raun em en nou moun” (she lies. My fight is only with her) he adds, sitting up as he stares Clark down. 

Disgust filling her mouth, she only wishes she could be the one to end his life for the pain he intended to inflict on Clark, “yu gonplei, ste odon” (Your fight, is over) she informs him. Turning to Clark as a sign of honor, “the kill is yours, Clark” she puts her dagger away and takes a few steps back, giving Clark the necessary room to enact her revenge. 

Clark glances down at her gun as Quint stands up, turning his broad body towards her. He does not fight, nor does he argue for his life. She can see Clark fighting internally with what to do. She sees a certain level of pain mixed with confusion on her face. Softening her own features, she tries to encourage her with a simple raising of her eyebrows. If Clark is to survive in this world, she is going to need to harden her heart and deliver hard choices just as she does. 

Suddenly, out of the woods comes the most fierce and angry roar. A chill runs down her back as she turns towards the sounds direction. She can hear the trees groaning and snapping in protest as the sound edges closer. Her eyes scanning the green landscape, she tries to gauge how far away it might be, how much time do they have before they are torn to shreds. 

Panic fills Clarks voice, “what is that?” she asks in a hushed tone. 

Lexa does not stop scanning the trees, just barely making out the shaking movement of the creature in the distance. We can run if we have a distraction, she thinks to herself before answering “pauna” (Gorilla) in nearly a whisper. Perhaps this will give us just enough time to disappear into the trees, she thinks before pulling her sword from behind her back and slashing Quints leg in one swift motion. “RUN!” she screams in a slight panic as black fur breaks through green branches.


	28. Chapter 28

Following behind Makanu, they race through the path towards a new tree line, leaving Quint behind as bait for the fierce creature. In a blind panic, they run as hard and as fast as they can. 

“What do we do?” Clark shouts at her from behind, just barely keeping up. 

“We have to hide!” she yells back, trying to find some place that will keep them safe. Her eyes scan the tree tops in hopes that she can find a place to store Clark while she and Makanu distract the great beast and lead it away.

“This way” Clark yells as she veers off the path, “I found something” she points towards a circular grate that seems to be holding closed a circular cave entrance. Without hesitation, the three of them force the grate off the entrance and climb through. 

Lexa’s blood runs cold at the sight on the other side. Blood and bones are scattered amongst green and slate rocks. Carcasses of half eaten animals are strewn about the square space. 

“What is this place?” Clark pants out as her eyes dart around. 

Lexa scans the walls for an exit, “It’s her feeding ground” she responds, trying to keep her voice calm despite the panic inside. An angry roar draws their attention towards the direction they came. She’s not far, Lexa thought to herself as hope begins to fade, I saved Clark from Quint to only bring her into the hands of an even worse fate. 

“Lets go” Clark demands, rousing her back to life. She watches as Clark pulls herself up onto the rocks and begins climbing higher, Lexa at her heels. She turns a corner and nearly tumbles backwards before Lexa can reach her. Somehow she catches herself as Lexa realizes she had almost thrown herself at the remaining half of a moose carcass. 

Another roar signals Pauna’s arrival. She and Clark stand on the highest ledge while, Makanu pulls his sword out below. She reaches for her sword and stands guard, trying to quickly think through a plan that could leave both her and Clark alive. 

The grim reality is that there would be little chance that they would survive this encounter. 

She turns and catches Clarks eye and tries to nod reassuringly at her, but she is having a hard time catching her own breath from the fear. Her palms are sweating, making it hard to keep a firm grip on her hilt, and her breath refuses to slow. She watches Clark turn away, her mouth open in a pant, her shoulders hunched as she stares out into the green landscape, gun at the ready. Lexa swallowed once, and inhaled slowly. Trying to force her body to calm down, for time to slow enough so she could think clearly.

She should not be afraid of death, she knew her spirit would move on and find a new place to continue to lead her people. Her death was not exactly where her fear stemmed from, even if she didn’t have time to process the real reason at that very moment. Some where in the back of her mind she realized that Clark did not believe in their ways, where would her spirit go? Would she be lost to her for all eternity? 

Time seemed to stand still with each second of silence that followed the beasts roar. Suddenly three large trees fall forward as the giant black beast launches itself into the air with an angry howl. 

Pauna lands at the base of the enclosure, as it slams its body down onto Makanu who can only scream in terror as it drops its fists down like hammers onto his body. It grabs his lifeless form and slams it back against the wall behind it. Pauna turns to them now, thumping her chest and letting out a roar of triumph over her kill. 

Lexa reflectively steps back at the action, sheer terror coursing its way through her body as her mind realizes that they are in fact trapped, and there is no way out. 

Clark raises her gun and shoots at the beast, who’s head is knocked back slightly at the action. In anger, it throws a large rock at them which flies over their heads and shatters above them. They both duck as debris falls around them. Clark quickly shoots three more times at the great beast, knocking it down. 

Relief floods her body, coursing its way through her veins at nearly the same speed as the adrenaline had when she first heard its yell. Panting, she glances at Clark to make sure that she was still ok before taking a step forward to see the dead beast. 

Suddenly, it was up and climbing its way up the ledge, Lexa readies her sword in response, ready to defend Clark with her life. Instead, Clark pulls at her, drawing her back as she pulls her arm. “Come on!” she yells, forcing Lexa to follow as they raced through the back of the cage and jump down and under a small bridge. 

The Pauna screams in rage, shaking her very heart in its fierce anger. She and Clark reach the edge of the enclosure having effectively run out of space to escape. She looks down the drop, another cage to die in, she thinks to herself before turning. She is ready to die in glory, and will do more then a little damage to the great beast before it can consume her. She would lay her life down for Clark, at least giving her a fair chance at escaping as the beast is becomes distracted with her body. 

She suddenly feels Clark disappear, and turns to see her flying through the air and landing hard against the wall. This girl is insane, she thinks as she tucks her sword behind her, and takes a few steps back before she leaps. Pauna is racing towards her, she can feel the ground shaking as the beast nears. She cannot hesitate anymore. 

She jumps and drops down hard on her left side. She hears sometime crunch and pop out of place as excruciating pain radiates over her body. Letting out a small yell, she tries to stand, but the pain has caused her feel dizzy and weak. Clark is there, pulling her up, grabbing her other arm and her leg holster in an effort to haul her up quicker. Carrying her towards a small square hold in the wall, they move as quickly as they can. Clark struggling to walk on a hurt ankle and Lexa who's entire left side felt like it had been shattered. 

Pauna jumped down and slammed equally hard against the wall behind her as they neared the small hold in the wall. Without hesitating, she pushes Clark through first before feeling something grab her leg from behind. She reaches out with her right arm and grabs hold of a pipe as Clark grabs her arm to try and pull her in. 

“LEAVE ME!” she screams at Clark, begging her to run and save herself. She feels the claws of death wrapping firmly around her ankle, pulling her foot nearly out of its socket. 

“NO!” Clark shouts back as she pulls her gun out and begins shooting rapidly behind her. The beast screams as it lets her go, giving her just enough time to scramble through the hole with Clarks help, who quickly shuts the small square door behind them.

They run through another empty space, before reaching a dead end, Clark drops her on the ground, as the jolt forces pain through her entire body. She can hardly breath, the pain is so intense, nor can she make sense of Clarks actions. She feels the sword pulled out from behind her, and hears metal closing, but she can hardly think through what’s happening behind her. 

Pauna screams in rage as it bangs on the smaller outer door. She fights the urge to vomit from the intensity of pain as she tries to stand up. But it was no use, her left side was to damaged for her to do anything but sit and catch her breath.

After a few moments, the pain has subsided enough that she can glance around their surroundings and actually process what’s around her. There is a nothing but some useless scraps of cloth on the ground. There are bars that show some kind of external area, but they are surrounded by rock and iron. The bars only teasing at the possibility of freedom on the other side. There is no escaping this hole. 

Clark silently surveys her shoulder, pressing lightly as Lexa hisses in pain. “I think its dislocated” she says quietly as she slowly extends her arm. 

Sharp pain radiates through her arm and down her left side, as a wave of nausea courses through her again. She feels slightly dizzy as her focus drops. “Can you fix it?” she asks through gritted teeth, trying to hold herself together. 

“On three?” Clark asks, waiting for Lexa to nod. She inhales deeply and holds it as she nods her approval. “One, Two…” Without warning, Clark pops her shoulder back into place, nearly knocking Lexa back with the force as she slams her mouth shut, biting back a yell of pain. 

“What happened to three?” Lexa grunts out, her face sweating and slightly pale from the exertion. 

Clark just shrugs her response as she picks up something from the ground and begins binding her arm with some of the fabric, using it to build a brace for her arm. Lexa wants to say something, thank her, but she is to embarrassed at having been hurt in front of Clark to come up with something clever. Instead, she sits quietly and lets Clark bandage her arm up, hoping that Clark will break the silence first.   
I couldn’t save us, she thinks glumly. Narrowing her eyes, she realizes that it was Clark that had quickly through their situation and had somehow managed to guide them to safety. She shifts her head to the side to give Clark more room to work, and feels that odd sensation again. As if her intuition is screaming at her to notice or acknowledge something, but the pain from her arm is radiating still and she's having a hard time focusing as is. She could have ran. She should have ran, she chances a glance at Clark who was concentrating on easing her arm into the sling, I would have ran. The thought brings her to a sudden stop, would she have left Clark behind, to fend for herself against Pauna? No, I didn’t leave her behind, I put her first, Lexa realizes as the image of Clark grabbing on to her as the black ape grabbed on to her foot replayed itself in her mind, I would have sacrificed myself for her…but why?

“You should have left me behind” she finally breaks the silence, gritting her teeth slightly as Clark finishes tying the fabric. She needs Clark to start thinking like a leader, she needs to know that Clark can make the difficult choices when the time comes. The sudden need to know that Clark can do this even if she isn’t around is glaringly present as she voices the obvious. “Now two will die here instead of one” she whispers out, quietly acknowledging their mutual fate. 

Huffing slightly, Clark licks her lips as she turns “I’m still new to your culture,” she walks towards the iron bars, her back to Lexa, “but when someone saves your life. My people say thank you.” 

“I’m serious clark” Lexa’s voice softens slightly as Clark uselessly tugs against the bars, “to lead well, you must make hard choices”

“Hard choices?” Clark turns and confronts Lexa, “Your telling me that!”

“I’ve seen your strength, its true” Lexa maintains a soft tone to her voice, hoping to break through to Clark, get her to understand the gravity of her decisions. “But now you waver. You couldn't kill Quint.” She hesitates slightly before adding, “you couldn't leave me to die. That was weakness.”

Clark squints her eyes, she can see her grinding her teeth as she jaw moves slightly, “I thought love was weakness” she spits out, before turning back towards the bars again. 

Lexa fought the urge to roll her eyes at this childish display, “mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Klark” she chastises. 

Clark suddenly turns towards her biting back, “you want to know why I saved you? Because I need you.” She takes a few steps forward, standing inches away, her anger rolling off of her in waves. “God forbid one of your generals becomes commander”, she adds with a roll of her eyes. Lexa searches blue eyes and marvels at their hidden strength, at the determination that she has inside her. It was riveting to see and she had a hard time turning away. “You may be heartless Lexa, but at least your smart.”

She can’t stop the smile that forms on her lips, trying her hardest to maintain composure, but unable to at the hint of a compliment from the blond, “don’t worry, my spirit will choose much more wisely then that” she calmly informs Clark, a small smirk plastered on her face. 

Clark’s brow furrows, “your spirit?” 

“When I die”, Lexa slowly explains, as if speaking slower would help Clark understand better, “my spirit will find the next commander.” It was obvious, why is this so hard for her to understand? she thought to herself as recognition took hold of Clark. 

“Reincarnation” she husks out quietly. “Thats how you became commander” she searches Lexa’s eyes for confirmation. 

“How are your leaders chosen?” she can’t help but ask the stupid question, as if there was another way for one to be chosen to lead their people. 

Suddenly Pauna starts screaming, banging against the walls of the cage. It felt like the entire room was about to cave in on itself from the strength of its attack. 

They moved back in unison. Lexa’s good arm flew out in front of Clark in a protective measure as they put distance between the door and themselves. Both of them stared at the door as it started to violently shake. 

“It found us” Clark’s breathing became erratic as fear took over. 

Her sword would not hold for very long against the force of Pauna’s attack. Feeling the bars pressed against her back, she tries to calm the blond down. “Don’t be afraid Klark, death is not the end.” Adrenaline starts coursing through her veins, preparing her body for the oncoming attack. She feels the strain against her shoulder as she tries to flex her body, testing her own capabilities. 

“We are not dying here!” Clark commands, her chest rising and falling with her erratic breath, “I need your spirit to stay right where it is” she demands, her attention focused on the pounding door. 

Lexa steadies herself, we are going to die, but we are going to die like warriors, she thinks to herself, “then get ready to fight” she pulls her dagger out and takes a few steps ahead of Clark, putting herself between the door and the blond, “because its coming in.” 

Her sword bends with each angry slam against the door, its only a matter of time before the beast breaks in. Clark suddenly starts moving towards the door, “maybe we let it in” she says as she blows past Lexa, running towards the door. “Come here” she tells Lexa, who can only follow behind her. 

They place their backs against the door, all Lexa can do is follow Clarks lead, and hope she has a better idea in mind. “Now!” Clark yells as she lifts the sword from the door and drops it on the ground. With one angry push, Pauna slams through the door and charges in, unable to stop her own momentum, she slides across the empty space towards the back wall. Clark grabs her and pushes her through the door, “Go!” she screams as they run out the door with Pauna not far behind. Clark slams the door shut and pulls the lever down, securing the door in place just as Pauna slams against the metal door. 

Her heart beating like crazy, Lexa can only stare in awe at Clarks quick thinking. There is something special about her, she thinks as they both stared at each other for a brief moment before the door slams again, shaking the walls of the space. Nodding, she grabs Clarks hand and pulls her out of the space, needing to see and feel fresh air on her face again.


	29. Chapter 29

They ran out of the feeding area and made their way blindly through the woods in a hard run, desperate to put as much ground between them and the big black beast. After a few moments Clark collapsed to the ground, her ankle finally giving out. Surveying their surroundings, Lexa frowns slightly, they will have to stop here and rest, there is no other choice. 

She kneeled down, she gently placed her finger under Clarks chin and pulled Clarks face up to meet her gaze, verifying the grimace of pain on the blonds face as she clutched her ankle. “We are both injured, we must stop here and rest.” 

Clark shook her head, “no, we have to keep moving, we have to get back to camp. I'm fine” she added stubbornly, trying to avoid Lexa's gaze. 

“Klark” she chastised, sitting on the ground next to her, “you cannot run, and I cannot fight. We must stop.” 

Clark shook her head, but did not respond. Lexa watched her quietly, letting her make up her mind without pushing her further, “fine.” Clark answered resolutely, “I will gather some firewood, we are going to need a heat source.” 

Lexa nodded, standing up and brushing herself off with her good hand, “I will find us something to eat.” She turned and began walking off, catching sight of a small trail that she was certain an animal would use.

“How are you going to hunt with only one good arm?” Clark asked, standing up slowly, testing her ankle. 

Smiling, she turned towards Clark and raised an eyebrow, “I guess dinner has a fair chance for once.” Winking, she turned and walked away, dagger in hand, in search of something small to help sustain her and Clark.   
___

It took her 30 minutes to find and catch a small hare. It was large enough that it would quell the hunger that they had, and give them enough energy to get back to her village. She knew that they had burned excessive amounts of energy, and it wouldn't do either of them very good to try and continue on an empty stomach. Not to mention the possibility that they might have to fight off Pauna if she was to break free. 

She found Clark blowing softly at the fire she had started, and feels a slight warming feeling radiating from her chest at the sight. Watching the level of concentration on the blonds face as she carefully pilled wood together and whiskered encouragement into the fire was adorable. 

Without a word, she sat on the other side of the growing fire, and silently thanked it for its sacrifice, killed it and began to skin the rabbit. Clark watched her intently, her brow furrowed in concentration as she absentmindedly fed more twigs to the fire. Lexa grabbed some thicker sticks and figured out a way to hold the hare over the fire. 

“What was that?” Clark asked, breaking the silence. 

Lexa looked up, startled. She shook her head, confusion written on her face, “what?”

“When you were preparing the rabbit, it looked like you were praying?” Clark clarified, throwing another piece of wood in the small pit. 

Lexa smiled before responding, “I was thanking the hares soul, for its sacrifice. We honor not just human life, but animal life as well” Clark nodded, staring at the meat as it cooked. “It is because of its life that we are able to sustain ourselves.”

They said nothing more to each other as they both stared at the food, each lost in their own thoughts. 

“Does everyone reincarnate?” Clark asked suddenly. 

Lexa inhaled softly, looking around as she tried to find the words to explain. She tests the meat to see if it is fully cooked before answering, “Few warriors are given the option to come back. It is not an easy process, and so far, we only know of the spirit of Heda returning successfully.” 

“How do they know it’s the right spirit?” she asked, stirring the fire a little with a long stick. “Can’t anyone just say they have the spirit of the Commander inside them?”

Lexa bit her lip slightly to hide the smile that formed, “we have tests. Leaders who are trained in making sure that the right Commander is identified.” She pulls the rabbit out of the fire, and begins cutting off pieces with her dagger. She blew lightly on it before handing the first piece to Clark. “No one knows all the tests, and a committee must come together to decide. Each one contributes a piece of their knowledge, working together to create one unified answer.” She took a bite of meat and let it swarmth fill her before continuing, “The spirit chose me when I was very young, the youngest ever to go through the trials successfully.”

“That must have been hard” Clark said after a moment of silence, she took more meat from Lexa before continuing, “to suddenly be in charge of everyone, at such a young age.” 

Lexa nodded reflexively, but did not say anything in response. It had been hard, and a heavy burden was constantly placed on her shoulders. But she knew that the spirit would not have chosen her if she could not do what is right for her people. She held on to that belief with an iron grip. "No different then your journey, as I have come to understand?" she questioned, arching an eyebrow at the blond. 

Clark chewed reflectively, her eyes narrowed at the statement, "I guess" Clark shrugged. 

“You should get some rest”, she tells Clark, talking as she took another bite of meat. 

Clark nodded as she finished her half of the rabbit, then cleaned her hands off on her pants, she looked around before deciding to lay down near the fire. Lexa stood and positioned herself against a log, intent on keeping her eye trained in the direction of where Pauna was still angrily beating against the metal door. 

She watched Clark laying on the other side of the fire. Her eyes closed, her hair falling slightly over her face. She shook her head, trying to shake the feeling away, the nervousness she felt when she was close to Clark, it was distracting. She watched her fall sleep, wishing she could clear a particular strand away from her face, as it was blocking her view of soft skin and plump lips. Chastising herself for her thoughts, she forced herself to look away, and keep an eye on the forest around them. 

"Except its not." Clark said suddenly as she rolled onto her back. Lexa stared at Clark and waited for her to elaborated. After a light huff, she finally matched Lexa's gaze, "you spent your whole life being trained to survive here, to deal with conflict and loss. I..." Clark shook her head, looked up at the sky again, "I was discarded with no expectation of survival, I'm on trained as a leader. I don't have some cosmic connection to leaders from the past. I'm just...." She watched Clark bite her lip, searching for the words, "winging it."

Furrowing her brow, she thought about Clarks words as she watched the blond stare off into the sky. A sudden realization hit her that Clark had not only somehow managed to survive, but had become a worthy adversary amongst her people. A new swell of respect rose within her as she gazed at the blond, 

She allowed herself to think through the last few days. How much had changed in such a short span of time. She felt weariness take over her body, but she could not sleep, her shoulder a dull consistent throb now that adrenalin had drained itself from her body. No, how could she sleep while she was watching over Clark? This new need to protect her and keep her safe was intense; despite the aggravation the blond seemed to be constantly causing her. 

As dusk began to fall and Clarks breathing evened out indicating she was asleep, her thoughts turned to Gustus, to Costia, and to Clark. Lately it seemed all thoughts lead to Clark. She let her mind wander over love found, and trust lost. Who was left in this world that she could put her faith into? That she could rely on to stand by her side with sword drawn, that she could share the struggle of leading her people with? Someone to build a life with in times of peace. She sat like this for a while, letting her eyes settle blankly on the world around her. 

Suddenly, Pauna slammed against the cage door with such intense ferocity that it seemed to shake the entire forrest floor. Clark awoke with a start, panic on her face as she looked around. “Its ok. Your safe” she reassured Clark in a calm voice.

After a beat, Clark turned her attention to Lexa, “Hows your arm?” her voice carried a slight husk from sleeping. 

Wincing at the attempted shrug, she answered softly, “Hurts.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Lexa focused on the softness around her weary blue eyes. She searched her face, unsure of what she was looking for; but not wanting to turn away either. “We should go, that cage won’t hold forever” Clark finally said as she stood and dusted herself off.

“Wait” Lexa found herself yelling, a sudden urge to clarify overtaking her. With a little difficulty, she stood and approached Clark, staring intensely into her eyes. “I was wrong about you Klark.” Lexa swallows heavily at her admission, “your heart shows no sign of weakness”. She had seen more courage, ferocity, and determination from the blond in the last few days then she had ever seen before; and she was filled with an overwhelming urge to make Clark understand that. To believe in herself just as much as she believed in her.

Clark's smile warmed Lexa all the way to her core. Her eyes raked over Clarks face slowly as if absorbing the moment, her fingers itched to pull her in and soothe her worries. Suddenly Clark turned towards the direction where Pauna beats its anger against metal doors, “cage wont hold” she whispers to herself. “I think I know how to take Mount Weather. We’ve been trying to get inside, but they’ve already let us in” she says as she turns her attention back to Lexa.

“What are you talking about?” Lexa asked confused at the sudden change in direction in the conversation. 

Clark shook her head as if clearing her thoughts, “your army is already there. Locked in cages.” Her eyes sparked bright blue as some kind of plan formed in her mind and took hold of her, she stared intently at Lexa, as she waited for the same spark to light behind her green eyes. “We just need someone on the inside to let them out.”

“Bellamy” Lexa understood what Clark was thinking. She set her lips in a firm line as she processes Clarks implication, watching Clark nod in excitement. “You have faith in him?” she asked as she saw no other option but to give in to Clark.

“I do” Clark nodded again, her eyes searching Lexa’s stoic face. 

Lexa thought about this for a moment. There was a relentless passion in Clarks eyes, as she returned Lexa’s acute gaze. After a beat, she conceded “I hope your faith is well placed”, She paused reflecting on the gravity of the situation, “because if he can’t get inside, we can’t win.”

“He will” Clark responded with conviction in her voice as she quickly stomped the fire out. “Lexa, this is going to work” She added, grabbing her good hand and pulling gently, “Come on.” 

She allowed herself to be pulled along by Clark, enjoying the feel of the blonds hand in her own. Lexa watched the sky girl, not understanding the world she came from; but appreciating the tenacity she had seen. She would teach the sky girl, how to survive in her world. More then survive, she would teach her how to lead at her side, Heda and Skaiprisa, leading the 12 coalitions into victory over the mountain and freeing their people.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, it's been a rough week for me and I have not had time to put everything together. I'll be dropping quite a few chapters today, and over the weekend to get caught up.
> 
> I will also be posting a new story, completely AU, it's what I wanted to write before the third season started. I will continue this story through the end of season two, and then will start a new one for season three, which I am about halfway caught up writing! That story will have a mature/explicit, because if the show won't give me Clexa, I will write it myself!
> 
> Reviews are always appreciated :) 
> 
> XO

Looking up from the table at the sound of someone walking through her tent entrance, Lexa’s brow furrowed on reflex at recognizing the sky girl standing awkwardly there. “Klark.” Lexa straightened herself and relaxed her face, waiting to see what had brought the sky girl.

“Hey” Clarke smiled softly, her eyebrows raising slightly at Lexa’s furrowed look. Clarke stared at her in silence, gaging the temperature of the room before continuing, “I was wondering if we could talk?” 

Lexa put down the cup she was holding, and tucked her hands behind her back, “of course, Klark. What can I do for you?” 

“I was wondering if we could talk? About winter?” Clarke asked as she approached the table. 

“What about winter?” Lexa asked, her eyebrow raised as she watched Clarke approach, trying to read the blonds body language. 

“Well,” Clarke’s hand reached for a small rock on the table, rolling it gently in her hand as she avoided Lexa’s gaze. “Between preparing to fight your army, preparing to fight Mount Weather, and generally having the survivors of the Ark crash living in a state of perpetual fear; we haven’t had the chance to collect enough food for winter, I’m concerned about my peoples ability to survive.” 

Lexa couldn’t stop her eyebrow from raising, “I was under the impression from Abi that your people were growing their own food and preparing rations?”

“We are trying, but we have more people then we will have food, and unless we can get outside the fence more often we are not going to have enough meat smoked.” She glanced at Lexa with knit brows, “I’m trying to think of what happens after we get our people back.”

“Your people will be well taken care of, Klark,” Lexa softened her tone slightly, “I thought that much was obvious?”

Clarke nodded, barely paying attention to her words, her eyes slowly scanning her surroundings. She came around the table, picking up Lexa’s cup, smelled its contents and took a small swig, making a face at the taste. “What is this?” 

“Borage leaf tea” Lexa smiled as she watched Clarke drink again.

“Borage?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, watching Lexa with the cup still raised to her lips.

She leaned slightly towards Clarke and glanced around the room, “can you keep a secret?” She watched Clarke shake her head eagerly. Lexa couldn't help her smile at the sky girls eagerness, “It’s a little Commander secret, it aids in dealing with exhaustion. It’s how I manage to function through all these sleepless nights.”

“Ancient grounder secret?” Clarke smirked back, she put the cup down and reclined against the table. 

“Grounder?” Lexa asked, keeping her hands firmly planted on top of the table. 

“Trikru,” Clarke corrected, glancing down, “sorry.” Lexa’s only response was the nearly imperceptible tightening of her jaw. 

After a few moments of silence Lexa glances at Clark, “Is there something else that you needed?” 

Clarke nudged her shoulder against Lexa, pushing her slightly, “hey, I’m sorry. It’s just a name we used to identify your people when we first landed. You know? We never expected to find anyone alive on the ground.”

Lexa nodded a few times, “it’s just the way I have heard your people say it. Like it’s something bad.” 

Clarke scooted herself onto the table and reached for Lexa’s arm, “it’s not.” 

They stared at each other, Lexa relishing the rare connection from Clarke’s grasp. She allowed her eyes to roam over the sky girls features, her light complexion starting to turn into a warm brown from exposure to the sun. Her blue eyes sparkled slightly in the dim light, and she couldn’t help but think that Clarke looked especially radiant right now. Her eyes lingered on her lips until the realization forced her to break eye contact, a blush forming on her cheeks. 

Clarke dropped her hand and immediately, Lexa missed the warm touch. “What did you expect to find?” she asked, breaking the tension that had filled the room. 

“I don’t know,” Clarke sighed as she dropped her hands, “nothing. Everything? Salvation? They didn’t know if we were going to survive. I didn’t know I was going to be sent to the ground until they were strapping me into the ship.” 

“They sent you down to die?” Lexa reached for the pitcher and poured herself another cup of her tea. Needing to do something with her hands lest they decide to roam on their own.

Clarke shook her head, “not to die. The hope was that the radiation had burned off and we could survive. We were a blind shot of hope, tumbled out of the blackness of space.” Clarke smiled at her own prose before continuing, “we would have the rest of the Ark follow us once we landed someplace safe.” 

“Hm..” Lexa glanced at Clarke again, eyes falling on her lips unintentionally, “and instead you landed on us. In the most dangerous space…”

Clarke nudged her again, a small smile playing on her lips, “Right now, I can’t imagine a safer space then right next to you,” she whispered softly. 

Lexa felt her heart stutter slightly at the the blonds words. An unsteady heat pooled and coiled at the base of her stomach and she felt the ground shift once more under her feet. She dropped her gaze desperately searching for something to draw her attention and focus to. I would never let something happen to you, Skaiprisa, she though as Clarke laid her head on her shoulder. “I could teach you,” she nearly whispered the words.

Clarke’s head popped up and she leaned back, searching for green eyes. “Teach me what?”

Lexa leaned back against her shoulder, not meeting her gaze for fear she would notice her unsteady breath, “how to survive. Here.” Glancing up briefly, she continued, “how to lead on the ground.” Her chest constricted oddly at their closeness. Lexa had to focus on keeping her reserved mask on.

Clarke squinted slightly at her, as if testing the weight of her words before nodding once. “I think I would like that.”


	31. Chapter 31

“Are you sure that you must travel back?” Lexa pressed one more time, eyes searching Clarks face for a hint of changing her answer. 

“I’m the only one that’s been inside, Lexa” Clark reiterates for the second time, “I have to be there when Bellamy radio’s in from inside Mount Weather.”

Clarks reasoning made sense, but it still made Lexa uneasy to let her out of her sight. Without Clark, she would be left to deal with Kane, she didn’t trust him enough to make the right choices; not like she was beginning to trust Clark to do. 

“Fine” Lexa gave in with a firm nod, “but you are taking some of my guards with you.” She held her hand up as Clark began to protest, “I cannot have you running around unprotected Clark.” 

With a small scowl, Clark relents, “fine, but I don’t see the point. Our camp is not that far away and its covered with guards, I doubt anyone would mess with us once we get there.” 

“And what protection will there be until until you arrive?” Lexa quickly countered, handing Clark a small canteen for water. 

“I can take care of myself” Clark bit back, a little to quickly. 

Lexa tried not to smile, “I wasn’t talking about protection for you, Klark. I meant for anyone who has the unfortunate coincidence to come across your path”. Clark’s eyes widen slightly before a smile spread across her face, she gently pushed Lexa as she made her way towards the door. “Ouch!” Lexa cried out at the action, pretending to grab her shoulder in pain, her smile matching Clarks as she watched her leave. “Wait!” Lexa called her back, nearly forgetting. 

Clarke turned with an impatient look, still smiling slightly, “I have to go,” she reminded her. 

Lexa inhaled unevenly, digging under a pile of clothes for the item she had hidden there. “I had this made,” she glanced up at Clarke as she pulled it out, “for you.” She held up a shoulder armor guard very similar to hers, expect it was outlined in various shades of blue. 

Clarke stepped forward, gently taking it in her hands, “the colors are beautiful,” she whispered, gently tracing her finger across it. 

Lexa bit her cheek to keep herself from smiling, delighted that Clarke liked the gift. “It represents your status, as my red sash represents mine. I had it made in blue, because you came from the sky.” Lexa suddenly felt incredibly shy as Clarke gazed up at her and smiled widely. “It’s wonderful,” her warm voice was lower then usual. “Can you help me put it on?” 

Lexa bit her lip slightly as she reached forward and gently brushed back her blond hair, buckling the piece in to the front and back of her jacket, shaking it slightly to make sure it was secure. Clarke took a step back, laying her arms out so Lexa could take her in, “how do I look?” she asked coyly. 

Breathtaking, Lexa thought, her eyes soaking in every inch of Clarke’s body freely, “like a leader,” she whispered with a firm nod. 

Clarke beamed back, “thank you, Lexa,” she repeated as she turned and left. 

Lexa allowed herself to settle into a comfortable feeling of happiness as it enveloped her at the blonds playful banter, before stepping out a few minutes later. As she steps out, she sees Clark explaining to her mother one more time how to handle the horse that she had been given to ride. Abbey nodded a few times, before surprising everyone around her by quickly climbing into the saddle and taking the reigns in her hands. “What?” she says to the shocked faces staring back at her, “I watched a lot of westerns growing up. I know a thing or two about horses.” 

Lexa shakes her head slightly, turning her attention to her warriors. “Do not take your eyes off of them, stay at her side and follow her orders. Am I understood?” she waits for them to nod their understanding, “her orders are to be followed as if they were my own,” she reiterates. 

They mount up, and turn to leave, Clark looking back only once at Lexa, a look of determination on her face. She watches them leave, arm resting on the hilt of her swords it was still a little tender. Indra approaches her with Octavia not far behind, standing next to her as they watch Clark and company leave through the gates. 

“You think it is wise to let her leave the safety of TonDC?” Indra questions quietly, her eyes never leaving the group leaving. 

“We have no choice” Lexa explains, “the only way she can communicate with Bellamy is to go back to her people. We need to know when he has disabled the fog, in order to move forward.” 

Indra turns to Lexa, “do you trust her to get there safely?” 

Lexa bites the inside of her cheek, not appreciating the vocalization of her own concerns. She lets out a heavy sigh as the only answer to Indra’s question. 

“Why don’t we follow behind?” Octavia pipes in from behind. 

Lexa and Indra turn to face her, she had forgotten that the sky girl was there. “You have taken a new second?” she asks, ignoring Octavia’s question. 

Indra nods once, glaring at Octavia before responding, “she has much to learn about her place here.” Octavia blushes slightly behind her black war paint, and Lexa has to work to keep her stoic mask on in front of her, she was quite used to Indra’s teasing; but Octavia still had a lot to learn about her new mentor. 

“You should, perhaps, have her burn some of that energy” Lexa suggests, turning to face Indra, “have her patrol the Trikru woods?” 

Indra raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, “yes, perhaps she does need to burn some energy.” Indra turns to eye Octavia up and down, “it doesn't appear that her training is tiring her out.” 

Octavia turns from Lexa to Indra and back again, “I’m ok. I don’t need to be taken for a walk” she responds quickly, turning from one to the other. 

“Come, Oktavia” Indra ignores her and turns toward the villages entrance, “you have the energy to talk, you have the energy to walk.” she says as she walked away from Lexa, leaving Octavia bewildered behind her.

“Really?” Octavia mutters to herself, “We just got back!” She turns and nods at Lexa, awkwardly bowing slightly as she runs after Indra, “are we really going for a walk?”   
_________

Lexa watches as an attendant pours another bucket of hot water into the basin, preparing a steaming bath. She needed to unwind, let her muscles relax after so many days of pushing herself hard. As the basin filled, she began to slowly unclip the various pieces of armor from her body, releasing the weight from her grateful shoulders and waist. 

A sudden knock at her door draws her attention. Hoping its her dinner, she nods at the attendant to go and get the door, turning her attention back to begin taking her boots off. 

“Heda” a warrior pushes past the bewildered attendant, “I have an important message!” 

Lexa stands upright quickly and glares at the intrusion, “what is it?” she growls out, irritated that her bath is being disturbed. She suddenly realized that it was one of the guards that she had sent with Clark, a small flicker of concern crossed her face before her stoic mask covered it. 

“A sniper from the Mounon attacked us” he wrung his hands slightly, afraid of what his commander would do to him for delivering bad news. 

“Where is Clark?” Lexa demands, taking a few steps towards him, “what happened?”

He pulled something out from his chest pocket and handed it to Lexa, who immediately recognized it for what it was, “they are targeting both of you. Clark is safe, Indra is escorting her to her village” he paused for a moment. 

Lexa growled slightly at the news that Clark was not returning here right away, “And?” she pressed, looking up from the photograph. 

“There were two, Indra killed one and they have taken the other man back to their village” he continued.

Lexa dropped her eyes and stared at nothing in particular as her mind churned with possibilities, she has one of their warriors for what purpose? she thought, playing various options through her mind before realizing that there was nothing that she could do with any of the information she was given. 

“Send out extra scouts into the woods, the Mounon is growing braver, they know who we are now and will no doubt try again.” She snaps her eyes up to meet the warrior, “go back to her village, do not leave her side. If a single hair on her head is touched, I will make sure that your death is incredibly unpleasant.” She paused letting the information sink in, “am I clear?” she pressed, waiting for him to respond. 

“Ja, Heda” he nods quickly, backing out of her room. 

Lexa let out a deep sigh as she glanced down at the picture again. Woefully, she finished undressing and sinked slowly into the hot water, knowing that there was going to be nothing relaxing about this bath.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really really struggled with this chapter. I just couldn't wrestle it together quite the way that I wanted, and as much as I added and cut things out, I knew it was holding me back from the rest of the story. 
> 
> Ultimately I decided to cut out an entire section in the beginning and end. I hope that it doesn't kill to much of the tone and pace of where this is going, but if I stare at this chapter any longer I might just chuck my laptop out of frustration. If it sucks, I'm sorry. If it doesn't, then I'm equally sorry that I held it back this long. 
> 
> Expect a chapter almost every day from here going forward! 
> 
> XO

Staring blankly at the massive amount of useless information that was spread out on the table, Lexa rubbed her exhausted eyes. A dull headache had permanently wormed its way through her, and no manner of herbal remedy would pull it out. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept well, and it gave everything an extra edge of bitterness and impatience. 

To make matters worse, she couldn’t get Clark out of her head, having heard no news since the sniper attempt and the target on them became a reality. She felt stifled by the lack of information from the sky camp. She wanted nothing more then to march to the sky camp and drag Clark into her protective custody. The idea toyed in her mind, and for brief crazy moments it seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. In reality, it was not something that Clark would appreciate and would probably fight against, winning her no favors with the stubborn blond. So instead she glumly stared at a table full of information without any ability to move on it. 

She was just not used to having to wait. Nothing was more frustrating then having the largest army in generations at her fingertips, and having to wait for some boy to give some signal through magic waves of radio, or whatever it was that they were waiting on. It wasn’t that she didn't believe in Clark, quite the opposite, it was just that she preferred to lay her trust in things that made sense to her. The Sky people’s technology was foreign and quite frankly unnecessarily complex. They seemed adamant that it made them better, more efficient; but their technology will not feed them once the snow falls, or provide consolation in the aftermath of a battle.

Lexa rubbed the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. What ever happened to the good old days of where everyone followed the rules of war, she mused to herself as she sighed, where clear victors stood at the end of a battle field and there was no question what the next step would be. She would have to present their plan of action in a few hours to her generals, would have to explain why trusting the Skaïkru was the most logical decision they could make, would have to somehow justify her faith in one boy to a group of warriors that trusted no one but their own kind. Somehow, without the Skaiprisa’s presence next to her, it felt like an insurmountable premise. 

“Heda.” A guard at the entrance of her tent stepped in. She looked up, waiting for him to continue, “Indra has returned.”

“Send her in immediately,” she hardly had a chance to finish before Indra stormed in, Octavia close behind her. 

“Heda, I have news”. Finally! Lexa bites back the thought, giving Indra the room she needs to continue. “I have returned with Markus, he wishes to speak with you. Klark has sent the sniper back to the Monoun with a message to be delivered…”

The sound of a scuffle and protest at the tent entrance draws their attention as Atohl is roughly pushed into the room. “What is he doing here?” Lexa demands as Indra crosses the space to put herself between him and Lexa. 

“I found him trying to listen” her guard informs, roughly pushing him forward into the space. 

Lexa crosses her arms, and can’t help the slight lift of her eyebrow at the news, “hear anything interesting?” 

Pulling his arm out of the guards grasp, Atohl sniffs the air, “I was not spying for the queen!” 

Biting back the smirk, Lexa focused on keeping her face expressionless, “no one accused you, Athol. Guilty conscience perhaps?”

A brief flash of confusion crossed his face before he settled his features into a scowl, “when will the council be meeting? I wish to attend.” 

Indra growled low at his demand, but froze when Lexa put her hand up. “Perhaps your expertise would be better used in protecting the perimeter, Atohl. You seem to have a special gift for remaining unseen.” A snicker from Octavia broke the brief silence, “I have decided to have seconds show their loyalty and leadership capability by having them guard the wall. Your shift will be starting now.”

“I am a representative of the queen…” Atohl stepped forward to protest, stopping the moment Indra’s blade met his throat. 

“You have received orders from your Heda,” Indra growled at him, “it is best that you be on your way.” Swallowing thickly, he nodded once and exited the tent with a rough push from her guard. 

“He cannot be left alone,” Lexa stated to Indra, watched as she slowly nodded her agreement. “Who would you trust enough to watch his movements?” 

After a brief moment, both their eyes turned towards Octavia, who had managed to melt into the corner of the tent. “Hi” she smiled awkwardly, giving them both a small wave. She edged onto the balls of her feet, glancing between the two of them. “Ok — so…I guess I’m going on guard duty?” 

“It would appear so”, Indra responded curtly. “I will send in Markus”, nodding once Lexa watched her walk out of the tent with Octavia hot on her heels. 

An exasperated huff left her body as soon as she was alone again. Markus? Why is he here instead of Klark? she questioned, feeling the prick of concern growing at the news. That concern washed over her quickly, overtook her for a brief moment as the need to see Clark, alive and well, overwhelmed her. Just as quickly as it had appeared, anger washed away concern. Anger at Clark for delaying her arrival, as if she had nothing better to do but wait for the Skaiprisa to grace her with her presence. More pressing was the anger at herself for allowing her emotions at the sky girls presence to get the better end of her. How many more opportunities must I give these people, she fumed, how dare she make me wait! Shaking her head, she inhaled slowly, trying to refocus her attention to the task laid out before her on the table: finding another way besides placing all hope at the feet of Bellamy to get them inside the mountain. 

A few moments later, Marcus is at her tent entrance, smiling broadly as he greeted her, “Commander.” 

Lexa frowned at his entrance, the nagging realization returned that it was him who returned from the sky camp and not Clark. “I was expecting Klark to join us for the coalition meeting.”

Kane scratched the back of his head absentmindedly, “there was a complication. I was sent to represent in her place.”

“A complication?” Lexa repeated, incredulous at the sky girls gall. “Something more important then going into battle with the Mountain? Freeing your people? Representing her plan in front of the council?” She demanded, feeling her anger spiking slightly. “Our truce hangs in the balance of a dull blade and she has found something more important to occupy her time?” 

Kane blushed slightly, trying to avoid her gaze as he searched for a better answer to offer her, “it had something to do with our people inside Mount Weather. She will be here as soon as that has been dealt with.”

Lexa hastily swallowed her response, knowing full well she would have done the same had the situation been reversed. She dropped her eyes to the table, taking another calming breath before continuing. “The council is impatient. They want to move forward, push to attack the mountain and free our people. I cannot continue to delay them for very much longer.” 

“Of course,” Kane nods, “I believe that Bellamy made it inside with Lincoln’s help, its just a matter of time before the acid fog is disabled and we can move forward.” 

“I had planned on discussing this with Klark upon her return but seeing as she is not here, I assume you can make some decision in her place.” Kane nodded, “I want to re-approach the idea of disabling their defenses further. This dam,” pulling from the pile of documents on the table, she shows Kane the location on the map where it was located. “is potentially outside of the acid fog. I propose we work on disabling their power from inside the structure while we wait for Bellamy.” 

Kane nodded, staring down at the map, “we would have to check out their security, they wouldn't leave something so important unprotected.” 

Lexa smiled slowly, “leave that to me. My people can deal with whatever threat they might have. I need to know if you have the technology or the capability to destroy whatever it does that gives them power.”

Kane glanced up, meeting her eyes, “I know just the person.” 

Lexa narrowed her eyes, “How is it going?” 

Kane grimaced slightly at the question, “it’s—we are still trying to find the best equilibrium.” 

What a political answer, Lexa thought as she stared blankly back. “It will take time, we must not lose sight of our ultimate goal.” Lexa offered with a slight shrug. 

“What is your goal, Commander?” He asked, his jaw tightening slightly, as if bracing for the repudiation of his question. 

Lexa leveled him under her steady gaze, “to get my people out of that mountain, alive.” 

“And after?” he asked, almost casually.

“What is that you want to know, Markus of the Sky People?” she was to tired to play into whatever game he was playing. 

“What happens to our people after the war in the mountain? Where will the coalition stand? The truce? What happens to our people when winter arrives?” His questions came out in rapid fire succession, his eyes widening at each one. 

Lexa held her hand up, needing him to stop compounding her headache, “as I have already told Klark, your people will be allowed to stay on their land, we will help you through your first winter if that is what you wish. If you can do as you say, get our people out from the mountain and help us extinguish that threat, there is no doubt in my mind that we can find a place for you among the Trikru and my coalition.” 

Kane smiled broadly at her response, “I know we can help each other, Commander. If we can just trust each other to…”

Lexa shook her head, “Markus, let’s just focus on one thing at a time.” She rounded the table, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as she guided him towards the tent exit, “you will present Klark’s mission to the council, standing in as representative of the Skaïkru.” Kane nodded as she continued, “we can discuss the future, after.” 

She offered a forced smile as she coaxed him out the door, waiting until he was safely on the other side before releasing a frustrated growl into empty space. She didn’t have the energy to sooth Kane’s need for optimism and promise right now. She stood at the foot of her bed, staring longingly at its promised warmth, before begrudgingly turning back to her table and getting back to work.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are at episode 12 - Rubicon

“She’s here” Indra called out to her, walking up to her quickly. 

Lexa ground her teeth reflexively, about fucking time, she thought working hard to quell her anger. She walked toward the center of town, watching as Clark approached, blond hair flying and a stern expression fixed on her face as Octavia nipped at her feet. 

“Klark, of the Skai People has honored us with her presence,” she states flatly, her stoic reserve on full display despite the urge to lower a glare at the blond. Her intuition suddenly kicking in as she watches her approach. Something is off, her breath is staggered and she has a strange gleam in her eye, Lexa thinks as she studied her. She couldn't help the nervous twitch of her finger as the same energy radiates off of Clark and bombards her. Something is definitely off, she thinks before trying to push the thought aside, she needed to reserve her thoughts for the riotous anger she had felt at Clarks late arrival.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Commander” Clark quickly responds, not even bothering to defend herself. 

“You made good time” Marcus quirked up from behind her, “I assume the kids in Mount Weather are ok.” His voice light as he moved next to Lexa. 

“For now” Clark edged out, her breath hitched slightly as she turned her attention to Lexa, “can we talk in private?”

“Yes…” Lexa eyed her suspiciously, “this way” she extended her arm out waiting for Clark to lead the way towards her command center. 

They barely passed through the building entrance before Clark turned around grabbing Lexa by the arm, pulling her to the other end of the room as far from the door as possible. “Are you ok, Klark? What happened to you?” Lexa asked as she was dragged along, concern quickly overtaking any residual anger she had left.

Clark grasped her arm tighter before turning around, “we have to evacuate the village.” 

Confused, Lexa pulled her arm out of her grasp, “what are you talking about, Klark?” she crossed her arms, watched as the blond began to pace. “You are perfectly safe behind these walls, I would never let anything happen to you, no-one would dare…”

Clark laughed abruptly, desperate, her hands wrung slightly as she continued to pace, “I highly doubt these walls can stop what’s about to happen.” 

Lexa reached out and grabbed the sky girls shoulders, attempting to hold her in place as she searched for her eyes. “What are you talking about, Klark?”

“Bellamy got into Mount Weather,” she answered hurriedly

Lexa felt confused at the girls state, “that’s good, that’s what we wanted…”

She held her hand up, stopping Lexa, “he got into their duct system or something and I could hear them talking, planning their attack. I could hear them.” Lexa raised her eyebrows, surprised to have usable information so quickly, but Clark put her finger up again stopping her from responding. “They are going to send a missile. Here. To TonDC.”

Lexa’s mind reeled at the information. She felt the room spin as she tried to process Clark’s words. A missile?! Her mind raced to the level of devastation she had heard missiles were capable of, her mind reeled to the crater she had seen as a child. If what she was saying was true, a lot of lives were about to be lost. “A missile. You’re sure?” She tested her voice, she hoped they had a different understanding of what the word missile meant. 

“Yes,” Clark confirmed, “we have to start evacuating now.” 

She felt the wind knocked out of her, of course not, she grimaced internally. She couldn't be lucky enough for the word missile to have changed so dramatically between their cultures. She quickly ran through her options, evacuation would give their only hand away. “No,” Lexa’s blood chilled her, she swallowed heavily, knowing she had no choice but to sacrifice herself and her people. She held herself firm, tall, knowing that there was no other choice if they wanted to take down the mountain. At the very least, I can save Klark, she gritted her teeth as she searched the blonds eyes. 

Clark stared at her baffled, stumbling for a response, “what do you mean ‘no’, Lexa?”

Lexa forced a calmed breath, she tried to coerce her body to slow down, for her mind to stop reeling at possibilities and focus on facts and the things she could control. “If we evacuate they’ll know we have a spy inside their walls.” She blinked rapidly, trying to get the image of the devastation that was about to hit out of her mind, they didn’t have much time to act on this news. 

“Not necessarily,” Clark countered, her breath coming in sharply.

Lexa shook her head, she needed to think ahead of the mountain, they could use this to their advantage. How many people? she quickly tried to think through the numbers in her mind, 200? 300? Oh Goddess, the children, Her mind reeled at the thought. She wouldn’t let a single sacrifice go to waste. “We can’t risk it,” Lexa answered with finality. She had placed all her trust into Clark and her plan, it can’t fall apart now, not when they were so close. 

The blond looked like she was ready to explode, “what’s the point of having an inside man if we can’t act on what he tells us?”

She shook her head firmly and dug her heels in, “is the acid fog disabled? Is our sleeping army uncaged?” Clark shook her head, “then Bellamy’s job is not done. Without him, we can’t win this war.”

“So what are you saying?” Clark asked, panic filled the harsh edges of her voice, “we just do nothing? Let them bomb us?”

Lexa’s mind went into overdrive, she needed to get them out of here fast. She had no idea how long they had until the missile would destroy everything in its path, them included. More importantly, she needed to get Clark as far away from danger as possible. If she could not be the one to carry them through the war against the mountain, she trusted no one else to lead her people to victory. It had to be the Skaiprisa. “It’ll be a blow, but our army will be safe inside the woods.” She stared hard at Clark, “it will inspire them.” 

“And what about us?” Clark weakly pleaded, her resolve breaking.

“We slip away.” Lexa turned, looking for something to cover their exit. She needed to be sure that no one noticed either of them slipping away or else the mountain would not stop attacking the village. Especially now that she knew that they had images of them. “Right now,” she grabbed two cloaks that should cover the blonds hair and give her just enough coverage to escape into the woods, “put this on.”

“Lexa, wait you don't understand,” Clark pulled back, her steps faltered, “I provoked Mount Weather. I sent a message to distract them from Bellamy.” 

Fighting the urge to drag her out of the building, Lexa turned back and surveyed the blond. There was fear, real fear on her face, along with something else that she couldn’t quite place. Remorse, Lexa realized as softened her tone slightly, still holding it as a firm light for both of them to follow. “Klark, sometimes you need to concede a battle to win a war.” She needed someone else to understand and believe that this was the right thing to do.

“No,” Clark pushed back, “we can inform the leaders of the clans. Pick a rendezvous point in the woods. Each of us slip out separately.” 

Lexa shook her head, this was going nowhere and they were running out of precious time, “and how many more will they tell? Where do we draw the line?”

“Well then cancel the meeting! Start a fire! Something” Clark begged, near tears.

“Klark, we don't have time for this,” She pulled her towards the stairs, the sky girls panic was contagious and she was beginning to doubt her own decision. 

“No, no, this is wrong,” she pulled her arm back, stopping in the middle of the room. 

Exasperated, Lexa pushed one more time, “it’s also our only choice, and you know it. You could have warned everything out there. But you didn’t.” She saw a flicker of acknowledgment flash across the blonds face, “you said nothing, not even to your own people. This is war Klark, people die you showed true strength today.” She hardly recognized her voice, nearly pleading with her to follow, “don't let emotion stop you now. Its time to go.”

She turned and left, walking down the stairs with pure adrenaline coursing through her. She couldn’t hear whether or not Clarke was behind her, she could only hear her blood pumping through her, forcing her to keep moving forward. At the end of the tunnel she stopped, holding tightly to the edge for support. She didn’t want to turn around, but the urge to go back for Clark, to pull her out was hard to ignore. 

She felt something grab her elbow and pull her along, it took her a full moment to realize it was Clarke, dragging her along, keeping the two of them moving forward.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments, and Kudo's make my heart skip a beat each and every time.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> XO

They headed toward the outskirts of TonDC, moving quickly through the shadows. Lexa’s mind worked through every possible scenario it could think of, desperate to try to come up with a better solution; something more actionable then letting more people perish at the hands of the mountain. She needed to be strong, she needed to make the hard choices for her people. She knew that, and yet her legs felt weak and her stomach churned with the reality of her decision. Soon hundreds of her people would be dead, and the village she grew up in would be leveled to the ground. A crater would be all that would be left of it.

“Klark, we have to keep moving” Lexa paused briefly turning to pull Clark along, “We’re not far enough away.” Clark continues to look back, hesitating despite the danger they are in, “The last time they used a missile, it was before I was born. According to legend, it left a hole in the woods you could not see across. Now lets go” she pressed firmly.

Clark glanced at her, before glancing back again, “What if we made them miss?”

“You’re not listening” Lexa hissed, “with a weapon like that, you can't miss.”

“Yes, you can.” Clark countered her “I heard them talking about a spotter. Someone in the field to aim the missile. If we could just find him…” Suddenly Clark stops talking, her gaze shifted behind Lexa at some activity happening through the trees. “No.” she whispered quietly, color leaving the blonds face. Lexa turned her gaze towards the village, trying to understand what has caught Clark’s attention. “What’s she doing here?” 

“Klark” Lexa whispered, recognizing the girls mother making her way through the village. Lexa instinctively reached out to try and stop her from returning to the village, “you can’t go back!” She watches in disbelief as Clark turned and ran back toward the village. “Klark!” she called after her, wanting to tackle her and drag her away from the danger. Fuckfuckfuckfuck, she screamed in her mind as the blond escaped from her grasp.

She watched Clarke through the woods grab her mother and try to pull her along. Come on Klark, she thinks as she bites her lip, this is taking to long why aren't they leaving? Finally, she sees Clarke pull her mother out into the path, moving forward to meet them and drag them both to safety. She doesn't make more then a few steps forward before seeing a flash of light filter through the woods behind her, looking up she sees fire reign down from the sky in a flash. 

She’s flying. No, not flying, falling. Then slamming into some trees as the wind blows fiercely around her. She can’t move, can’t breath, can’t think. Her legs refuse to stop wobbling below her and her hearing has been replaced by a low whine that she can’t exactly place. Shaking her head, she tries to force the disorientation out of her body. Get up, she tells herself, get up and find Clark! The action of shaking her head caused her stomach to convulse, forcing her to grit her teeth to fight back the impulse to vomit. Move! she commanded herself, fear seeping in at her inability to coordinate her body. What have I done? Where’s Clark? We weren’t far enough away, the questions repeated themselves, berating her for not protecting herself and Clark better. 

Slowly, the sound started to filter back, and the feeling of nausea dissipated. She tested her legs again, and finally found them firm enough to stand on. She recognized the heat first, blistering hot, but it didn't make sense. It should be cold out, the thought filters itself through her, barely breaking the consistent thoughts of her failure at protecting her people. She shifted her gaze towards the source of the heat and realized that TonDC was on fire. 

Sound came back like a roaring wave, disorienting her. The sounds of her people overwhelmed her, wails of pain and anguish filled the air mixed with the distinct sound of fear. Confusion reigned in the village as people tried to comprehend what had just happened, the sounds expanding as people came to their senses. Look what you’ve done, Lexa inhaled the thought, inhaled her failure at protecting her people. She struggled to think beyond the moment in front of her, to focus on the reality that was surrounding her. The smell of smoke and death filled the air and for the first time since the ball of fire screamed through the sky, Lexa realized that there was nothing left of her beloved home. 

Something shifted in the darkness of the woods, a flash of blond and Lexa feels her heart constrict at the possibility that Clark was still alive. She watched as Clark stood slowly in a daze and began to walk aimlessly. Her mind shifted gears as she recognized her, the steady drum of failure replaced with a new prayer, let her be ok, let her be hurt, repeating over and over again. 

“Klark!” she tried to call, but her throat was on fire, to dry to produce a sound. She swallowed nothing a few times, before getting enough saliva together to wet her throat. She tried her voice again, “Klark!” She moved forward on unsteady legs, every inch of her focused on grabbing Clark and pulling her as far away from here as possible. She felt as if the air itself was thick, pushing against her to stop her from grabbing hold of the blond. She finally reached her, grabbed her, pulling her out of her daze and forcing blue eyes to focus on her. 

“I could have warned them. I could have saved them,” Clark whispered, her eyes unfocused again as she returned to whatever daze she had been yanked from. 

Lexa’s survival instinct finally kicked in, and she pulled harshly at the blond to force her to come back to her senses, “if they see us, they’ll strike again.” She pulled her closer, needing Clarke to understand, to come back to her. She needed to see that spark in her eyes, nothing in this world makes sense if that spark is gone, Lexa thought as she grappled with the urge to pull Clark in and hold her tight. “Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. You know that..”

“I want the mountain men dead.” Clarke cut her off, the spark flickered for a brief moment, disappearing just as quickly as it had appeared. “All of them.”

Lexa could only nod in agreement before turning, pulling her along the path away from the fire and wreckage, anything to get her to safety, she thought, anything to protect her. 

Suddenly Clark ran ahead of her, moving quickly along the path. Lexa watched as the hooded blond ran for a bluff that overlooked the largest part of TonDC. She felt herself lag behind, part of her did not want to see the damage that the missile had caused. She didn’t want to make it real. The ludicrous thought that if she somehow did not see the damage that had occurred, it wouldn’t make be real. 

She raised her arm to lean against a tree, breathing carefully through her nose and out her mouth in order to slow her body and mind down. She just needed to keep the panic at bay long enough to get her and Clark out of here to a safer place, before they could attend to the needs of the village. She just needed to keep herself together long enough to keep them both safe. 

She just needed a moment. 

To think. To refocus. To understand. 

How the hell did this happen?! she tried to swallow the bile that seemed to creep up in her throat again, but failed, leaning over and throwing up into the brush next to her. Her heart raced and a sheen of sweat found its way to her brow as she tried to get her breathing under control again. 

She spit any remaining fluid from her mouth and rubbed her hand across her face. I need to keep us moving, Lexa thought as she refocused herself. The mountain could have another missile ready, they could be preparing to launch a secondary attack. Or worse, they could have more men in the woods with guns at the ready. 

She continued up the path and found Clark, staring at the village below. She paused, still trying to catch her breath as she debated what she should do. She could look, get an idea of the damage and use that information to create a plan to move forward. However, the mental cost of that knowledge could potentially be to much, it could break her. 

Lexa chanced a look, and immediately regretted it. Yellow fire was lit in sporadic places across the space, grey ash seemed to be highlighted by the flames giving the metal and wood an odd silver coating. A huge crater now sat where the town center had been, any home or business that had been there was now destroyed, swallowed up as if it had never existed in the first place. 

Worse were the moans and cries of pain from her people. Worse yet were the bodies. 

Everywhere, there were bodies. 

She closed her eyes, tried to blink the image away. She couldn’t look anymore, the image would forever be seeded into her memory anyway. “Lets go.” She whispered to Clark, trying to spur both of them to action, “we must remain hidden. The mountain men must believe their weapon worked” She could feel the panic starting to rise again, but she had to maintain focus and keep Clark out of danger. Without Clark, each and every life that was sacrificed would have been done in vain. 

“It did” Clark whispered, pain etched in her voice. 

“No.” Lexa fought to control her voice, struggled to maintain a flat cadence, “we are still here.” She needed to believe this, she needed to believe that they made the right decision. She needed to know that Clark, above anyone else, was still with her. “Come on Klark, there is no turning back now.” She urged her on, gently turning her away from the loss below them. 

They needed to keep moving, for both their sake.


	35. Chapter 35

They moved sluggishly through the woods, both keeping quiet as they struggled to stay quiet while picking up their pace. Lexa felt like her feet were far to heavy, as if she was dragging them through mud or sand. In reality, she was carrying the burden of each and every life that had met its end at the hands of the Mountain, at her hands as well.   
As Commander, she would carry each death with her, chained to the souls that she couldn’t save, because of her decisions. Who could possibly understand what that felt like? What it felt to own each choice, to tie a life around every moment, because everything she did was life or death. She walked with the weariness that it would always be life or death, and just once, she wished that she had the real option to choose life. 

Suddenly a shot is fired from somewhere in the distance, the sound reverberating through the trees and echoing through her body. 

“The spotter. He aimed the missile.” Clark’s voice took a dangerous low turn, her jaw set into a small grind as her eyes darted around the trees, “he’s alone.”

He might be alone and he might not, the thought flashed through her mind briefly as Clarke took off towards the sound, “Klark, just slow down!” She needed to think, needed to process, not go running off into an even bigger danger. “If he’s a spotter, he’s here to make sure we are dead. If he tells the mountain we are alive…”

Clark cut her off, “he won’t”

“How can you be sure?” Lexa hissed back. 

“Because I’m going to kill him,” she responded, staring at Lexa, willing her to counter or argue against her.

Lexa could only watch in stunned silence as Clark turned to run again. The spark was back in those fierce blue eyes. Lexa couldn’t help the threat of a smile that graced her lips despite the chaos and loss around them, we’re going to be ok, she thinks to herself, we’re going to make it. 

She followed in silence, giving Clark just enough room to move ahead of her, but still keeping her within protective reach. Every few moments they would wait for the gunfire to help guide their way. She took the time to think, to process what had happened, and formulate a plan. I need to convince Clark to move away from the shooter, find some place safe until I can deal with the threat myself, she thought as she watched the blond moving through the trees. A decision made, now she needed to get Clark to pull back and get on board. “It’ll be light soon,” she reminded her, “we won’t have the darkness to hide us.”

“Neither will he,” She retorted, not stopping her pace. 

“I feel your anger Klark,” Lexa acknowledged, hoping to reason with the sky girl. 

Clark huffed to a stop “do me a favor, no more lessons.”

“We need to focus,” Lexa needed her to calm down, she didn’t want Clark to go through with this. A huge part of her feared what would happen to the sky girl if she gave into the darkness of revenge, would that light extinguish? “We do what we must to survive, the enemy does the same. Its not personal.” Someday it might be you or me having to make the same decision, she thought bleakly, one of us might have to destroy the lives of innocents in order to save our own people. 

“It is to me,” Clarks voice low and menacing broke her out of her thoughts, and sent a small shiver down Lexa’s back. 

“You think that killing the shooter will make you feel better, but it won’t.” Lexa reminded the blond, she knew all to well the cycle of violence that her people have been living through, she wanted more for Clark, the only way to end the pain was to bring their people home, and to stop the mountain in its tracks. “The only thing that will is winning this war.” 

“Thats enough.” Clark bit back, her blue eyes scanned the brush ahead of them, searching for something. Lexa followed her line of sight, faintly hearing some rustling in the leaves ahead of them. Her senses on high alert, she could hear someone running just out of sight. Instinctively she grabbed her sword, ready to protect them both from whatever unseen creature was approaching them. Something about its movement was different and it piqued her interest as her mind tried to recognize what was unique about the pattern. Whoever it was, knew how to move through the tree line, running in an odd pattern in order to avoid getting shot or seen. Clever, Lexa thought as she worked to anticipate its movement.

Clark slowly lifted her gun up and took aim into the brush. “Is it him?” she asked, trying to see through the foliage. 

A moment passed before Clark’s disappointed voice answered, “No. Lincoln.”

“Klark?” Lincoln stepped out of the forest, confusion on his face when they both step out slowly onto the path with him. A feeling of relief flushed through her at the sight of Lincoln unharmed. Together they could easily take out whatever the mountain men had left behind to destroy her people. Perhaps now she could convince Clark to stay out of harms way and let them handle the threat. “Commander, wha…Octavia said you were…”

Clark cut him off, “you’ve seen Octavia?”

Lincoln hedged slightly, confusion still on his face as he eyed her and Clark, “yeah. A few that survived the explosion are being pinned down by a sniper.” He looked behind him before adding, “its why I'm here.” 

As if in response, another gunshot echoed through the forest. “Come on. We need to get to the high ground.” Lexa needed to keep them moving to avoid becoming targets themselves, she took off after the sound, knowing that the only way they were going to be able to do this without either of them getting hurt is to get up and above the shooter.

They trekked through the woods as night faded into day, slowly making their way up the mountain. Lincoln, ever the protector lead the way while she and Clark followed closely behind. She knew the area they were in, it was higher then where she and Nyko had sat and talked not more then a few days ago; she knew that it would normally offer her a beautiful view of TonDC and the surrounding woods. 

Or at least it would have. She tried to her best to avoid looking back at the death and destruction that she knew would await her when the climbed down. She tried to ignore the persistent smell of smoke from the burning of building, forest, and people. 

Her people. 

She had sacrificed lives so that generations of her people could finally have peace. A never ending daunting task that she was not certain could ever actually be achieved in her lifetime. Still, she fought every day to set the parameters that would allow the next Heda to be successful. Succeed where she was failing now. 

She owed it to them, to those whose lives had just been lost, to those who disappeared into the night into the mountains clutches, and to those who come after her to accomplish what she could never do. She needed to continue fighting despite the feeling of uselessness that has threatened to overcome her ever since people reigned down from the sky. 

Falling behind from the other two, she chanced a look behind her and saw a mountain of smoke and fire burning where TonDC once stood. Would there be anything left of the streets she had grown up in? The colorful homes full of families, of laughter, of hope and strength?

The children, the thought shocked her system as the flood of faces flashes before her. She grit her teeth and squared her shoulders, not one more life will be wasted because of the mountain. If she couldn’t make sure that another life was lost, then she would make sure that each and every soul that died on her watch would not be wasted. 

She turned away, quickly catching up with the other two as the exited the woods and found themselves exposed. The realization panicked her, they had still not identified where or how many shooters were there. She couldn’t keep Clark safe if the blond insisted on continuously running head first into danger. 

Another shot rang out, and Lexa can finally pinpoint the area its coming from, the move in unison towards the area when suddenly Lincoln is shot in the arm. She grabs Clark and pulls her behind a boulder, “so much for the element of surprise,” she states dryly as she looks at his arm. Just a graze, she realizes as they turn their attention to the shots being fired.

“I’ll draw his fire,” Lincoln offers, prepared to move.

“No,” Clark hissed back, “I will.” She levels her gun and shoots at the spot where the sniper is hiding. 

Lexa turns to Lincoln, swallowing the thought that Clark had lost her mind, before nodding once, giving him permission to take off. The gun fire suddenly comes to a stop as Clark ducks back behind the boulder, fire raging in her eyes. 

Above them, they hear the unmistakable sound of Lincoln’s attack, Lexa runs towards the brush to aid him in taking the sniper out, Clark at her side. 

They move as quick as they can, trying to stay out of the snipers line of sight in case there is another one protecting him, reaching them just as Lincoln pulls his knife out, about to stab him when the sniper pulled device out. The device emits a high pitched sound and Lincoln drops his knife to cover his ears, crying out in agony at the noise.

Clark slowly moved from the brush, Lexa flanked her side ready to protect her, when suddenly he grabs Lincoln from behind, his own knife now turned to his throat. She stops moving forward, her hand slowly moving towards her dagger, not wanting to risk a quick movement that would cause him to slash Lincoln’s throat. 

“Drop your weapon,” he demands, his eyes wide with fear as he darts them between Clark and herself. She searches for a clean shot, a place to land her dagger that would kill him without harming Lincoln, but could find none. 

Lincoln’s eyes darted between them as he realized that neither Lexa nor Clark had a clean shot, “just let him kill me. Then take him out. Klark! Please.” he begged, noticing her hesitation, “your people need you!”

“You are my people,” Clark husked, the edge of her voice trimmed with a barely controlled rage. Lexa’s mind faltered as she stood helpless, watching everything play out as if she wasn’t part of the action, she felt she watching Clark from a far, and couldn’t move herself fast enough to stop the blond from acting.. Clark’s shoulders tensed as the gun goes off, and Lexa’s shout is caught in her throat as she watched the sniper’s eyes bulge in surprise before he slowly slumped to the ground. Relief washed through her as her mind accepted the realization that Lincoln was still in fact alive, Clark had shot the sniper through Lincoln’s shoulder.

Lincoln stumbled slightly, surprised to be alive, he grabbed at his wound, wincing in pain, “good shot.” He grimaced slightly as he stared wide eyed at Clark. 

Impeccable shot, Lexa thought, as she stared at the crumbled body at Lincoln’s feet, but why did it have to be Klark, she thought as she glanced at the immobile woman, gun still gripped tight in her hand. In that moment, she would have willingly traded places with Clark, would have shot the sniper herself if she could have, in order to save the sky girl the blood thirst and grief that she knew must be swirling through her mind. She didn’t want this, didn’t want this for Clark. As relieved as she was that the sniper was no longer a factor, irrevocable desire to protect Clark smothered any sense of happiness should could have felt. It should have been her taking that life, should have been her protecting her people, how many more times would she fail to make the right decision and save her people’s lives?

She glanced at Clark again, who stood with her arm still raised, looking slightly confused at the action she had taken. Lexa took a tentative step forward, moving slowly, not wanting to startle the blond who appeared to be frozen in place. She studied the blond, wanting to find the right phrase or statement to make her feel better, to make all of this disappear for Clarks sake. Her mind was blank, every comforting word seemed to die at the tip of her tongue, never making it past her lips. “Did that make you feel better?” she asked lowly, knowing the answer, but needing to break the silence with something.

Clark shook her head slowly, appearing to come out of her daze, “No,” she whispered, her body visibly slowly crumbing into itself as they all stared at the now lifeless body.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Last night....
> 
> Do we wanna talk about it? Do we need a hug? I think I do...yeah, actually, I know I do. We knew it was going to happen, right? Eventually she was going to die, because, that's what always happens. 
> 
> It still doesn't frustrate me any less. And now I'm left questioning nearly every action and reaction that we have seen on the show. 
> 
> How much as AI and how much was Lexa? Was Lexa acting out of the technical imperative to keep life alive, were her feelings genuine or manipulated by the chip imbedded in her? 
> 
> More importantly:
> 
> Why did they have to kill her RIGHT AFTER?! 
> 
> No posts over this weekend, I need to do some work on my other Clexa story, and quite frankly, I wouldn't mind a little break to figure out how this is going to effect the story! 
> 
> Share your thoughts with me, I need to hear what you think.

Lexa struggled against the urge to move to Clark, to wrap her up in her arms and comfort her. To whisper soothing words in her ear and remind her how strong and noble she was, how amazingly fierce she could be, if she would just trust herself enough. Trust herself to give in to that thing that would make her an astounding leader, if she just let it. She fought the urge because Lincoln was there, and because somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that the urge was not appropriate. Not amidst all this death, it would not be appropriate for her, as Heda, to show compassion or restraint when the Commander needed to be cold, detached, and calculating. 

Instead, she held back and waited. She waited to see who would move first, would break the silence and spur the three of them back to action. Lexa was certain that the waiting would kill her. Somewhere inside the mountain, their deaths were being celebrated, a false sense of accomplishment was heralded, and yet here she stood, waiting. 

She glanced at Lincoln, who had not moved, his hand clutching his shoulder as he stared at the dead body, assessing it for something familiar that Lexa couldn’t begin to understand. “He’s not wearing a suit,” he finally broke the silence, glancing up at Clark. 

Lexa watched as the words registered on Clarks face, her eyes visibly clicking into focus as recognition of the words and their meaning took form. “He’s….” she moved forward, slowly, her gun still in her hand as it hung at her side, “not wearing a suit?” She finished slowly, as if testing the weight of the words. 

“A suit?” Lexa asked, not understanding the significance of the words. 

“A hazmat suit,” Clark clarified as she knelt down, her eyes scanning the lifeless form. 

“How?” Lincoln asked, kneeling next to her. “Every time I’ve seen them, they wore the suits.” 

Lexa crossed the space to get a better look at the man responsible now for countless deaths in TonDC, the one who had somehow known that Clark would be in the village with her, who had hoped that the missile had taken their lives. He was dressed in a brown jacket and wore gloves, and wore a hat covered in grass or shrubs. What an absurd hat, she thinks as she takes the prone figure in, it does nothing to stop him from being spotted, if that was his intention.

Clark shifted on her heels and rubbed her eyes. “The marrow,” she said in a hollow voice, sounding defeated. 

“The what?” she asked, glancing quickly between the Lincoln and Clark before evaluating their surroundings. We are to exposed, she thought, trying to find an avenue of escape in case another mountain man appeared. 

“Bone marrow,” Clark looked up, her eyes hollow and weathered from being rubbed, “they are taking the bone marrow out of my friends and injecting themselves with it to force their body to adapt to the radiation levels on the surface, it seems the treatments are working, which means they don't need the suits anymore.” Lexa felt lost, she didn’t understand what all that meant except for the fact that the mountain men now seemed to be more powerful and capable then they were before. Their threat loomed larger for some indiscernible reason that extended beyond the missile they had launched. Clark looked away from her, squinting at some far off point before she released a heavy sigh, “my friends…” she trailed off quietly. 

“Are in trouble?” Lexa finished, staring intently into pained blue eyes.

“Yes,” she answered thickly, trying to hold back whatever emotion she was feeling. 

Lexa stood, needing to do something definitive, feeling a robotic need or impulse to be proactive and help heal against the pain in the blonds voice. “Take what you need from him, we head back at once.” Lincoln and Clark stared at her, surprised by the abrupt change in tone. Her skin itched, the need to get back to her people, to coordinate and reorganize whatever was left of TonDC, to gather her army in preparation for an attack was overcoming her.

Lexa started moving, making her way back towards the safety of the cover of trees, back to her people. Lincoln caught up to her, calling for her to stop. “Heda!” 

She slowed, but did not stop, “what?” 

“Let me go ahead,” he offered, pulling her to a halt, “make sure the path is clear for you and Klark.” He paused, glancing back at the blond still with the dead sniper, “I think she might need you right now.” 

She followed his gaze, huffed slightly at his request, “Need me? I don’t believe it’s my place to help her grieve right now.” She stared back at Lincoln who shook his head. “What she needs is revenge for her people. Only war can give her the closure she needs, I can’t help her.” 

“Who better to help her right now then you, Heda?” His reply was soft, and it tore at her slightly. He had always been gentle, kind, giving; it was this ability to see beyond the outer shell of a person that made him so powerful, to look beyond what a person said they wanted to what they actually needed. “I think you two have more in common then either one of you would like to see.”

She nodded, pausing only long enough to glance back and make sure that Clark was still far enough away to not hear them, “I wouldn’t have blamed you…” she stalled slightly, felt the need to drop her gaze from his probing eyes for a moment, “for leaving with Oktavia.”

Lincoln narrowed his eyes, his head cocked slightly at her words. “You see it, don’t you?” He asked, staring hard at her, as if trying to read her mind. 

For a moment, Lexa felt he might just be able to do that, and it irked her, “see what?” she asked flatly, her patience suddenly waring painfully thin. 

Lincoln smiled at her, “there is more to this Skaïkru. Push past their ignorance and fear, there is something real and genuine and powerful there. You can tap into that, Heda. You can bring…”

She held her hand up stopping him from continuing, it was to much right now. To much to think about, to prepare for. To much hope on a day that felt like it was covered by a pitiless despair, “go, scout the area. Make sure no more Mounoun are around that could attack us when we are at our weakest.” His face fell as he nodded, but he did not argue. 

She inhaled deeply, slowly letting her eyes travel to Clark, who was holding the metal rod that had debilitated Lincoln in her hand. How is she capable of caring so deeply all the time, Lexa thought as she watched her searching through a pocket of the sniper, it must be exhausting all the time. Clark’s body suddenly went rigid, as she raised her hand and started striking it down against the lifeless body, a stream of incomprehensible words spewing from her mouth with each hit. Lexa ran to her, dropped down behind her before she wrapped her arms around Clark’s body. She felt the blond resit for only a moment before her entire frame went limp in her arms, a soft whimper replacing the venom that she had been expelling. 

“It’s ok, Klark,” Lexa tried to soothe her, tried to hold her together despite her threats to crumble right before her. Stay with me Klark, she thought as she squeezed the blond tighter, please don’t disappear on me now. She kept her arms pinned around the sky girl, slowly rocking her back and forth like Anya had done for her after Costia’s death. “It’s ok.” Lexa whispered, she didn’t know how long she held Clark like that, for how long she sat there with her, able to only offer soothing sounds and a strong firm grasp that held the sky girl up, refused to let her fall apart despite having all the right reasons to. 

An angry sob escaped from Clark as she struggled to catch her breath, “my friends,” she whimpered, “I can’t save them.” 

Lexa felt the burden Clark was carrying, understood it intimately. She shushed the girl, not wanting her to drown in its weight, “we will save them, Klark.” 

“All those people,” Clark whispered, her breath now under control, “in your village. We couldn’t save them.” 

Lexa’s jaw tensed at the statement, it was true, they had walked away unscathed while people burned. Her people burned. But what good would it have done to have burned along with them? Who would lead their army into battle? Who would wage the war that needed to be waged in order to stop the death and destruction that the Mountain had started? “We could not save them, but we will avenge them.”

Clark twisted around, eyeing Lexa who released her grip and tried to put space between them. “You look like shit.” Clark smirked at her, reaching up to wipe something off her cheek. 

Lexa froze at the action, feeling it much to intimate despite the moment they had just shared. She watched Clark focus on cleaning the smudge, her face slightly puffy from her recently shed tears, you always look radiant, she thought with a blush, giving in to the impulse to look away. “We should go,” Lexa stood up, offering her hand to Clark, who took it willingly. 

They walked back in silence towards the black plume of smoke that seemed to overtake the horizon. She tried to keep her eyes off the view in the distance, didn’t want to see how large the damage was or how far it had managed to reach. She kept her eyes down, carefully gauging each step she made as if she might step on false ground and fall through the very crust of the earth into the pit that the missile had made. She was thankful that night was quickly approaching, thankful that the night sky would shroud TonDC and afford her even the slightest bit of relief from the destruction that had happened. 

Clark sped up as they approached the village, the smell of death filled her nostrils and made her feel dizzy with disgust. She set her face firm, needed to make sure that her people saw her as the rock that they could build their hopes and dreams on. 

She thought she was prepared for the devastation she was about to see, but as she neared the ridge that Clark stood on, her breath caught in her body and her mind reeled at the scope of loss that laid out before her. She felt her knees weaken slightly, and it took all her will power to maintain her stoic appearance. All around her, there was chaotic movement, people moving rocks from the rubble of the building that she and Clark had stood in hours before, bodies were being moved and assessed. 

In the middle of the mess stood Octavia, shouting directions as she tried to bring a sense of order to the chaos. She watched as Lincoln ran to her, his arm hanging limply at his side, as recognition took hold of Octavia and they embraced. She felt an odd twinge of jealously at their embrace, wishing just for a moment to have someone hold her with the same level of intensity that they shared at that moment. She felt the dull ache that was associated with the thought of Costia, prepared to let the memory overtake her, but the thought didn't come, Instead she found herself staring at Clark, watching her move away, wondering where the desire to reach out and stop her suddenly came from. 

The chanting of her people, finally broke her out of her revery. She felt guilt in their faith of her, wondering what would change if they found out that she had known about the missile beforehand. That she and Clark had barely escaped with their lives, at the cost of hundreds of innocent people.

She needed to capture this energy, needed it to mean something worthwhile, needed her people to continue to believe. She held her hand up, and the chanting stopped at once, “what happened here will not stand. The mountain will fall.” She glanced around, feeling the heated energy of the moment spreading, her own anger mounting at the sight of devastation around her, “the dead will be avenged!”

The crowd cheered at her words, at the promise they conveyed. Blood will have blood, she thought to herself. 

“Enough!” Abbey yelled out, glaring at her and Clark, “thats enough. There are still others in the wreckage, we heard them. Go to work!” 

All able bodies scrambled to assist with a new energy, moving boulders, working to free anyone still trapped under the rubble. She glanced at Clark, who’s whole body seemed to be held up with the stress and burden of the secret they both now carried. Lexa felt the need to console her somehow, remind her that all was not lost, “with our two people working together, we’re gonna win this war, Klark. ” 

Clark nodded slowly, the look of devastation etched on her face. They stood there and watched as the world around them moved. An odd ballet began to assemble itself as a cleansing rain began to fall. “We need to get the wounded back to my camp.” Clark’s voice broke through the tremor of moans that surrounded them, giving Lexa a light that she felt she could follow. 

“I’ll get some warrior to escort them back safely,” her respond was curt, far more emotionless then she had intended. 

No more waiting, Lexa’s jaws clenched with the though, she watched Clark leave her side and catch up with her mother. Her eyes continued to move around the pit, watched scenes unfold before her as if she was merely a passive observer to how human life worked. She felt oddly disconnected from it all, she silently thanked the decades of training that her mentor had beat into her, how to remain impassive to emotion, how to rule with a clear head despite the constant devastation that surrounded their lives. 

They needed to leave, to move to the front line and prepare. One of her guards bowed slightly as he reached her, “I’m leaving at once,” she informed, her eyes traveling over faceless figures until they land on Clarks head. “I need a group of able bodied warriors to help transport the hurt to the Skaïkru camp, another to stay behind and help rescue as many people as possible. Whoever is left needs to their respective general.” She paused, realizing that there might actually be anyone left but her to report to, “I need to know who from the council is still alive and able to give orders.” She glanced at him, seeing him nod before he turned and walked away. She squinted slightly, picking up blond hair again, watching her closely, waiting for her to move to do something. 

Rain started to fall heavier, it’s going to make recovery harder, Lexa mused as she watched the water soak into the soft dirt, what an odd way to cleanse the village. 

“We’re ready, Commander.” Indra appeared at her side.

Lexa turned and the sight of her forced her carefully controlled emotion to well up in her throat, she felt like she was suddenly choking as she tried to inhale a deep breath, trying to push past it. “Your arm…” Lexa’s eyes moved across Indra’s body, trying to assess the damage that had been inflicted. 

“Will heal,” Indra answered flatly before she had a chance to say anything else. “We are fine.” She heard Indra say, but Lexa couldn’t process the words. She felt her warm touch as she grabbed her hand, “We are fine.” She repeated, emphasizing each word for Lexa’s benefit. 

She knows, Lexa realized grasping Indra’s hand with her own. Lexa nodded numbly, “I…”

“I’m glad you and Klark are unhurt,” Indra cut her off, a curt nod given in the sky girls direction. 

“Yes,” Lexa hesitated at the statement, “I’m glad you are alive, Indra.” Lexa squeezed back, a final nod given before she turned. She caught Clark’s eye as they walked towards TonDC’s entrance, she saw a familiar flicker in those eyes, one of passion and riotous anger. We can do this. Together, she thought, her face set firm as she lead her people through the woods. 

She and Clark, would lead them through this. Would rescue their people, and bring the mountain down once and for all.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me during my hiatus. I really needed to step away from this story for a little while, and sort of collect myself again. 
> 
> I will be finishing the season, adding a few chapters that are of my own creation; but sticking very closely to the original storyline. I have started writing season 3, but that will diverge extensively. I mention this, because this story will be connected, so if you notice differences to the original storyline, that's why! 
> 
> This is a slightly shorter chapter then usual, but I wanted to get back in to the swing of things, and thought it was better to post then postpone! 
> 
> Let me know if you're still there, I know it's been a while since I've posted, so I hope I haven't lost to many readers interest!!! 
> 
> XO

They walked in silence across the dark expanse of the woods. The steady rain thoroughly soaked Lexa despite the canopy cover, making the trek that much heavier and cold. She could feel the heat of Clark's body next to her, her awkward gait causing her to bump into Lexa whenever she stepped over the uneven ground. Lexa's fingers itched to reach out and take the blondes hand in her own, to comfort her from the devastation they all just experienced; but she kept them balled at her side, not wanting to break decorum for either of them. After all, they needed to focus on what was important, their ultimate mission at hand. 

She had an army to lead, a war to win, and people to free. 

Anything else right now was frivolous. A distraction. There will be time for more, later, she promised herself, chancing another side longed glance in Clark's direction. Looking around, Lexa realized that they were both a fair distance from the rest of the group, many having fallen behind to aid the wounded. Still, the nagging feeling of needing to offer some kind of respite to Clark hung thick in the air between them, she wanted to offer some kind of resolution to what had happened today, something to give meaning and understanding to the blond next to her. 

Perhaps, she reasoned, she needed it for herself as well. It’s not like this was the first devastating blow that her people had experienced. It was not the worst, but it was certainly the largest that had happened since she became the Commander. The mountain had been decimating warriors for generations, that was nothing new; and the war with the Azgeda had been short but violent. This, however, this level of ruin was different. 

What could her people do against missiles? For the first time in her life, she felt cold fear settle in as a wave of doubt overtook her in the darkness, did she have the capabilities to get her people out of this alive? 

Yet, even in this darkest of moments, there was a sense of hope that cut through her doubt. She chanced a sidelined glance at Clark again, and felt the familiar tingle in the back of her head. Was it fair to pour so much hope into the Skaiprisa? She shook off the familiar sensation, and focused on the road ahead of them. 

“I think I was 5 when I saw someone die for the first time." Lexa finally spoke up at nearly a whisper. 

Clark's head picked up as she returned Lexa's gaze, her brow furrowed, "that's so young", she offered, almost wistfully. "What happened?"

"The mountain.” Lexa responded flatly, her gaze focused on the tree line instead of Clark.

“Was it someone you knew?” Clark’s tone was soft, hesitant to press forward. 

“Ja” Lexa answered tentatively unsure of how much Clark wanted to hear. She glanced at the sky girl, and saw an eagerness in her eyes that coaxed her to continue. “She was the closest thing I had to an aunt and was my mother’s closest friend. After her partner died, she and her two kids lived with us.” Lexa blinked through the memory of the tall strong woman who had influenced her so heavily as a child. She found herself suddenly hit with memory of her laughter as it had filled their home, the warm feeling of security she had felt when they lived together nestled its way into her heart, and she found a small smile gracing her face at the sensation. 

“Go on” Clarke matched her smile in return, nudging her slightly with her elbow as they walked. 

“Ayenara was strong, so smart, and incredibly kind. She was as loving to me as my own mother and taught us to treat each life as precious, to respect all life, not just our clans. She and my mother were healers and they would just as quickly work to save a life from our clan as they would from a competing camp. It didn’t matter to her who it was, just that it was a life to be saved and protected. I think she wanted her kids, myself included to be healers as well. After her death, her children were absorbed by the community, raised as children of the clan; but they would always be my elder siblings. My mother looked after them as if they were her own, until her death.” Lexa exhaled slowly the breath she found herself holding as she reminisced. She let the memory fade as they continued to walked on quietly; the sound of the rain hitting the canopy above them breaking the silence intermittently. 

“Did any of them become healers?” Clark asked, breaking her out of her reverie. 

Lexa shook her head, “after Ayenara’s death, everything changed. The mountain had stolen their last parent and they were filled with a vengeful anger, one that made them a hollow version of themselves. They stopped wanting to be healers and became fierce warriors instead. As warriors we learned to channel our pain into something more productive, something to this day I know she would have never approved of.”

“What happened to her?” She glanced at Clark who nodded for her to continue.

“She had been out by the river and must have fought back during one of their raids. They brought her back to us, her stomach was just...destroyed." She glanced away, trying not to recall the images in her mind, the way the blood seemed to pour out of her wound, the agonizing screams. "They brought her to my mother, who tried. There was nothing that could be done but to make her as comfortable as possible.”

Clark opened her mouth as if she wanted to respond, but closed it without saying anything. Lexa felt lost, trapped in her private memory, chewing on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from giving in to any emotion she might be feeling, each contemplating their own version of life and death. “I think I’m glad that you were there with her” Clark finally added. 

“I am as well,” Lexa responded quickly, smiling softly “They had called for her kids, but they were older then me and had been sent to start their training, I was the only one there besides my mother. I was terrified, there was so much noise, and the room —I’ll never forget the smell.” Lexa swallowed thickly, trying to keep her voice even despite the emotion. “I held her hand, begging her to not die, begging my mother to make her be ok.” She shook her head at the memory of Ayenara’s caring eyes holding her gaze, strong and fierce. “She squeezed my hand and told me not to be afraid, ‘death is not the end’ she said to me.” She smiled at the memory, still hearing her words echo through her soul, “she looked so calm like she wasn’t afraid of anything. She promised she would find a way to come back to me, to watch over me somehow, and I wasn’t afraid anymore. I believed that she would,” Lexa narrowed her brow, before quietly adding, “sometimes I think she did.” 

Clark shook her head, her bottom lip sucked in as she chewed on it pensively. "I can't imagine that was easy."

"No, Klark. It wasn't" Lexa quietly answered as she glanced at the blond, smiling at the concern drawn across Clark’s brow. "It is however, the reality of what we have been living through. This might be the first time that you have seen devastation like this. But we have lived through many wars, have lost many people. Sometimes at our own hands, although more often by the hands of the mountain.”

“Why? Why do people keep fighting each other?” Clark’s voice was dripping frustration, “hasn’t there been enough death and destruction?”

Lexa shook her head, “there are never enough resources, enough protection, enough land between clans, enough power for their leaders. That’s why this coalition is so important, Klark. I need to maintain peace in order to keep everyone alive, your clan included. I need to free my people with as many lives in tact as I can, or the coalition will begin to crumble and fail.”

A comfortable silence fell between them until Clark spoke up suddenly, I wish,” Clark smiled shyly, catching Lexa’s eye before continuing, “I could have met her”

“You met the next best thing” Lexa couldn’t help but smile at Clark’s confusion, “her daughter, and the only big sister I ever knew.”

She watched as the sky girl processed her words, turning them carefully over in her mind before the realization hit, “Anya.”


End file.
